mindcracklove | Residual (Chapter Twenty-Six)

tanadin posting in

I made quite a few big mistakes in chapter twenty-five, so this and twenty-seven will be mostly cleanup from those mistakes- like Blame not bringing up something really important. Woops.

Chapter list: http://tanadin.dreamwidth.org/382.html
Map of the continent: http://tanadin.deviantart.com/art/Monstrous-Residual-map-526465833
Character status spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1yvK6D0XzgjhMNjblFFQaAeJ7JkzdidaLJux1S8qsSUA/edit#gid=1227692709

Chapter Twenty-Six

Kingdom of Traz’madar, Minecraftia. October 2, year 373. Time instance 483Z.

“What the fuck.” was the first thing said when the darkness around them faded, leaving them back outside of the mountain. It was exactly midnight- odd, they hadn’t seemed to have been in the Nether for more than fifteen to thirty minutes- and Aoxdorren was still absent.

Blame got to his feet after speaking, dusting himself off. Vechs helped Aureylian up- her ankle still didn’t like the motions that standing up required, and it twinged in pain when she walked, but it was usable due to the healing potion. Zisteau didn’t stand up.

“So we were whisked away to the Nether by one of the creators of the world, given a prophecy, and whisked back?” Aureylian asked, making sure she hadn’t missed anything. She looked over the notepad that contained the written version of the prophecy.

“Pretty much.” Vechs looked around at them. “This was not in my original plan for tonight.”

“Are you guys not even paying attention?” Blame demanded, taking the notepad from Aureylian. “We can’t win here! Do you not realize that? Whoever ‘she who bears the name of the shattered kingdom’ is, we need her to defeat the Hostiles. It sounds like the Shade- probably Specterveil- has to be defeated by her by bowshot. But he will be freed from the ‘gate’ after the ‘Bloodshadow bleeds the sky’… That has to be when it reaches its zenith. The entire sky turns red.” Blame swore viciously. “That’s two hundred years from now! We’ll be worldbuilders again by then, and interfering with major events like this is a big no-no, even with the limits placed on our powers. Dammit, that Ishtillion guy was right…it’s up to our…descendants…to finish off the Hostiles and purge the corruption.”

An odd thing to have to say.

Blame started pacing. “This is so stupid. So, so stupid. How do we keep them from destroying everything for two hundred years? How do we know that this is what’s supposed to happen?” He was clearly not happy at how confused and angry he felt.

Vechs took the notepad from him and looked it over. “I really have no idea what we’re supposed to be doing here… And Ishtillion didn’t make a lot of sense. Why am I immune to this curse of Vallor’roth’s? Why did he curse the Davions in the first place? Who’s Altaria? He didn’t wait to answer all of our questions. And I think he knew more than he was letting on- where did this thing ever say anything about descendants?” He turned to Zisteau. “Z, what do you th- Z?”

Zisteau was still sitting on the ground, blinking his eyes and occasionally closing one or the other and waving his hand in front of his face.

Wait. Eyes?

“Z, you’re-“

“My right eye’s back!” Zisteau whooped, grinning broadly and looking at them. His right side, the rotted side, looked the same as it had since Vechs had first seen him, except for the addition of Zisteau’s blue eye. “I haven’t been able to see properly since before we went into that damn lab!” He got to his feet, a little shaky, but laughing. “Vechs, I can see again!”

Vechs grinned, hugging him briefly. “That’s great, Zisteau! Seeing is pretty important!”

“But how?” Aureylian was very confused. “How did this happen?”

Zisteau hesitated, then came to a conclusion. “Ishtillion. When we went through the darkness, I heard his voice in my head, saying something about a gift. But why…?”

“He does look kinda undead. Maybe he took pity on you? Or maybe it’s because you’re also a monster.” Vechs shrugged. “It’s still weird being referred to as a monster and that not really being a bad thing, even after about fifty years.”

Aureylian was, not for the first time, struck by how weird the situation was. Chad, Zisteau, and Vechs were the youngest of the Mindcrackers other than her- and they were all older than seventy. Most Mindcrackers were several centuries old, and yet, every one of them looked between the ages of twenty and forty or so.
It was really starting to weird her out.

She shook it off, though, as Blame spoke again.

“We need to tell Guude about this. I think we need to hold a meeting anyway, get our bearings, figure out what to do next. This is just another topic to go over.” Blame sighed. “I wish that Ishtillion guy had been a little more specific with the instructions. He just kinda summoned us up, told us that we couldn’t win, and sent us back. That’s really not helpful in any way.”

