Nebtho: So be It
Thursday, July 10th, 2014 01:09 amThis is the requested second part of Part of Him, sorry but it doesn't end much better than the first
(I'm not really that sorry)
There was a piece of paper waiting on Nebris' desk when he went into work after the weekend.
"Debriefing in my office. Come quickly." Even on paper, it sounded condescending. There was no signature but this sort of thing was routine and Nebris knew where he was expected to be. He sighed and put his jacket down, leaving the room before he had a chance to really enter. The commander's office was only a few doors down the plain hallway and when Nebris entered there were already ten people in there. A hush fell over the room and he pretended not to notice.
"Now we may begin. Pause and Nebris will lead a team of four each into the home of Mr. Etho Slab." Nebris didn't breathe. Commander Vechs continued talking but his eyes were trained on Nebris, waiting for a reaction. Nebris drew a silent shaky breath and nodded, so be it. He received a nod in return. "I expect him brought here alive, whether or not he's injured, I could care less. Move out."
For once Nebris was glad for the rumors about his fondness for Etho, he was avoided by everyone on their way out and just maybe they wouldn't hurt Etho if they knew Nebris was watching. Which was probably the exact reason Nebris was leading the second team. If all went as planned he would never even need to enter the house. He hoped they knew, nothing with Etho ever went as planned.
They walked silently as a group to the stables. What a great team they were, though he shouldn't be one to talk, he didn't try to start a conversation either. They saddled the horses and were off. Nebris tried very hard to not think about what he was about to do.
When they reached the location, a quaint little home on a mountain, Pause's group dismounted, walked up to the door, and knocked. They had that least be able to say that they tried to be civil. No one answered, Nebris could have told them that much. They pushed the door open and stepped inside. Moments later Nebris heard the shrill call of the whistle, they needed back up. Had they expected Etho to just give up? Nebris' troops vaulted from their horses and ran to the door.
Nebris entered the house in the midst of his troops and saw exactly what he had expected. Etho, graceful even in the midst of battle, fighting Pause. They were surrounded by the dead bodies of Pause's men. Nebris and his troops entered the fray but Etho still had the upper hand. He was dancing around the room, faster and deadlier. Pause and two of Nebris' men were dead before Nebris even had time to draw his sword. Etho turned and swung, blade arching above Nebris head, coming down fast, then recognition lit his eyes. The smile beneath his mask faltered and fell. When their swords clashed there was no fight behind Etho's.
Nebris felt it as they fought, Etho was giving up ground. He continued to fight, but he was slower now and he had switched solely to defense. Nebris pinned his arms to wall. He didn't struggle, just dropped his sword and gave up. Etho leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. His body sagged, until Nebris was nearly holding him up.
Nebris' throat constricted, it pained him to see Etho giving up, accepting his fate, everything that made him who he was gone. In that moment all Nebris wanted was for Etho to wrap him up in a hug, to tease him, and love him. Etho didn't move, for all that it mattered.
"Etho?" His voice was tiny, barely a whisper and it cracked when he spoke. Etho opened his eyes but they were dull, void of light that Nebris had grown to love. And it was his fault.
He was reason Etho gave up, to protect him and he was repaying him by letting his men handcuff him and drag him away. He stepped away, cringing as he heard Etho stumble without his support.
He stepped out the door and around the corner. He leaned against the side of the house, which he knew better than he would ever let up on, and for a moment let sobs wrack his body, tears streaming down his face. He could have fought with Etho back there, the two of them could have easily taken out his last two men and then they could have run off together. Instead he had chosen for- and helped- the love of his life to be captured.
He forced himself to take a step towards his horse and nearly fell as his legs shook. He steadied himself and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Walking numbly to his horse and mounting, he watched as they walked Etho out of the building. His head was hung and they had to prod him with their swords to get him to walk faster. Nebris looked away.
~~~
Nebris didn't report when they got back. He should of, but he couldn't force himself. His eyes were red and puffy, he couldn't think straight, and in his current mood he would likely punch anyone he saw in the face.
