The portal prologue

[blue_cats]

First time writing a fanfic hope you like it!

Prologue



Guude stands up in front of three of his fellow mindcrackers, to tell them about this new found discovery standing before them "I have gathered you all here today to show you this mysterious portal Zisteau found yesterday, Zisteau?"

Zisteau stands and states "This is no ordinary portal well made of obsidian, it is not purple but.."

Aureylain jumps up, yelling "Pink! Its pink!" And runs towards it only to be yanked back by Vechs grabbing her cape. He whispers to her "Wait for them to finish." She sighs and sits beside him eyes only for the portal, and waits for Zisteau to continue.

"As I was saying" glares for a second at Aureylain then continues "the portal is not uniform purple but pink, and I am wondering where it will go." He stares at the sky deep in thought.

MC glances at him and asks "What are we going to do about it then?"

Nebris standing up asks "Why don't we just go through it?"

Etho finally deciding to talk answers "We could do that, if we do we have to go one at a time though."

Aureylain's head jerks up as she asks "Can I go first then?" "Well if your going I am to." Says Vechs looking her in the eye. "Well I really want to see whats on the other side..." mutters Zisteau.
"Well at this rate we might as well all go though!" Exclaims Etho shaking his head.

"On the count of three then. one, two, three!" Guude yells.
End of Prologue
Hope you liked it.

Comments

[tdscott8]

Hey there,! :P
You should probably add a cut to your story, and add spaces between each piece of dialogue.

[blue_cats]

Think I fixed it maybe it changed how I had it originally at one point think its fixed now right?

[scaredykitty]

It still doesn't have cuts, so ah...no

[blue_cats]

I am so confused I just tryed what you said and it didn't wor, please help!

[gummy53]

Oh I see what you did, the first one should be and the second one is . Don't forget the slash.

Hope that helps :)

[blue_cats]

Finally fixed it! hope you guys can give me some feed back on the story so far.
Thanks for the help

[gummy53]

It's good, but a good tip that I've gotten (quite a lot, actually) is to slow down a bit- no need to rush through the story.

Also, I loved Aurey freaking out about the pink portal, that was great :D <3

[blue_cats]

Well I kind of did write this in a small time frame so thats probably why it seems rushed because my actual time was short.
Also I'm kind of a fan of the "girly" side of Aurey so hence pink freak outs.

Can't wait to post the first chapter or whatever I'm going to call it already on the threed can't spell, any ways hope you enjoy the rest. :)

[gummy53]

Yay, girly Aurey :D and can't wait for the next chapter! :)

[scaredykitty]

Greetings! All fanfics, no matter how short, need to use cuts!

In html, you can do cuts by putting < cut> at the start of the fic (without the space after the < ) and < /cut) at the end of the fic (once again without the space after the <)

Thank you!

[giggleworthy]

And don't forget tags! They are amazing! As is this!

[tdscott8]

Much better! This fic is actually really, really good so far! I think you got Aurey's character down perfectly! :D
Also, are you in theatre? Something 'bout the way you write leads me to believe you are.

[blue_cats]

nope I'm just an avid reader who has read so many books that she can't name them all,some times I also talk about myself in 3erd person. thanks for the feed back.