Void: Chapter 2
Wednesday, September 17th, 2014 06:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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mindcrackloveHi! I'll get one chapter everyday, if I can. Also,
yay, I made a cut.
Vechs
Who’s he? I wondered. A past boyfriend? A past husband? Why would someone laugh at her name?
“Tell me about, whats it called?” she said, jolting me out of my thoughts.
“Mindcrackica” I said.
“Right.”
“Well, um, there are lots of people…”
“How many?” she interrupted.
“28, I think”
“Oh. Is there a ruler?”
“Yes. But don't ask who.” She sits in silence for a minute, then she says,
“Is it real?”
“Mindcrackica?” I ask. She nods. “Yes.” I whisper to her, not wanting to scare her.
“Can you take me?” I gasp. “What?! What did I say?!” she says.
“Nothing, Just I thought you wouldn’t want to go.” I exclaim. Would she really come this willingly, to a world with monsters? The only one who could help us, would come? I couldn’t believe this! I would take her, of course I would. But like all things in Mindcrackica, going to Mindcrackica came with a price.
“Well, lets go!” she cried.
“There is one problem though.”
“What is it?” she asked nervously.
“There is a price, to go there.”
“What is is it?”
“Your life here in Minecrafta.”
yay, I made a cut.
Vechs
Who’s he? I wondered. A past boyfriend? A past husband? Why would someone laugh at her name?
“Tell me about, whats it called?” she said, jolting me out of my thoughts.
“Mindcrackica” I said.
“Right.”
“Well, um, there are lots of people…”
“How many?” she interrupted.
“28, I think”
“Oh. Is there a ruler?”
“Yes. But don't ask who.” She sits in silence for a minute, then she says,
“Is it real?”
“Mindcrackica?” I ask. She nods. “Yes.” I whisper to her, not wanting to scare her.
“Can you take me?” I gasp. “What?! What did I say?!” she says.
“Nothing, Just I thought you wouldn’t want to go.” I exclaim. Would she really come this willingly, to a world with monsters? The only one who could help us, would come? I couldn’t believe this! I would take her, of course I would. But like all things in Mindcrackica, going to Mindcrackica came with a price.
“Well, lets go!” she cried.
“There is one problem though.”
“What is it?” she asked nervously.
“There is a price, to go there.”
“What is is it?”
“Your life here in Minecrafta.”
no subject
Date: Wednesday, September 17th, 2014 01:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, September 18th, 2014 01:02 am (UTC)You do a small spelling error, (Mindcrckica vs. Mindcrackica)
also, i do believe there are 29 now
no subject
Date: Thursday, September 18th, 2014 01:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, September 18th, 2014 01:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, September 18th, 2014 02:45 am (UTC)Uno question/suggestion: have you considered spacing out the dialogue? It might make the text look a little less cramped. Just a suggestion, ignore if you'd like ;) otherwise, great! ^•^