He was called- requested- to the office three times. He didn't go, instead he laid in bed (he only went home on the weekends) and stared at the ceiling. It was off-white. He was beating himself up, knowing that Etho was alone in a cell, soon to be questioned. Worrying about that didn't leave much time for reflecting, but Nebris managed to tear apart every mistake he ever made multiple times.
He was left alone for a day, they left a meal in front of his door at the appropriate times. He tried to eat. The only thing on his mind was Etho in a prison cell. He suddenly couldn't remember how much they fed the prisoners or how often. He didn't eat the rest of the day.
He couldn't sleep, though he ought to have suspected that that would be the case.
There was a knock on his door the next day, no one entered or spoke. The only sign that anyone had been there at all was a slip of paper, slid under his door with the message "Interrogating the prisoner in 5 minutes, room C." Nebris was up moments later. He mindlessly fixed his hair and beard, if only to pretend that he was presentable. He still felt terrible and probably looked that way, too. When he entered the viewing room for the interrogation he half expected Etho to look the same.
Etho looked fine.
Good even.
As handsome as ever.
His hair was brushed, although still all over the place, they had taken his mask and head band, he even looked relaxed. There was a smugness to his face that came from knowing he could take out the entire room in combat, all at once, maybe even while in handcuffs.
While Nebris was glad that Etho was okay, the fact that Etho was handling the entire situation far better than himself made him feel even worse. Then Vechs entered the room. He walked right up to Etho and spoke directly into his ear. His words were whispered and inaudible through the one way glass separating the two rooms. When he was finished, he left. Nebris looked back to Etho and the sudden change in attitude was horribly apparent. All his smugness was gone, his head fell, and his eyes glazed over.
Nebris barely noticed when Guude walked in, sat across the table from Etho, and started firing off questions. Nebris was solely focused on Etho. He gave up the answers without a fight. Ratting out locations and associates without only momentary hesitation. It took all of Nebris' self control to keep himself sitting and not running to Etho's side, screaming at everyone to leave him be. The thought never left his mind that he could have prevented all of this.
Guude left the room and who ever was beside Nebris spoke.
"If anyone has any further questions, speak now." Nebris had no idea what had been asked but it was safe to assume that Etho had no secrets left. It didn't matter to Nebris, he got up and entered the room. Nobody stopped him, though they probably should have. There was a flair of recognition in Etho's eyes when Nebris entered the room, it was gone moments later.
"What did the commander tell you?" Etho was strong, independent, and the smartest man Nebris knew. No one's words should of been able to affect him that much.
"Please, don't ask," his eyes were pleading and if Nebris didn't know better, he would say that they were on the verge of tears.
"Etho, I'm sorry." Nebris knew that people were watching but in that moment all that mattered was making sure Etho knew that he didn't want this.
"No, I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew it would eventually come down to this. It's just- part of me of always hoped that when it happened I wouldn't be fighting alone." It was as close as it got to an accusation, but he didn't look angry, just hurt. Somehow, that made Nebris feel worse.
He stood numbly and left, at a loss for words and what to do. As people exited the viewing room they stared at him and Nebris didn't blame them. That nearly proved all their the rumors. Etho was led out of the room, hands behind his back, head hung and anger surged through Nebris' veins. He looked so broken. How dare they. He burst into the Vechs's office, the door slamming into the wall with enough force to shake the paintings. Vechs didn't even look up from petting his cat.
"What did you tell Etho?" It wasn't a question, it was a demand. His voice strained with anger.
"I said if he didn't speak and tell the truth we would hurt you, and if tried he tried to escape we would kill you. You make an excellent bargaining tool, you know. I ought to keep that in mind. Maybe I could see it in me to forgive your relationship with the enemy if you say it meant nothing and it was all a scheme, orchestrated by me of course, hmm?" He said it all matter-of-factly then looked up, daring him to deny his love for Etho.
He could do it, he was a good enough liar and he doubted Vechs actually cared if he meant it.
Except he did love Etho. Etho was always on his mind. Even as he cursed at himself for falling love, he would do it all over again. He thought of Etho in the interrogation room, telling all his secrets and hiding the reason just to protect him.
