Chapter 1 of... The thing my brain couldn't name
Friday, August 15th, 2014 04:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cooki_cutta posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
mindcracklovePart 2: http://mindcracklove.dreamwidth.org/824433.html
Gah, I really haven’t learned my lesson that whatever I decide to write at three in the morning never turns out as well as I think it does. And Microsoft Word trying to “fix” my grammar isn’t going to help. (Apparently, think should have an s at the end in the previous sentence. Yay computer grammar!)
But anyways, I’ve been watching some anime lately, and this fic stemmed off of a concept from one of them (not gonna tell you yet). I also have no idea what to call it, so any ideas are appreciated. :)
So here you go, something I threw together that probably isn’t very good (might as well apologize in advance...*Aurey Pokémon voice* I sowy guys, would you like a cookie?
~~ThisisalinebreaksoIhopeyoudidn’ttrytoreadit:P~~
“Aurey, your answer to the question, please?”
At the sound of her name, she snapped her neck up, looking at the teacher. Her bright, emerald green eyes focused on the dark ones staring back at her from the front of the classroom. The man had his arms folded. He was tapping his foot impatiently, the corners of his mouth turned down in a frown.
“Well?” He asked again, a hint of annoyance in his voice as he did.
“Um, what was the question again?” Aurey asked. Oh great, she thought, I’ve only been going to this school for a week, and one of my teachers already hates me. She heard a couple small giggles from other students.
This wasn’t the first time she had zoned out in class, and it likely wouldn’t be the last. Especially in Mr. Bone’s class, as what he taught was extremely boring, in Aurey’s opinion at least. She liked spending her time locked inside her own little world within her mind, and would choose the place abundant with rainbows and unicorns over learning the basics of crafting with stone any day.
Mr. Bone sighed as he turned away from her, repeating the question to another student, who provided a long, lengthy explanation that was clearly read from well-written notes.
Once she felt that Mr. Bone had shifted his focus away from her, she looked down at her doodle-filled paper. For the first few lines were notes, proof of her attempt at listening, but covering the rest of the paper were cutesy drawings.
Long, wide white stripes lined the margins of the paper (they were supposed to be rainbows, but only so much can be done with just a pink pen). Small puffy clouds separated each one at the corners of the paper.
Further down, small stick-legged creatures dotted the paper, small dashes sticking out of their heads, somewhat resembling unicorns. They surrounded one larger unicorn, which was drawn with more detail. It was positioned in a trot. Mounted on its back was a girl, her hair flying back behind her, a large smile on her face.
She began to add a cape to the girl, making a mental note to add real color to the drawing when she got a chance. As she moved to add shoes, someone brushed up against her shoulder. She heard a sharp gasp and looked up.
“Hmm?” She looked questioningly to her side, and her eyes met the green goggles of one of her classmates, Vechs she believed his name was. Small tendrils of black hair stuck out from under his red hard hat.
The worried look faded from his face, and he mumbled out a response as he quickly walked by.
“S-Sorry.” She stared as he hurried out of the room, and it was only when he left that she noticed she was alone in the room, apart from Mr. Bone.
She shoved her paper into a folder, which was overflowing with other doodling sheets, quickly walking out of the door.
The hallways were already clearing as people made their way into classrooms, so getting to her locker wasn’t as much of a fight as it normally was.
Aurey quickly entered the combination to her lock, making an angry grunt to herself when she pulled up on the latch and the locker stayed shut. She reentered the combination, this time successfully opening the locker.
She threw the folder into it, quickly grabbing her “History of Minecraft” textbook, slamming the metal door shut with a loud clang once she did.
The hallway traffic was quickly thinning out, and Aurey began walking towards the direction of her next class.
Everyone who was still in the hall, including Aurey, quickened their pace when the warning bell was rung, signaling they had one minute before they were tardy. She turned a corner, entering a completely empty hallway. She sped up even more, close to running along the tile flooring.
She turned another sharp corner, and as soon as she did, she was sent flying backwards, her momentum from falling sending her back around the corner. Her book flew out of her arms, landing face down beside her.
Aurey stood up, brushing the dirt from her white dress, smoothing it out when she had finished. She bent down to pick up her book, peeking around the corner, a small gasp escaping her mouth at what she found.
A red t-shirt lay on the floor, a pair of gray cargo pants under it. Where the pants ended, two dark gray, almost black boots started, lying on their sides. A pair of dark green goggles lay at the neck of the shirt, and right above them was a red helmet.
