Changing the Atmosphere (Chapter Twelve)
Sunday, June 1st, 2014 12:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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mindcrackloveEverybody, I'm sorry.
-BdoubleO
"Here we go again," Pause said as he entered the waiting room with Beef just a step behind him. Everyone seemed to be there already, they gave their smiles of acknowledgement.
"What happened this time?" Beef asked Generik as he sat in the empty chair next to him.
"I don't know. Doc came into our little meeting thing saying he saw Bdubs on his way to Guude's office. We talked about what we thought might be happening, got a plan to send Pyro to the office to 'ask Guude a question,' just to see what was happening, you know? It's taking longer than we thought, we send Kurt and Zisteau to see what's happening. Kurt comes running back to us saying Guude took Pyro and BDoubleO with him to the hospital. And here we are now." Generik sat back in his seat. Beef looked more confused than when he had walked in.
"So, wait, Pyro's the hurt one or BDoubleO is..."
"No. BDoubleO's the one who's in there. Pyro's right there," Generik siad pointing a finger towards Pyro who was running a hand through his already mused hair only to make it stand up even worse.
"And we don't know that Guude wasn't the one to knock him out or anything?" Generik shook his head.
"Guude looked worried, not pissed off. And he didn't have any signs that they had been fist fighting or anything. So, I dunno."
"Great," Beef sighed and looked up at Pause who was being forced to stand now that all the chairs had been taken.
"Where is Guude?" Pause asked, looking around the room for him. Generik didn't say anything, having to think for a moment.
"I don't know, actually," Generik turned in Pyro's direction. "Hey, Pyro! Where's Guude?"
"With BDoubleO, I think," the Irish accent replied. They all nodded, but the same questions roamed their minds. How exactly had that happened? It was only immediate family allowed, wasn't it?
----
"He's going to be okay," a nurse, male with bronzed skin and fluffy hair told them. "He's experiencing Post-Concussion Syndrome. Nothing to serious, but it caused a lot of pain and his body went into shock which caused him to fall unconscious. With rest and reduced amount of stress, it should be able to clear on its own. We're going to keep him over night for ow, but he can go home sooner than later."
"Are we aloud to see him?" Pause asked, the grip he had on Beef's hand tightening.
"Uhm," the nurse looked at all of them and then his watch. "Yeah. Come on."
They all stood up and followed the nurse to where BDoubleO was being kept.
"It might be a bit cramped in there?" he said, turning to look at the person closest to him within the flock. BTC nodded. "Alright then. This is it. Keep it down and try not to break anything."
They all piled into the room to find BDoubleO sitting up in the bed.
"What in hell's blazes-" he said, eyes widening at the sight of all of them.
"What the hell, man. How many times are we going to have to see you in here?" Anderz started, BDoubleO searched to find him but it sounded like he was behind the front row of faces.
"Yeah, did Guude give you a beating of a life time or what?" Avidya asked, causing some of them to grin. BDoubleO felt his cheeks grow warm. He didn't know whether or not Guude would want the rest of them to know...hell he didn't even know what they were to one another now. And if Guude was still planning on leaving...
"No, we were talking and then boom pain and I was out," BDoubleO told them, which wasn't a lie.
"But you're okay now?" Milbee asked. He nodded.
"Yeah, I mean I've got a headache the size of Alaska, but...I'm okay."
"Thank fucking christ, I thought you'd get amnesia or something," Pause said, his tone sounding like it had been more of a thought let loose than a statement. He heard the 'ooph' he gave off after Beef elbowed him. BDoubleO smiled.
"It's kind of you to all care. I thought I could throw myself out the window and you'd all tell me, 'You can't go back to work! Rest!' at me funeral."
"Hey! We only blew you off because we didn't want something like this to happen," Etho said.
"Ah, but you admit you were avoiding me."
"Etho admits it," Zisteau said. "I was simply giving you space and recovering time."
"Right, that's what all of us were doing. Except Etho," Nebris grinned as Etho turned to glare at him.
"I told you to shut up and go back to sleep," Baj shrugged casually. "I thought I was just giving you good advice. BDoubleO grumbled and the rest started to erupt with laughter and other things to say.
They stayed telling stories of what had been going on since BDoubleO had been absent and they'd refused to keep him in the loop.
Finals. Dumb students. Smart students. Applesauce coming in jars and Guude actually having lunch with them.
BDoubleO knew Guude wasn't in the room. He had woken up to a nurse checking on his pulse who asked if he was good enough to see visitors. He nodded without a second thought.
But, now knowing that Guude wasn't within their little crowd caused doubt to flow through him.