Before Nebris could think he punched Vechs square in the face then ran out of the room. He had no idea what he was doing, the only thing on his mind was Etho and everything Etho had done for him. Nebris didn't matter to Commander Vechs, but he mattered to Etho and Etho mattered to him.
He stormed down hallways, running around corners and shoving past people. His feet beat steadily into the hard floor. He took the stairs down to the cells two at a time, stopping only briefly to grab a set of keys from the guard room. He was watched with hidden curiosity, people peeking out of the corner of their eyes, but it didn't matter, he didn't plan on being around here for much longer anyway. When he reached the bottom landing he heard voices. He stopped and caught his breath, then proceeded quietly towards them, listening.
"-doesn't love you, he never loved you. The commander put him up to it. It was all a scheme. Face it, we would have never captured you if it weren't for him and you would have never spilled your secrets if we hadn't threatened him. And yet you still won't try to escape, cause if you did we would kill him, cause you still love him, even though he never loved you. Did you think he would ever love you? How pathetic."
Nebris could have sworn he heard the guard spit. He didn't wait until the guard had rounded the corner to hit him in the temple, hard enough to knock him out, but not hard enough to kill him, barely. Tears were streaming down Nebris' face when he turned to look at Etho. He was sitting on the ground against the far wall. He wasn't crying, his eyes were glazed over with the same look of forced acceptance that Nebris had seen too much of. Nebris unlocked the cell and rushed forward, wrapping his arms around Etho and sobbing into his chest.
"What he said is a lie. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I love you, This wasn't a scheme, just me. Etho, I love you."
Etho didn't say a word or move to hold Nebris. Nebris leaned back and searched Etho's eyes for the forgiveness he had always thought would be there when he needed it. Etho didn't even look at him.
"Etho look at me, please." His voice was so small, pleading. Their eyes locked and Nebris saw hate. Suddenly, seeing that Nebris knew that his losing his job could never hurt more than seeing the one person he loves look at him with hate. "I love you, I always loved you. I made the wrong choice, siding with this place and I'll never make that mistake again. I love you, please believe me." Every time he could have run off with Etho came to mind, every time he was so close, if only he knew then what he knew now.
Etho didn't say word.
"How can I prove that to you?" Nebris would do anything.
"Leave me alone." Please not that. Anything but that. Give up everything he wanted, to prove that it was everything he wanted. Etho didn't falter. So be it. He nodded glumly.
"Just one last thing." Nebris gave Etho a final hug. He could survive leaving Etho, if Etho would just give him one last hug. Etho didn't. Nebris kissed him anyway. He closed his eyes, trying to remember what kissing Etho used to feel like. It killed him that Etho didn't move, but it was most likely the last kiss he'd ever get, so he accepted it. He stepped away. "I'll never regret falling in love with you, but I do regret not telling you that sooner.
"I love you." If he never saw Etho again, let those be the last words between them.
He wiped the tears from his eyes, though more replaced them almost instantly. He dropped the keys at Etho's feet and left, turning to look back every few seconds. Part of him hoping Etho was following and all of him knowing he wasn't.
(Etho cursed when he learned that Nebris had left for good)
(because it proved so much, and left him with so little)
(I'm not really that sorry)
There was a piece of paper waiting on Nebris' desk when he went into work after the weekend.
"Debriefing in my office. Come quickly." Even on paper, it sounded condescending. There was no signature but this sort of thing was routine and Nebris knew where he was expected to be. He sighed and put his jacket down, leaving the room before he had a chance to really enter. The commander's office was only a few doors down the plain hallway and when Nebris entered there were already ten people in there. A hush fell over the room and he pretended not to notice.
"Now we may begin. Pause and Nebris will lead a team of four each into the home of Mr. Etho Slab." Nebris didn't breathe. Commander Vechs continued talking but his eyes were trained on Nebris, waiting for a reaction. Nebris drew a silent shaky breath and nodded, so be it. He received a nod in return. "I expect him brought here alive, whether or not he's injured, I could care less. Move out."
