The Moose [Prompt Swap]

[jiminee]

 For the prompt swap, I was assigned curlycue. I chose this prompt:

- Pause wakes up with a moose in his bed. (referenced from the Canada Stereotypes prank on Adlington, here.)

 

Pauseunpause woke up on Sunday morning with a pounding headache and a stale taste in his throat. He sniffed, eyes still closed. There was somebody in his bed, and they smelt nasty. Pause was used to waking up with strangers in his bed after a night of drinking, but this person smelt like… a moose?!
Pause had opened his eyes to the startling view of an enormous, hairy moose sprawled on his bed. The creature appeared to be asleep. Pause leapt out of bed. There were about a million questions swirling around his aching head, none of them particularly pleasant. He rushed to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, then steadied himself on the kitchen counter and wondered what to do.
Maybe it was a prank. He decided to call his friends and ask them about the moose. Pulling out his phone, he dialled Beef’s number.
“Hello?”
“Hello, uh… Beef?”
“What?”
“There is a moose in my house. In my bed. Do you know anything about this?”
Beef laughed. “No, you’re kidding, right? A moose?”
“It’s not funny, Beef. The thing could wake up at any moment and… I’m scared. Can you come over and help me get it out?”
“How did a moose get in your bed?”
“No idea. I was really fucking drunk last night.”
“Oh man! Ok, I’ll come over. Maybe you should ring Etho too. How big is it?”
“Pretty huge. Thanks man, see ya soon.”
“Yeah, see you. Hopefully it doesn’t wake up…”
Pause called Etho next.
“Hey, Pause.”
“Hey dude. Listen, is it ok if you like, come over to my house? I have a problem.”
“What’s that?”
“Umm, a moose. In my house.”
“A moose?”
“Yeah. Beef is coming over, but it might take three of us to… wrangle it.”
“Uh, sure I can come over.”
“Thanks, man.”

When Etho and Beef arrived at Pause’s house, the moose was still asleep. Pause made them creep quietly into his bedroom where they stared at the slumbering beast.
“It’s really big. Do you think we should wake it?” said Etho.
“No, I don’t want that thing awake. It’s already left hoofmarks all over my carpet,” Pause hissed indignantly.
“We should name it,” said Beef. “Marvin? Hey, Marvin! Marvin the moose.”
“You can’t get attached to it. It’s going to be gone soon.” Pause said.
Beef snorted. “Don’t tell me not to get attached to him, I’m not the one who spent a night with it in my bed.”
“Oh my gosh you guys, we didn’t even do anything!” Pause protested.
“You’re going red,” Beef snickered.
“Fuck off. I don’t know how it got there, but whatever you’re implying did not happen.”
“Sure it didn’t.”
“Guys, let’s just try to get this thing outside.” Etho interrupted.
“Marvin.” Beef said indignantly.
“Surely we can lift it,” Pause said.
They positioned themselves around the creature, and on a count of three, tried to lift the moose. But no matter how hard they tried, the three Canadians were not strong enough to budge it.
Finally, Pause agreed to wake it, after repeated insistence from Etho and Beef.
“Ok, fine. Go and wake it.” Pause sighed.
“You do it,” Beef said to Etho.
“No way, that thing looks dangerous! You wake it, since you slept with it,” Etho said to Pause.
“It was your idea Etho. You do it,” Pause said.
Etho held his breath and crept up to the moose. “How do I do this?”
“I dunno. Poke him. Bellow in his ear.” Beef suggested.
Etho prodded the creature tentatively, but it didn’t wake. He slapped its side gently, but nothing happened.
“Oh stop Etho, you’re too gentle,” Pause said, elbowing him out of the way. He gave the moose a hearty thump with his fist, which was finally enough to wake it. The creature lifted its heavy head and stared at Pause, who stepped back cautiously.
“Ok, now what?” Beef said quietly.
“Help me herd it outside,” Pause said. Confident that the moose wouldn’t hurt him, he pushed at the creature until it stumbled ungracefully onto the floor. Balancing itself, it let out a low grunt and began to plod across the bedroom floor.
“Quick, go open the door wider,” Pause said. Etho ran and pulled the door wide open as the animal came nearer. Beef and Pause manoeuvred the creature out into the lounge room while Etho opened the front door.
“Goodbye, moose,” Etho said, waving as the creature strode out the door.
“Seeya, Marvin. Come back some time, you know, keep in touch,” Beef said. The moose had already crossed the road and started heading into the woods. “Come on, Pause. Aren’t you at least a little sad to see him go?”
“Eh, a little bit.” He waved begrudgingly. The three stood for a moment and watched the moose disappear into the trees. “Come on, let’s go inside, I’ll make coffee. Then you can help me clean the floor.”
“No way!” Etho and Beef said. Laughing, the three turned and headed back inside.

Comments

[jiminee]

I'm not 100% happy with this, I've been trying to make 'show, don't tell' my mantra, but I sort of failed at that here... also, creative title is creative.

But I did get to Google what moose sound like :D

[gummy53]

Creative title is definitely creative. But I love the fanfic! :D

[jiminee]

Thank you! <3

[(Anonymous)]

*places stolen waffles here where Tanadin won't find them*
-Scott

[jiminee]

Oh my god

[yuna_dragneel23]

Such cuteness :D

[blackcobrane]

:D cute

[curlycue]

AAAAA I love it!!! 'Marvin the Moose' XD I love how cool Beef is about the whole thing. Great job! Also, kudos on grammar and punctuation! :D

[jiminee]

I'm glad you like it! I feel like Beef would be the type of person to name a moose :D