----
They kept telling him to fall asleep. They kept telling him it was better for him to just sit in bed. They kept saying to relax.
He couldn't fall asleep because of the constant reminder of why he was even there.
He couldn't just sit still, it was never part of his genes.
He couldn't relax when there was this aching worry keeping him from thinking of anything else.
He knew they were just trying to do their job, he just wished they could have been doing it to someone who would actually listen.
BDoubleO knew it was probably better to spend time thinking about how he was going to get over whatever the hell he had, but how could he when the last thing he can remember is Guude.
His brain was to preoccupied remembering the feeling of hands in his hair and clutching at clothing to even begin with head injuries and head aches.
It's to worried about why Guude hadn't been there. Pyro had told him that Guude drove him to the hospital and disappeared with him behind closed doors. The others hadn't seen or heard from him since earlier yesterday and the doubt coursed through him.
He knew this would happen, he knew if he did something stupid like /kissing/ Guude things would crumble on the rotten wood they had tried repairing their relationship with in the first place.
He just didn't know that it would be returned in the beginning. Perhaps it had been some cruel trick of his mind, maybe it hadn't lasted as long as he thought it had, maybe Guude hadn't been pulling closer instead trying to shove him off. Maybe it was all some crazy daydream he had been thinking of before he blacked out.
But it had felt so real.
----
"What the fuck do you mean you're 'quitting?'"
"You're leaving?"
"Guude!"
"Why?"
"What?"
"What are you thinking?"
"You can't quit!"
They all seemed to be speaking at once. He caught a few pitches of voices dropping and raising and the few words that came from those that rang the loudest or the most fowl use of language that his ears picked out.
He sat there and took it, the look of silent concern and confusion from Kurt, Pause swearing from the top of his lungs, Beef trying to make something rational from the confession, Baj looking throughly pissed off, some had even slipped into their first languages and by their tones Guude could only guess that weren't words of kindness.
He rubbed at his forehead and waited for the yelling to die down. It took longer than he expected, usually it was only a few minutes over a problem. This one seemed to take up at least fifteen.
"What do you mean you're quitting?" JSano asked, calmly. Everyone was silent as they awaited his answer. He explained his ordeal, the ultimatum Ender had given him.
"It's me or one of you, and I chose."
"What are you even talking about? Ender's retired, he can't do that," Beef said skeptically.
"He was on the board for longer than I've worked here, hell, since I've been alive. Just because he's not on it anymore doesn't mean they aren't going to listen to him," Guude sighed.
"So...what? You're just going to quit without even putting up a protest? Tell people just how fucked up that is?" Zisteau asked, a few nodded.
"If I quit, I'm able to ensure whoever is going to take my place. If I were to be fired...I wouldn't have that option."
"And BDoubleO is totally cool with this?"
"Well, no. He's in the hospital because we were...," Guude let out a few syllables trying to find the right word, "...arguing over this. After what happened I knew I had to tell you. All of you."
"What? More bad news after the next?"
"I know it's a shitty situation, /I know./ But I also know it's going to be okay."
"How the hell can you say that?" Pause said, his voice in a higher pitch. "You're going to be out of a job and we're going to be out of a Guude!"
"BDoubleO will-"
"All respect to BDoubleO, but he isn't /you/, Guude," Beef said. Everyone nodded and gave their murmurs of agreement.
Guude blinked, looking around the classroom to all their face. Each one with a look of worry and concern and anger. He had expected acceptance and farewells, but never this.
"I, um...there's nothing else I can do. I'm sorry," Guude shrugged, feeling like a fish flopping on the shore.
"I'll quit!" Anderz said.
"You can all stop right there, because that will never fucking happen," Guude said immediately.
"And what, we're supposed to be okay with you doing it for us?" Beef asked with a frown.
"Yes," Guude said flatly. Beef shook his head. "I know and I'm sorry. Thanks for your time. I'll see you all tomorrow."
He nodded his goodbye and was out the door before the first thought of protesting his leaving was able to form in someone's thoughts.
They were all left in stunned silence, looking at the door Guude had exited through, then turned to look at one another.
After another moment of silence the room was filled with arguments and more talk of the problematic situation that had risen.
----
BDoubleO had tried to force himself to focus on something else. Anything else.
His breathing. To painful.
His work. He was on leave.
It didn't matter, every time he managed to change the topic in his mind reverted back to Guude.
Probably the most unhealthy thing as of that moment.
He was worried and anxious to get the hell out of the small hospital room. He'd tried to get out of bed, but the world had spun to much for him to be able to keep his balance. Everytime he asked when he could be released they either shrugged or told him, 'Sorry, I'm not the one who can answer that question.'