For once Nebris was glad for the rumors about his fondness for Etho, he was avoided by everyone on their way out and just maybe they wouldn't hurt Etho if they knew Nebris was watching. Which was probably the exact reason Nebris was leading the second team. If all went as planned he would never even need to enter the house. He hoped they knew, nothing with Etho ever went as planned.
They walked silently as a group to the stables. What a great team they were, though he shouldn't be one to talk, he didn't try to start a conversation either. They saddled the horses and were off. Nebris tried very hard to not think about what he was about to do.
When they reached the location, a quaint little home on a mountain, Pause's group dismounted, walked up to the door, and knocked. They had that least be able to say that they tried to be civil. No one answered, Nebris could have told them that much. They pushed the door open and stepped inside. Moments later Nebris heard the shrill call of the whistle, they needed back up. Had they expected Etho to just give up? Nebris' troops vaulted from their horses and ran to the door.
Nebris entered the house in the midst of his troops and saw exactly what he had expected. Etho, graceful even in the midst of battle, fighting Pause. They were surrounded by the dead bodies of Pause's men. Nebris and his troops entered the fray but Etho still had the upper hand. He was dancing around the room, faster and deadlier. Pause and two of Nebris' men were dead before Nebris even had time to draw his sword. Etho turned and swung, blade arching above Nebris head, coming down fast, then recognition lit his eyes. The smile beneath his mask faltered and fell. When their swords clashed there was no fight behind Etho's.
Nebris felt it as they fought, Etho was giving up ground. He continued to fight, but he was slower now and he had switched solely to defense. Nebris pinned his arms to wall. He didn't struggle, just dropped his sword and gave up. Etho leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. His body sagged, until Nebris was nearly holding him up.
Nebris' throat constricted, it pained him to see Etho giving up, accepting his fate, everything that made him who he was gone. In that moment all Nebris wanted was for Etho to wrap him up in a hug, to tease him, and love him. Etho didn't move, for all that it mattered.
"Etho?" His voice was tiny, barely a whisper and it cracked when he spoke. Etho opened his eyes but they were dull, void of light that Nebris had grown to love. And it was his fault.
He was reason Etho gave up, to protect him and he was repaying him by letting his men handcuff him and drag him away. He stepped away, cringing as he heard Etho stumble without his support.
He stepped out the door and around the corner. He leaned against the side of the house, which he knew better than he would ever let up on, and for a moment let sobs wrack his body, tears streaming down his face. He could have fought with Etho back there, the two of them could have easily taken out his last two men and then they could have run off together. Instead he had chosen for- and helped- the love of his life to be captured.
He forced himself to take a step towards his horse and nearly fell as his legs shook. He steadied himself and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Walking numbly to his horse and mounting, he watched as they walked Etho out of the building. His head was hung and they had to prod him with their swords to get him to walk faster. Nebris looked away.
~~~
Nebris didn't report when they got back. He should of, but he couldn't force himself. His eyes were red and puffy, he couldn't think straight, and in his current mood he would likely punch anyone he saw in the face.
He was called- requested- to the office three times. He didn't go, instead he laid in bed (he only went home on the weekends) and stared at the ceiling. It was off-white. He was beating himself up, knowing that Etho was alone in a cell, soon to be questioned. Worrying about that didn't leave much time for reflecting, but Nebris managed to tear apart every mistake he ever made multiple times.
He was left alone for a day, they left a meal in front of his door at the appropriate times. He tried to eat. The only thing on his mind was Etho in a prison cell. He suddenly couldn't remember how much they fed the prisoners or how often. He didn't eat the rest of the day.
He couldn't sleep, though he ought to have suspected that that would be the case.
There was a knock on his door the next day, no one entered or spoke. The only sign that anyone had been there at all was a slip of paper, slid under his door with the message "Interrogating the prisoner in 5 minutes, room C." Nebris was up moments later. He mindlessly fixed his hair and beard, if only to pretend that he was presentable. He still felt terrible and probably looked that way, too. When he entered the viewing room for the interrogation he half expected Etho to look the same.