She had obviously run into the same person she had a few minutes ago, but they had suddenly vanished, their clothes laid out on the floor, as if they just laid down and evaporated into nothingness.
As Aurey stared at the garments, eying them up and down, a slight movement caught her eye. She couldn’t be sure, but she thought the red hat inched forward. Within a few seconds, it moved forwards again, and Aurey jumped back, muffling a shriek with her hand.
The “ghost” hat inched forward again, this time with a small hop, coming off the ground ever so slightly. She took another step back, her knees quaking.
They gave way as the red helmet moved forward, the rim of the hat hitting the goggles. With one more hop, the hat flew a few inches more into the air, coming down onto a small piece of black that had appeared, presumably from under the hat. A small strained squeak came from the hat when it landed.
Aurey stared at it in terror, her shoulders beginning to tremble. With one final push, the hat flew backwards, revealing the small creature that was under it.
The bat squeaked again, and curiosity filled Aurey’s face, chasing the fear away momentarily. It returned immediately when she screamed, and she darted behind the corner again.
She pulled her knees close to her, letting out a small whimper when the bat hopped around the corner and faced her, repeating what it had said before she screamed.
“Hey, are you okay?”
~~ThisisanotherlinebreaksoIhopeyoudidn’ttrytoreadit:P~~
Originally wasn’t planning on telling you it was a bat, but I did ‘cause why not. So yeah, for anyone who wants to know, the anime I got the idea from is Fruits Basket. Now I feel tempted to write an Attack on Titan one, hmm...
Also, it feels weird spacing it out every few sentences, so used to writing jumbo 10+ sentence word walls (paragraphs) for school, but I don't like the way it looks, so Imma try and get out of that habit. :)
Gah, I really haven’t learned my lesson that whatever I decide to write at three in the morning never turns out as well as I think it does. And Microsoft Word trying to “fix” my grammar isn’t going to help. (Apparently, think should have an s at the end in the previous sentence. Yay computer grammar!)
But anyways, I’ve been watching some anime lately, and this fic stemmed off of a concept from one of them (not gonna tell you yet). I also have no idea what to call it, so any ideas are appreciated. :)
So here you go, something I threw together that probably isn’t very good (might as well apologize in advance...*Aurey Pokémon voice* I sowy guys, would you like a cookie?
~~ThisisalinebreaksoIhopeyoudidn’ttrytoreadit:P~~
“Aurey, your answer to the question, please?”
At the sound of her name, she snapped her neck up, looking at the teacher. Her bright, emerald green eyes focused on the dark ones staring back at her from the front of the classroom. The man had his arms folded. He was tapping his foot impatiently, the corners of his mouth turned down in a frown.
“Well?” He asked again, a hint of annoyance in his voice as he did.
“Um, what was the question again?” Aurey asked. Oh great, she thought, I’ve only been going to this school for a week, and one of my teachers already hates me. She heard a couple small giggles from other students.
This wasn’t the first time she had zoned out in class, and it likely wouldn’t be the last. Especially in Mr. Bone’s class, as what he taught was extremely boring, in Aurey’s opinion at least. She liked spending her time locked inside her own little world within her mind, and would choose the place abundant with rainbows and unicorns over learning the basics of crafting with stone any day.
Mr. Bone sighed as he turned away from her, repeating the question to another student, who provided a long, lengthy explanation that was clearly read from well-written notes.
Once she felt that Mr. Bone had shifted his focus away from her, she looked down at her doodle-filled paper. For the first few lines were notes, proof of her attempt at listening, but covering the rest of the paper were cutesy drawings.
Long, wide white stripes lined the margins of the paper (they were supposed to be rainbows, but only so much can be done with just a pink pen). Small puffy clouds separated each one at the corners of the paper.
Further down, small stick-legged creatures dotted the paper, small dashes sticking out of their heads, somewhat resembling unicorns. They surrounded one larger unicorn, which was drawn with more detail. It was positioned in a trot. Mounted on its back was a girl, her hair flying back behind her, a large smile on her face.
She began to add a cape to the girl, making a mental note to add real color to the drawing when she got a chance. As she moved to add shoes, someone brushed up against her shoulder. She heard a sharp gasp and looked up.
“Hmm?” She looked questioningly to her side, and her eyes met the green goggles of one of her classmates, Vechs she believed his name was. Small tendrils of black hair stuck out from under his red hard hat.
The worried look faded from his face, and he mumbled out a response as he quickly walked by.
“S-Sorry.” She stared as he hurried out of the room, and it was only when he left that she noticed she was alone in the room, apart from Mr. Bone.