To be honest he didn't know whether they were talking about not being a high enough rank in the work or they were trying to sound deep and it being about his decision. Either way he hated it there. The sheets were itchy, smell made him want to vomit, and everything was dulled down. As if all the color in the world had been deprived from the fateful place.
He didn't want to sleep in fear of what his brain would have waiting for him behind his eye lids. He had no one to talk to, knowing that the end of the term would be busy for everyone.
That had to be why Guude wasn't around.
Right?
No, it was because he had fucked everything up. Everything must have gotten banged around in his head because he couldn't think of any other reason as to why Guude hadn't tried to make contact with him. He had totaled their friendship because he couldn't keep a grip on himself.
Guude probably realized what a terrible mess BDoubleO was, he probably finally saw him in the light for the first time since they had met. Finally everything had been falling into place and he had to sneeze and throw it all off balance.
How could he ever speak to him again? He'd pulled the worst trick in the handbook and there was nothing he could do to fix it sitting in the god for saken hospital bed.
He needed to get out.
----
"I've got it!" Beef came marching into the class room where they had set up base. There was pizza boxes stacked in the trashcan and paper fluttering around wrists and ankles.
Some where passed out and others were still trying to find something to give the situation some kind of life line. They hadn't even noticed Beef was gone.
Well, everyone except Pause. But they'd ignored the high pitched 'Beef?'s being called into the voicemail of an unanswered phone after the first eight times.
"What?" Seth jumped over a desk, snatching the file that Beef held in his hand. His eyes seemed to grow wider and wider as he flipped through it. "Where did you get this?"
"I called. I drove. I spoke. Someone gave," Beef crossed his arms over his chest.
"You think it'll work?" Vechs asked, having read over Seth's shoulder.
"Of course it'll work," Beef said, his tone strong and confident. "It has to work."
"How're we going to, you know, use it?" Seth asked, passing the file onto Paul who had his hand outstretched for it. A few others crowded around him to read. Beef grinned.
"We're going straight to the board."
----
this IS SO SHORT AND SO TERRIBLE.
I'm so sorry.
YOU'RE ALL SO LOVELY THANK YOU, YOU KIND SOULS.
-BdoubleO
"Here we go again," Pause said as he entered the waiting room with Beef just a step behind him. Everyone seemed to be there already, they gave their smiles of acknowledgement.
"What happened this time?" Beef asked Generik as he sat in the empty chair next to him.
"I don't know. Doc came into our little meeting thing saying he saw Bdubs on his way to Guude's office. We talked about what we thought might be happening, got a plan to send Pyro to the office to 'ask Guude a question,' just to see what was happening, you know? It's taking longer than we thought, we send Kurt and Zisteau to see what's happening. Kurt comes running back to us saying Guude took Pyro and BDoubleO with him to the hospital. And here we are now." Generik sat back in his seat. Beef looked more confused than when he had walked in.
"So, wait, Pyro's the hurt one or BDoubleO is..."
"No. BDoubleO's the one who's in there. Pyro's right there," Generik siad pointing a finger towards Pyro who was running a hand through his already mused hair only to make it stand up even worse.
"And we don't know that Guude wasn't the one to knock him out or anything?" Generik shook his head.
"Guude looked worried, not pissed off. And he didn't have any signs that they had been fist fighting or anything. So, I dunno."
"Great," Beef sighed and looked up at Pause who was being forced to stand now that all the chairs had been taken.
"Where is Guude?" Pause asked, looking around the room for him. Generik didn't say anything, having to think for a moment.
"I don't know, actually," Generik turned in Pyro's direction. "Hey, Pyro! Where's Guude?"
"With BDoubleO, I think," the Irish accent replied. They all nodded, but the same questions roamed their minds. How exactly had that happened? It was only immediate family allowed, wasn't it?
----
"He's going to be okay," a nurse, male with bronzed skin and fluffy hair told them. "He's experiencing Post-Concussion Syndrome. Nothing to serious, but it caused a lot of pain and his body went into shock which caused him to fall unconscious. With rest and reduced amount of stress, it should be able to clear on its own. We're going to keep him over night for ow, but he can go home sooner than later."
"Are we aloud to see him?" Pause asked, the grip he had on Beef's hand tightening.
"Uhm," the nurse looked at all of them and then his watch. "Yeah. Come on."
They all stood up and followed the nurse to where BDoubleO was being kept.
"It might be a bit cramped in there?" he said, turning to look at the person closest to him within the flock. BTC nodded. "Alright then. This is it. Keep it down and try not to break anything."