Etho looked fine.
Good even.
As handsome as ever.
His hair was brushed, although still all over the place, they had taken his mask and head band, he even looked relaxed. There was a smugness to his face that came from knowing he could take out the entire room in combat, all at once, maybe even while in handcuffs.
While Nebris was glad that Etho was okay, the fact that Etho was handling the entire situation far better than himself made him feel even worse. Then Vechs entered the room. He walked right up to Etho and spoke directly into his ear. His words were whispered and inaudible through the one way glass separating the two rooms. When he was finished, he left. Nebris looked back to Etho and the sudden change in attitude was horribly apparent. All his smugness was gone, his head fell, and his eyes glazed over.
Nebris barely noticed when Guude walked in, sat across the table from Etho, and started firing off questions. Nebris was solely focused on Etho. He gave up the answers without a fight. Ratting out locations and associates without only momentary hesitation. It took all of Nebris' self control to keep himself sitting and not running to Etho's side, screaming at everyone to leave him be. The thought never left his mind that he could have prevented all of this.
Guude left the room and who ever was beside Nebris spoke.
"If anyone has any further questions, speak now." Nebris had no idea what had been asked but it was safe to assume that Etho had no secrets left. It didn't matter to Nebris, he got up and entered the room. Nobody stopped him, though they probably should have. There was a flair of recognition in Etho's eyes when Nebris entered the room, it was gone moments later.
"What did the commander tell you?" Etho was strong, independent, and the smartest man Nebris knew. No one's words should of been able to affect him that much.
"Please, don't ask," his eyes were pleading and if Nebris didn't know better, he would say that they were on the verge of tears.
"Etho, I'm sorry." Nebris knew that people were watching but in that moment all that mattered was making sure Etho knew that he didn't want this.
"No, I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew it would eventually come down to this. It's just- part of me of always hoped that when it happened I wouldn't be fighting alone." It was as close as it got to an accusation, but he didn't look angry, just hurt. Somehow, that made Nebris feel worse.
He stood numbly and left, at a loss for words and what to do. As people exited the viewing room they stared at him and Nebris didn't blame them. That nearly proved all their the rumors. Etho was led out of the room, hands behind his back, head hung and anger surged through Nebris' veins. He looked so broken. How dare they. He burst into the Vechs's office, the door slamming into the wall with enough force to shake the paintings. Vechs didn't even look up from petting his cat.
"What did you tell Etho?" It wasn't a question, it was a demand. His voice strained with anger.
"I said if he didn't speak and tell the truth we would hurt you, and if tried he tried to escape we would kill you. You make an excellent bargaining tool, you know. I ought to keep that in mind. Maybe I could see it in me to forgive your relationship with the enemy if you say it meant nothing and it was all a scheme, orchestrated by me of course, hmm?" He said it all matter-of-factly then looked up, daring him to deny his love for Etho.
He could do it, he was a good enough liar and he doubted Vechs actually cared if he meant it.
Except he did love Etho. Etho was always on his mind. Even as he cursed at himself for falling love, he would do it all over again. He thought of Etho in the interrogation room, telling all his secrets and hiding the reason just to protect him.
Before Nebris could think he punched Vechs square in the face then ran out of the room. He had no idea what he was doing, the only thing on his mind was Etho and everything Etho had done for him. Nebris didn't matter to Commander Vechs, but he mattered to Etho and Etho mattered to him.
He stormed down hallways, running around corners and shoving past people. His feet beat steadily into the hard floor. He took the stairs down to the cells two at a time, stopping only briefly to grab a set of keys from the guard room. He was watched with hidden curiosity, people peeking out of the corner of their eyes, but it didn't matter, he didn't plan on being around here for much longer anyway. When he reached the bottom landing he heard voices. He stopped and caught his breath, then proceeded quietly towards them, listening.
"-doesn't love you, he never loved you. The commander put him up to it. It was all a scheme. Face it, we would have never captured you if it weren't for him and you would have never spilled your secrets if we hadn't threatened him. And yet you still won't try to escape, cause if you did we would kill him, cause you still love him, even though he never loved you. Did you think he would ever love you? How pathetic."
