Prompt Swap #7: Bedtime

[tjmachado]

And it's done! I got Cassadanya's prompts, and I picked "Open up a book to a page beginning with the word the, pick your favorite line, and write!"

Resulting prompt: "Blocking out the pain became difficult"



Blocking out the pain became difficult as things began to fade to black.

"Aurey!" she heard his squeal. "What- what did you do?"

"I... May have punched the TNT" she groaned out.

"Primed. You need to at least be ready to run away if you're gonna do that. You know me and my maps by now!"

"Well, I should expect that from you."

Vechs quickly grabbed a Medkit and ran over. Hastily he used a splash potion to at least get Aureylian back onto her feet.

sssss

"MOVE!"

"Outta my way!"

The pair scrambled from the sound, narrowly missing being blown to pieces by the green hostility.

"Too close for comfort!"

"Do you think? Why don't we go back to the base, it's safer there."

"Mm... I don't like retreating, but okay."

"No, you're thinking of it wrong Vechs! We're not retreating, we're simply advancing in another direction!"

"If that lets you sleep tonight."

And with that exchange the pair began to walk back to their home base, wary of any surprise visitors or interruptions. On their way back they had to cross the Bridge of the Void, aptly named to match its location.

"I've never liked this path."

"And that's why I make it the only way!"

"You're-"

"Pure evil? Thanks, I know!"

"And a little conceited."

"Just another wondrous trait of a Vetches!"

"Fine then, let's go."

The pair began across the bridge. Unaware, they nearly walked directly into a Creeper.

"Wah!" Aurey yelled as the ground was blown from under her. She closed her eyes, awaiting the inevitable tick damage from empty space. However, her momentum was stopped, as she felt some force holding her from above. She opened her eyes to see Vechs hanging from the broken edge of the bridge, and her hand in his.

"Don't worry Aurey, I've got you!"

Above Vechs' red helmet she saw a flash of green.

sssss

"Vechs, above you!"

But there was nothing to be done. Time slowed down as the explosion sent them careening off with shattered pieces of the bridge.

Down was the only possibility.

Comments

[wildh10l]

I'm not a fan of Veylian at all, but it actually enjoyed this. Good job!

Just a little constructive critism, it gets confusing with extended dialogue when you don't explain who's who and who's saying what. I know it gives a certain effect, leaving "x said" and "y said" out, but it also makes it more confusing.

Also, add some more description! You're on a great track here! This could be made even better with a bit more description.

"Move!" She screamed, hearing the deadly sound behind her.

Or

"I never liked this path, " she groaned as she stepped onto the small, unstable bridge.

Just simple things like that, that add description here, there and everywhere, and your writing will be even better! :)

[cassadanya]

I really liked this... I didn't think anyone would pick that prompt, so I was surprised.

[tjmachado]

To be honest, I just wasn't feeling any of the other prompts, and this was an interesting concept (almost a prompt generator in itself), so...