Memories :: Prologue (SMS)
Thursday, August 28th, 2014 06:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gummy53 posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
mindcrackloveHello Salad! After like a month or two of not posting any writing I am back! There has been a lack of SMS around this place. So yes.
This will be multiple chapters, and it's kinda-sorta planned out. Prepare for lots of spelling mistakes as I do not have a beta. Yet. I don't know.
Also, after reading and you have any constructive criticism then please, please, PLEASE tell me. Please. It would be very helpful ^-^
If you didn't know, I ship SMS. And this story also implies VechsxZisteau sorta, but not really. So yeah. <3
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"3... 2... 1... GO!"
Zisteau counted down, and as soon as he said the word 'go' he and Kurt took off down the passageways of the dark cave. Kurt's legs moved as fast as they possibly could, only stopping at the sight of anything valuable.
They were doing an ABBA competition, and he was determined to win. The past times they'd done this, Zisteau had always beat him, always finding just a tad bit more resources than him. But not this time.
He dashed through each branch, not bothering to light his surroundings up with torches as he collected minerals. Diamonds, redstone, gold. He seemed to be having a little good luck streak going, and he wasn't going to quit mining until time ran out.
His bag that he was tossing his treasure into progressively got heavier and heavier. His legs started to ache, but that wasn't going to slow him down. Suddenly, he heard a subtle beeping sound coming from his watch. The alarm he set was going off, time to head back towards the surface so he can add up points and prove to Zed that he could win ABBA, too.
Kurt retraced his steps through the extensive cave, until he looked up at a tunnel and saw early morning sun rays peeking through an entrance. He climbed up and was greeted by the warm morning air on his skin. He looked around the area- this wasn't the entrance he had originally entered from but it was pretty close, judging from his map. He walked back over to the original entrance, but Zisteau wasn't there yet.
"Zisteau?" Had he gotten lost in the cave? If that was the case he was probably digging his way out. So Kurt patiently waited outside the entrance, positive that this time he was going to win.
Several minutes later, Zisteau still hadn't surfaced. Kurt began to wonder where he could be. Kurt cautiously made his way back down the original entrance and made the turn Zisteau had gone when they had first began.
"Zisteau, are you there?" Kurt kept shouting, his voice ricocheting off the cave walls and echoing back to his ears. It seemed as if Zisteau's side of the cave had an endless amount of passageways, leading farther and farther. It was like Zisteau was nowhere to be found.
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Zisteau opened his eyes slowly. He was laid down on the damp floor of a small room. The walls were made of stone, so he assumed he was underground somewhere. He heard footsteps coming from his left, so he sat up and turned to see his visitor.
"Oh, wonderful! You're awake! I was wondering when you'd wake up." the man said. He had shiny black hair under a red miner's cap and emerald green goggles. Vechs.
"What the.. what the hell, Vechs?" he questioned the man standing above him.
"Oh, nothing." he replied. "Just getting back at someone in particular. You were stolen from me, so I'll do the same," he said while taking what looked to be a syringe from his pocket.
"Okay, if you could just explain to me what is going on..." Zisteau questioned, beginning to stand up. Vechs put his hands on Zisteau's shoulders and abruptly shoved him back to the floor.
"No need to explain. You'll forget what I said in a matter of minutes." Vechs commented with a smirk on his face. "Pigman AI. So simpleminded, dimwitted. So easy to deceive. Forgetful, to say the least. If you had the same mind as an average pigman, you wouldn't remember anything."
"Wait, what do you me-" Zisteau's sentence was cut short by the long needle being stabbed into his shoulder, making him dizzy.
"Now we'll just wait for you to pass out, and I'll start with the tests." Vechs said. It was the last thing Zisteau heard before his sight went fuzzy and he started to feel sleepy. All went black.
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Just a simple idea, hope it was kinda interesting. I hope. <3
Also, the SMS shippy stuff will come later. Obviously there wasn't much SMS shippy things here but you know. Expect this to get more SMS-focused once I can actually get things going. ^-^
This will be multiple chapters, and it's kinda-sorta planned out. Prepare for lots of spelling mistakes as I do not have a beta. Yet. I don't know.
Also, after reading and you have any constructive criticism then please, please, PLEASE tell me. Please. It would be very helpful ^-^
If you didn't know, I ship SMS. And this story also implies VechsxZisteau sorta, but not really. So yeah. <3
--------------------------------
"3... 2... 1... GO!"