Nebris could have sworn he heard the guard spit. He didn't wait until the guard had rounded the corner to hit him in the temple, hard enough to knock him out, but not hard enough to kill him, barely. Tears were streaming down Nebris' face when he turned to look at Etho. He was sitting on the ground against the far wall. He wasn't crying, his eyes were glazed over with the same look of forced acceptance that Nebris had seen too much of. Nebris unlocked the cell and rushed forward, wrapping his arms around Etho and sobbing into his chest.
"What he said is a lie. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I love you, This wasn't a scheme, just me. Etho, I love you."
Etho didn't say a word or move to hold Nebris. Nebris leaned back and searched Etho's eyes for the forgiveness he had always thought would be there when he needed it. Etho didn't even look at him.
"Etho look at me, please." His voice was so small, pleading. Their eyes locked and Nebris saw hate. Suddenly, seeing that Nebris knew that his losing his job could never hurt more than seeing the one person he loves look at him with hate. "I love you, I always loved you. I made the wrong choice, siding with this place and I'll never make that mistake again. I love you, please believe me." Every time he could have run off with Etho came to mind, every time he was so close, if only he knew then what he knew now.
Etho didn't say word.
"How can I prove that to you?" Nebris would do anything.
"Leave me alone." Please not that. Anything but that. Give up everything he wanted, to prove that it was everything he wanted. Etho didn't falter. So be it. He nodded glumly.
"Just one last thing." Nebris gave Etho a final hug. He could survive leaving Etho, if Etho would just give him one last hug. Etho didn't. Nebris kissed him anyway. He closed his eyes, trying to remember what kissing Etho used to feel like. It killed him that Etho didn't move, but it was most likely the last kiss he'd ever get, so he accepted it. He stepped away. "I'll never regret falling in love with you, but I do regret not telling you that sooner.
"I love you." If he never saw Etho again, let those be the last words between them.
He wiped the tears from his eyes, though more replaced them almost instantly. He dropped the keys at Etho's feet and left, turning to look back every few seconds. Part of him hoping Etho was following and all of him knowing he wasn't.
(Etho cursed when he learned that Nebris had left for good)
(because it proved so much, and left him with so little)
no subject
Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 06:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 07:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 08:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 08:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 08:22 am (UTC)Also I realize that you were joking. I probably was being excessive, but I've been deprived of internet for most of today, plus this story is gooooood
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Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 08:26 am (UTC)Ah, internet deprivation. I understand now, and forgive you of ALL mistakes made today ;). (I figured you did, I just wanted to be sure... I'm a careful person(most of the time))
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Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 08:44 am (UTC)But I also have noticed that the comments always ends up with one of us (occasionally other people) starting something in the comments of a story and we just go on tangents that are slightly related to the original post until we move on and read something else or sometimes it just goes on and on.
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Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 08:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 04:52 pm (UTC)*gives you a hug and promises to write more*
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Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 05:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 06:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 04:59 pm (UTC)Okay I'm a little proud
<3
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Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 07:55 am (UTC)However, the last two lines dont make sense to me... If Etho still loved Nebris, then why did he leave in the first place on such clear terms?
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Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 04:47 pm (UTC)Does that make sense?
And Thanks :D
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Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 08:46 pm (UTC)Etho left (at the end of the chapter in the cell) because he thought Nebris had left him, And after that Nebris actually left because he thought that Etho had rejected him.... Or at least that's what I can glean form the story.... did something else happen?
Also, you're welcome :)
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Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 09:19 pm (UTC)Am I over complicating this?
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Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 09:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 04:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 09:51 am (UTC)Why must. You hurt my feels????
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Date: Thursday, July 10th, 2014 04:49 pm (UTC)Thanks, I'll try to write a happy ending soon
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Date: Friday, July 11th, 2014 04:05 pm (UTC)Thank you :'( good job!
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Date: Saturday, July 26th, 2014 03:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, July 26th, 2014 03:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, July 26th, 2014 03:51 am (UTC)