The four turned to look as the iron door creaked open and Anderz poked his head outside.

“Well, at least I found you! What are you doing out here? You guys vanished without a trace and we got really, really worried.”

“Why were you looking for us?” Blame asked him. Vechs felt like the Skullblade raised an eyebrow, but it was impossible to tell due to his mask. He shook the feeling off. How would he have any idea of what went on beneath that mask?

“Pak was wanting to ask you something, Blame, and we quickly realized that all four of you were missing, and so was Aoxdorren. Where is she? Do you know?”

“Er, I, uh, gave her the night off.” Vechs looked embarrassed.

“Why?”

“I’d…we’d…”

“We’ll explain soon.” Aureylian said, earning a look of gratitude from Vechs. “We need to hold a meeting soon, mostly because we just got talked to by one of the creators of the world and were told a prophecy.”
Anderz blinked. “Uhhh…alright then. Just…get inside.”

~~~

Vechs sat down on the bed, exhausted. He and the others had had to explain the basis of what had happened to Guude, and he found himself very low on energy, drained by being whisked between the overworld and the Nether twice in quick succession. Guude had announced that there would be a meeting at noon tomorrow, and had sent the four of them to run around and let everyone know- at midnight. Aurey had opted out, as her ankle was bothering her, and Vechs volunteered to tell those that she was supposed to inform.

He glanced at her lying down next to where he sat, and for the first time reflected that he had been sleeping in the same bed as her for about a week now. He was initially confused by how he had barely registered it, but then remembered everything that had been distracting him and crowding his mind.

Yeah. Not taking in the possible ways that this could be taken was not high on his list. He momentarily considered leaving and going back to his own bed, but the thought made him shiver, both with the thought of how much colder it would be (it WAS early October) and how lonely he would get.

He was also fearful that the nightmares would return. They had faded the past few nights, something that he was grateful for.

Feelings, emotions, thoughts.

He was about to lie down when he thought of something else- Ishtillion had mentioned that every single Mindcracker needed descendents. His face reddened when he thought of it and he averted his eyes from Aureylian. She was likely asleep, and he was grateful, as he didn’t want her asking why he seemed so indecisive.

That was a really, really awkward train of thought. Vechs had never even thought of the possibility of having children, and now it seemed like that was required to defeat the Hostiles and save the world.
Great. Just what he wanted- his fate being decided yet again by something outside of his control.
He looked at Aureylian again and sighed. Talk about awkward. He had really meant to bring up the whole emotions thing to her soon, but now…that wouldn’t exactly be easy. He made a decision and got under the covers, snuggling against her a little. He could worry about awkwardness in the morning.

~~~

Vechs awoke later in the morning than he had intended to, but that wasn’t really what caught his attention- no, he was a bit more distracted with exactly how close Aureylian was.

He couldn’t quite recall her ever being practically pressed up against him, snuggled against him and wrapped in his arms with her head against his chest.

No, he couldn’t quite recall that before.

Vechs wasn’t quite sure how to react, so he just lay there, not wanting to disturb her. Also, he admitted to himself a little guiltily, he kind of enjoyed it.

Eventually, though, her green eyes did slide open and she leaned back, yawning. He immediately let go of her, pulling away a little and hoping she wouldn’t really notice how close they had been. He had decided to deal with the awkwardness in the morning, but he decided to, once again, shove that responsibility off on his future self.

He wasn’t going to be too pleased about that, but oh well. He sat up and said good morning to Aureylian, smiling at her. She returned the smile and leaned over to hug him briefly before standing. As Vechs walked out of their little curtained off area main room, he noticed Chad watching them. Chad made a couple of questioning gestures with his hands and Vechs flipped him off. Chad only grinned in response.

“What time is it?” Aureylian asked, yawning.

Vechs glanced at the clock that Seth had installed in the room, ignoring Chad for the moment. “About eleven.”

“Great. I want to go check on Etho.” Without waiting for a response, Aureylian set off. Vechs followed, feeling a little bit like a lost duckling.

They found Etho sitting up, chatting with Nebris. He looked over at them and waved a little. He appeared to be wearing a shirt again, covering any and all bandages that he retained on his chest.

A strong rebound.

“It’s good to see you up, Etho!” Aureylian said cheerfully, stepping right over to him.

“It’s good to be up. I want to walk around but Nebris won’t let me.”