Zisteau counted down, and as soon as he said the word 'go' he and Kurt took off down the passageways of the dark cave. Kurt's legs moved as fast as they possibly could, only stopping at the sight of anything valuable.
They were doing an ABBA competition, and he was determined to win. The past times they'd done this, Zisteau had always beat him, always finding just a tad bit more resources than him. But not this time.
He dashed through each branch, not bothering to light his surroundings up with torches as he collected minerals. Diamonds, redstone, gold. He seemed to be having a little good luck streak going, and he wasn't going to quit mining until time ran out.
His bag that he was tossing his treasure into progressively got heavier and heavier. His legs started to ache, but that wasn't going to slow him down. Suddenly, he heard a subtle beeping sound coming from his watch. The alarm he set was going off, time to head back towards the surface so he can add up points and prove to Zed that he could win ABBA, too.
Kurt retraced his steps through the extensive cave, until he looked up at a tunnel and saw early morning sun rays peeking through an entrance. He climbed up and was greeted by the warm morning air on his skin. He looked around the area- this wasn't the entrance he had originally entered from but it was pretty close, judging from his map. He walked back over to the original entrance, but Zisteau wasn't there yet.
"Zisteau?" Had he gotten lost in the cave? If that was the case he was probably digging his way out. So Kurt patiently waited outside the entrance, positive that this time he was going to win.
Several minutes later, Zisteau still hadn't surfaced. Kurt began to wonder where he could be. Kurt cautiously made his way back down the original entrance and made the turn Zisteau had gone when they had first began.
"Zisteau, are you there?" Kurt kept shouting, his voice ricocheting off the cave walls and echoing back to his ears. It seemed as if Zisteau's side of the cave had an endless amount of passageways, leading farther and farther. It was like Zisteau was nowhere to be found.
------------------------------------
Zisteau opened his eyes slowly. He was laid down on the damp floor of a small room. The walls were made of stone, so he assumed he was underground somewhere. He heard footsteps coming from his left, so he sat up and turned to see his visitor.
"Oh, wonderful! You're awake! I was wondering when you'd wake up." the man said. He had shiny black hair under a red miner's cap and emerald green goggles. Vechs.
"What the.. what the hell, Vechs?" he questioned the man standing above him.
"Oh, nothing." he replied. "Just getting back at someone in particular. You were stolen from me, so I'll do the same," he said while taking what looked to be a syringe from his pocket.
"Okay, if you could just explain to me what is going on..." Zisteau questioned, beginning to stand up. Vechs put his hands on Zisteau's shoulders and abruptly shoved him back to the floor.
"No need to explain. You'll forget what I said in a matter of minutes." Vechs commented with a smirk on his face. "Pigman AI. So simpleminded, dimwitted. So easy to deceive. Forgetful, to say the least. If you had the same mind as an average pigman, you wouldn't remember anything."
"Wait, what do you me-" Zisteau's sentence was cut short by the long needle being stabbed into his shoulder, making him dizzy.
"Now we'll just wait for you to pass out, and I'll start with the tests." Vechs said. It was the last thing Zisteau heard before his sight went fuzzy and he started to feel sleepy. All went black.
---------------------
Just a simple idea, hope it was kinda interesting. I hope. <3
Also, the SMS shippy stuff will come later. Obviously there wasn't much SMS shippy things here but you know. Expect this to get more SMS-focused once I can actually get things going. ^-^
no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 12:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 12:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 12:39 am (UTC)Explain the surrounds a bit more, your readers can't see into your mind! Don't rush things, details help slow things down. Uh, I donno? And your welcome! :)
no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 12:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 12:59 am (UTC)Glad to help! :)
no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 02:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 10:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 02:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 10:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 02:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 10:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 02:47 am (UTC)I agree with Freezer, slow down and add description, there's no need to race through the story.
As for beta-ing, it would love to but I'm busy lately and I don't think I'm really the type of beta you're looking for. However, Thero just created a new forum where you can look up a beta for your story or post your story for a beta to find you. I can't link it because I'm on mobile but it's stickied to the top of DW and if you want a beta, that's your best bet (unless someone finds you from here). Good luck and keep writing!
no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 10:30 am (UTC)And as for getting a beta, I'll look into it. Thank you for the help :D
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Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 02:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 10:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 08:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 10:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, August 30th, 2014 03:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, August 30th, 2014 03:39 am (UTC)Oh! Thanks Gummy!
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Date: Friday, August 29th, 2014 11:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, August 30th, 2014 03:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, August 30th, 2014 04:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, August 30th, 2014 11:49 am (UTC)