They all piled into the room to find BDoubleO sitting up in the bed.
"What in hell's blazes-" he said, eyes widening at the sight of all of them.
"What the hell, man. How many times are we going to have to see you in here?" Anderz started, BDoubleO searched to find him but it sounded like he was behind the front row of faces.
"Yeah, did Guude give you a beating of a life time or what?" Avidya asked, causing some of them to grin. BDoubleO felt his cheeks grow warm. He didn't know whether or not Guude would want the rest of them to know...hell he didn't even know what they were to one another now. And if Guude was still planning on leaving...
"No, we were talking and then boom pain and I was out," BDoubleO told them, which wasn't a lie.
"But you're okay now?" Milbee asked. He nodded.
"Yeah, I mean I've got a headache the size of Alaska, but...I'm okay."
"Thank fucking christ, I thought you'd get amnesia or something," Pause said, his tone sounding like it had been more of a thought let loose than a statement. He heard the 'ooph' he gave off after Beef elbowed him. BDoubleO smiled.
"It's kind of you to all care. I thought I could throw myself out the window and you'd all tell me, 'You can't go back to work! Rest!' at me funeral."
"Hey! We only blew you off because we didn't want something like this to happen," Etho said.
"Ah, but you admit you were avoiding me."
"Etho admits it," Zisteau said. "I was simply giving you space and recovering time."
"Right, that's what all of us were doing. Except Etho," Nebris grinned as Etho turned to glare at him.
"I told you to shut up and go back to sleep," Baj shrugged casually. "I thought I was just giving you good advice. BDoubleO grumbled and the rest started to erupt with laughter and other things to say.
They stayed telling stories of what had been going on since BDoubleO had been absent and they'd refused to keep him in the loop.
Finals. Dumb students. Smart students. Applesauce coming in jars and Guude actually having lunch with them.
BDoubleO knew Guude wasn't in the room. He had woken up to a nurse checking on his pulse who asked if he was good enough to see visitors. He nodded without a second thought.
But, now knowing that Guude wasn't within their little crowd caused doubt to flow through him.
----
They kept telling him to fall asleep. They kept telling him it was better for him to just sit in bed. They kept saying to relax.
He couldn't fall asleep because of the constant reminder of why he was even there.
He couldn't just sit still, it was never part of his genes.
He couldn't relax when there was this aching worry keeping him from thinking of anything else.
He knew they were just trying to do their job, he just wished they could have been doing it to someone who would actually listen.
BDoubleO knew it was probably better to spend time thinking about how he was going to get over whatever the hell he had, but how could he when the last thing he can remember is Guude.
His brain was to preoccupied remembering the feeling of hands in his hair and clutching at clothing to even begin with head injuries and head aches.
It's to worried about why Guude hadn't been there. Pyro had told him that Guude drove him to the hospital and disappeared with him behind closed doors. The others hadn't seen or heard from him since earlier yesterday and the doubt coursed through him.
He knew this would happen, he knew if he did something stupid like /kissing/ Guude things would crumble on the rotten wood they had tried repairing their relationship with in the first place.
He just didn't know that it would be returned in the beginning. Perhaps it had been some cruel trick of his mind, maybe it hadn't lasted as long as he thought it had, maybe Guude hadn't been pulling closer instead trying to shove him off. Maybe it was all some crazy daydream he had been thinking of before he blacked out.
But it had felt so real.
----
"What the fuck do you mean you're 'quitting?'"
"You're leaving?"
"Guude!"
"Why?"
"What?"
"What are you thinking?"
"You can't quit!"
They all seemed to be speaking at once. He caught a few pitches of voices dropping and raising and the few words that came from those that rang the loudest or the most fowl use of language that his ears picked out.
He sat there and took it, the look of silent concern and confusion from Kurt, Pause swearing from the top of his lungs, Beef trying to make something rational from the confession, Baj looking throughly pissed off, some had even slipped into their first languages and by their tones Guude could only guess that weren't words of kindness.
He rubbed at his forehead and waited for the yelling to die down. It took longer than he expected, usually it was only a few minutes over a problem. This one seemed to take up at least fifteen.
"What do you mean you're quitting?" JSano asked, calmly. Everyone was silent as they awaited his answer. He explained his ordeal, the ultimatum Ender had given him.
"It's me or one of you, and I chose."
"What are you even talking about? Ender's retired, he can't do that," Beef said skeptically.
"He was on the board for longer than I've worked here, hell, since I've been alive. Just because he's not on it anymore doesn't mean they aren't going to listen to him," Guude sighed.