“You’re not strong enough! You could hurt yourself.”

Etho rolled his eyes. “Yes, mom.”

Vechs laughed. “So you’re not on the verge of death anymore- you have your witty comments back.”

“Being awake does wonders for sarcasm.”

“Are you going to the meeting?”

“No, he’s not.”

Etho shot a venomous look at Nebris. “Of course I am.” he said evenly. “I’m one of the Mindcrackers, aren’t I? You’d think you were worried about me.”

They talked with Etho and Nebris a bit more before saying goodbye and leaving so that they could get some food before the meeting. They made their way down to the meeting area with their food, as it really was the best table in the place.

Zisteau had quickly made some rough wooden chairs for himself, Aureylian, and Iirkolav, and set them up here and there. He was next to Kurt, Aureylian was between Vechs and Paul, and Iirkolav was next to Blame- surrounding the Skullblade with Vechses.

Vechs found Iirkolav already there, grumbling and writing. He hid the paper as soon as he saw them coming, though, mumbling a greeting as he shoved it somewhere out of sight. Vechs waved a little before sitting down with Aureylian. He checked the clock- eleven forty-six- and quickly started eating.

Mindcrackers quickly started to file in, Etho sliding into his seat just a minute before twelve. Vechs surveyed his friends and sighed a little.

Injured. Bruised. Battered.

He hoped that their news of the prophecy would help. And yet, somehow, he doubted it.

As he watched Guude stand, he was struck with a sudden sense of déjà vu; reminding him of the last meeting he had been in when he felt this anxious.

And, just like last time, the meeting was about to begin.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From: (Anonymous)

Oooh. Lots of shippyness :D
- Jimineeeeeeee

From:

tanadin

From:

thezombineer

Mooooooooooaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrr :p

From:

tackytacs

~~Remember, the plural for Vechs is Vecheseseseseseses~~

I'm so happy for Z though. ;u;

And dammit, now we got to wait until Wednesday for the next chapter.

From:

tanadin

That's annoying to type though.

From:

eclipse3

Velian. It's everywhere.
G.C. (::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)

From:

tanadin

From:

subliminalcircles

-heart spontaneously combusts-
THE VEYLIAN IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE

Edited Date: Tuesday, May 19th, 2015 09:10 pm (UTC)

From:

I can’t believe I missed the thing about the bloodshadow…. Derp. That one, and (at least part) of the confusion on why their descendants have to solve the problem are entirely on me - though there is still the question of why they can’t remain mortal and/or return as mortals when the time comes.

One thing that I noticed was "He and the others had had to explain" - I’m legitimately not sure if this is a typo or not, as it could work both the way it is currently written and with only one “had”. If it’s not, then while “had had” is a perfectly valid set of words that means something, it’s still a good idea to try and avoid using it, (yes, I know that how hard it is to not,) as it doesn’t flow well and is really repetitive. One trick that I’ve found to get around this is shortening the first “had” into a contraction - it still means the same thing, but it flow significantly better. For example, you could reword the quote I gave above into something like: “Once he and the others got inside, they’d had to explain….”. It means the same thing, but feels much less repetitive.

I also noticed one other thing that could benefit from a reword: "Not taking in the possible ways that this could be taken was not high on his list.". I think I understood what you meant (though I’m not absolutely sure), but I had to read it over a few times to do so. Unfortunately, I don’t have specific advice for this one - as it’s a combination of being one of those things that need to be learned, as well as there being as many solutions as there are ways to reword it. I can however, point out what I think the cause of the problem is, the (possible) double negative in the sentence. Not only are double negative inherently more confusing and/or easier to miss or misinterpret, (so unless you actually are using the double negative to create a different meaning, it’s normally a good idea to avoid them,) but it’s also not clear if this is or is not a double negative (depending on how the first “not” is applied), which adds to the confusion.

Other than those, however, awesome chapter! I can’t wait for the next!

From:

tanadin

Being mortal for them isn't an on/off switch- once you're fully worldbuilder, there's usually no way to go back without destroying yourself in the process.

I was so mad at that "had had" you have no idea. Thank you for pointing out how to get around it.

From:

Ah, okay. That makes sense.... Though I do see one more problem.....

Sure thing! I've suffered plenty of "had had" anger myself.

From:

tanadin

What problem do you see, Seven?

had had had had had had had had >

From:

One of the mindcrackers becoming a world builder (by dying, or whatever), and then using their limited world builder powers to make it so that the others don't die before the bloodshadow rises.