She shoved her paper into a folder, which was overflowing with other doodling sheets, quickly walking out of the door.
The hallways were already clearing as people made their way into classrooms, so getting to her locker wasn’t as much of a fight as it normally was.
Aurey quickly entered the combination to her lock, making an angry grunt to herself when she pulled up on the latch and the locker stayed shut. She reentered the combination, this time successfully opening the locker.
She threw the folder into it, quickly grabbing her “History of Minecraft” textbook, slamming the metal door shut with a loud clang once she did.
The hallway traffic was quickly thinning out, and Aurey began walking towards the direction of her next class.
Everyone who was still in the hall, including Aurey, quickened their pace when the warning bell was rung, signaling they had one minute before they were tardy. She turned a corner, entering a completely empty hallway. She sped up even more, close to running along the tile flooring.
She turned another sharp corner, and as soon as she did, she was sent flying backwards, her momentum from falling sending her back around the corner. Her book flew out of her arms, landing face down beside her.
Aurey stood up, brushing the dirt from her white dress, smoothing it out when she had finished. She bent down to pick up her book, peeking around the corner, a small gasp escaping her mouth at what she found.
A red t-shirt lay on the floor, a pair of gray cargo pants under it. Where the pants ended, two dark gray, almost black boots started, lying on their sides. A pair of dark green goggles lay at the neck of the shirt, and right above them was a red helmet.
She had obviously run into the same person she had a few minutes ago, but they had suddenly vanished, their clothes laid out on the floor, as if they just laid down and evaporated into nothingness.
As Aurey stared at the garments, eying them up and down, a slight movement caught her eye. She couldn’t be sure, but she thought the red hat inched forward. Within a few seconds, it moved forwards again, and Aurey jumped back, muffling a shriek with her hand.
The “ghost” hat inched forward again, this time with a small hop, coming off the ground ever so slightly. She took another step back, her knees quaking.
They gave way as the red helmet moved forward, the rim of the hat hitting the goggles. With one more hop, the hat flew a few inches more into the air, coming down onto a small piece of black that had appeared, presumably from under the hat. A small strained squeak came from the hat when it landed.
Aurey stared at it in terror, her shoulders beginning to tremble. With one final push, the hat flew backwards, revealing the small creature that was under it.
The bat squeaked again, and curiosity filled Aurey’s face, chasing the fear away momentarily. It returned immediately when she screamed, and she darted behind the corner again.
She pulled her knees close to her, letting out a small whimper when the bat hopped around the corner and faced her, repeating what it had said before she screamed.
“Hey, are you okay?”
~~ThisisanotherlinebreaksoIhopeyoudidn’ttrytoreadit:P~~
Originally wasn’t planning on telling you it was a bat, but I did ‘cause why not. So yeah, for anyone who wants to know, the anime I got the idea from is Fruits Basket. Now I feel tempted to write an Attack on Titan one, hmm...
Also, it feels weird spacing it out every few sentences, so used to writing jumbo 10+ sentence word walls (paragraphs) for school, but I don't like the way it looks, so Imma try and get out of that habit. :)
no subject
Date: Friday, August 15th, 2014 12:44 pm (UTC)And please do an Attack on Titan fic! I've bee wanting one since watching the anime and seeing the crossover art!
Edit: Since the name of the anime is "Fruit Basket" why not name the fic "Fruit Bat"?
no subject
Date: Friday, August 15th, 2014 03:24 pm (UTC)Hmm, Fruit Bat isn't bad, I just plan on adding other Mindcrackers/animals, though Vechs will be one of the main ones...
The spoilers. :3
no subject
Date: Friday, August 15th, 2014 03:58 pm (UTC)And here: http://attackonmindcrack.tumblr.com/
no subject
Date: Friday, August 15th, 2014 05:16 pm (UTC)Edit: Just found out Vechs watches Attack on Titan... :3
no subject
Date: Saturday, August 16th, 2014 12:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, August 16th, 2014 02:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 15th, 2014 12:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 15th, 2014 03:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, August 15th, 2014 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, August 16th, 2014 12:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, August 16th, 2014 04:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, August 16th, 2014 05:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Sunday, September 7th, 2014 03:33 am (UTC)Also, as some constructive criticism, while you shroud not be doing the ten sentence blocks, you also should have longer ones than you currently are. The en-mass paragraphs are not only hard harder to read, but they can also lead to more confusion, as linked ideas are exasperated. Try about halfway in between what you do for school and this.
(Sorry for the very late reply, I'm doing my giant salad catch-up.)