"So...what? You're just going to quit without even putting up a protest? Tell people just how fucked up that is?" Zisteau asked, a few nodded.
"If I quit, I'm able to ensure whoever is going to take my place. If I were to be fired...I wouldn't have that option."
"And BDoubleO is totally cool with this?"
"Well, no. He's in the hospital because we were...," Guude let out a few syllables trying to find the right word, "...arguing over this. After what happened I knew I had to tell you. All of you."
"What? More bad news after the next?"
"I know it's a shitty situation, /I know./ But I also know it's going to be okay."
"How the hell can you say that?" Pause said, his voice in a higher pitch. "You're going to be out of a job and we're going to be out of a Guude!"
"BDoubleO will-"
"All respect to BDoubleO, but he isn't /you/, Guude," Beef said. Everyone nodded and gave their murmurs of agreement.
Guude blinked, looking around the classroom to all their face. Each one with a look of worry and concern and anger. He had expected acceptance and farewells, but never this.
"I, um...there's nothing else I can do. I'm sorry," Guude shrugged, feeling like a fish flopping on the shore.
"I'll quit!" Anderz said.
"You can all stop right there, because that will never fucking happen," Guude said immediately.
"And what, we're supposed to be okay with you doing it for us?" Beef asked with a frown.
"Yes," Guude said flatly. Beef shook his head. "I know and I'm sorry. Thanks for your time. I'll see you all tomorrow."
He nodded his goodbye and was out the door before the first thought of protesting his leaving was able to form in someone's thoughts.
They were all left in stunned silence, looking at the door Guude had exited through, then turned to look at one another.
After another moment of silence the room was filled with arguments and more talk of the problematic situation that had risen.
----
BDoubleO had tried to force himself to focus on something else. Anything else.
His breathing. To painful.
His work. He was on leave.
It didn't matter, every time he managed to change the topic in his mind reverted back to Guude.
Probably the most unhealthy thing as of that moment.
He was worried and anxious to get the hell out of the small hospital room. He'd tried to get out of bed, but the world had spun to much for him to be able to keep his balance. Everytime he asked when he could be released they either shrugged or told him, 'Sorry, I'm not the one who can answer that question.'
To be honest he didn't know whether they were talking about not being a high enough rank in the work or they were trying to sound deep and it being about his decision. Either way he hated it there. The sheets were itchy, smell made him want to vomit, and everything was dulled down. As if all the color in the world had been deprived from the fateful place.
He didn't want to sleep in fear of what his brain would have waiting for him behind his eye lids. He had no one to talk to, knowing that the end of the term would be busy for everyone.
That had to be why Guude wasn't around.
Right?
No, it was because he had fucked everything up. Everything must have gotten banged around in his head because he couldn't think of any other reason as to why Guude hadn't tried to make contact with him. He had totaled their friendship because he couldn't keep a grip on himself.
Guude probably realized what a terrible mess BDoubleO was, he probably finally saw him in the light for the first time since they had met. Finally everything had been falling into place and he had to sneeze and throw it all off balance.
How could he ever speak to him again? He'd pulled the worst trick in the handbook and there was nothing he could do to fix it sitting in the god for saken hospital bed.
He needed to get out.
----
"I've got it!" Beef came marching into the class room where they had set up base. There was pizza boxes stacked in the trashcan and paper fluttering around wrists and ankles.
Some where passed out and others were still trying to find something to give the situation some kind of life line. They hadn't even noticed Beef was gone.
Well, everyone except Pause. But they'd ignored the high pitched 'Beef?'s being called into the voicemail of an unanswered phone after the first eight times.
"What?" Seth jumped over a desk, snatching the file that Beef held in his hand. His eyes seemed to grow wider and wider as he flipped through it. "Where did you get this?"
"I called. I drove. I spoke. Someone gave," Beef crossed his arms over his chest.
"You think it'll work?" Vechs asked, having read over Seth's shoulder.
"Of course it'll work," Beef said, his tone strong and confident. "It has to work."
"How're we going to, you know, use it?" Seth asked, passing the file onto Paul who had his hand outstretched for it. A few others crowded around him to read. Beef grinned.
"We're going straight to the board."
----
this IS SO SHORT AND SO TERRIBLE.
I'm so sorry.
YOU'RE ALL SO LOVELY THANK YOU, YOU KIND SOULS.
no subject
Date: Sunday, June 1st, 2014 07:29 pm (UTC)Can't wait for the next one :3!!!!
<3
Date: Sunday, June 1st, 2014 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Monday, June 2nd, 2014 01:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Monday, June 2nd, 2014 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Monday, August 4th, 2014 06:42 pm (UTC)