More Admin Things

[scaredykitty]

Rule 1 - Don't be a dick.

No really, that's the first rule.

Also "You can totally have your opinions, but if I need to start policing people for being rude to each other, I totally will"

Basically, everyone can have their own opinions. You are more then welcome to voice your opinions. But if they're nasty to another person here, about someone else, or anything else, you can also be removed. Freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom to be a dick.

If there's someone being rude, you can message any of the three mods about it (Ms. Mod, RedWolf, or Myself) or take it up with them privately.

Homophobia is gunna be bad here, so y'all know. It's sort of a big part of the community, that is, smutty gay fanfiction. So there's that. Y'all don't have to read it, or write it, or even look at it. But understand it's here, and it's gunna be here.

There's also going to be straight fics here. And fics with tentacles. All fics are welcome here.

You can write whatever you wanna write. You want to write all the guys going out for drinks? Whatever. You want to write hardcore gorn? Whatever, just tag it. We can all live fine here with our fanfics. If you don't like something then....just don't comment on it at all. Go make more yourself, or find someone who will make what you like.

Also, my favouritest video ever - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI

Comments

[mewbladexxx]

For clarification, gorn means Gore and Porn. ;)

[lemsters]

I'd just like to point out that if anyone calls LGBT stuff/smut 'gross' one more time that I will not be responsible for my actions.

I am not gross. I will fuck you up if you think that genitals are more important than feelings.

If you think gay smut is 'gross' you should probably find a new website.

[silvercheers]

Calm down. We are accepting of everyone. Perhaps what they said could have not been said, or put in a less offensive manner. Tact and clarity is something we all could use a little more of.

But, that doesn't mean we attack people. We can ask them to keep their feelings to themselves, and take further action if they become unreasonable, but don't just hate them. Hatred breeds hatred, please do your best to be kind and respond in a reasonable manner. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Edit: That being said, you are certainly allowed to take offense at whatever you feel. If you're referring to the person I think you are, you'll notice that they said to tell them if they said something hurtful. Perhaps you could take advantage of that?

Edit 2: Additionally, because I can speak from experience, someone can not like reading homosexual pairings (smut or otherwise) and still be utterly supportive of the LGBT community. Can be part of that community, too. Whatever was said might only be in relation to fanfic, please don't let assumptions blind you. People will read what they want, they have every right to.

[(Anonymous)]

As a transgendered, homosexual male, I too can understand how sore of a spot this kind of thing is. It's easy for a heterosexual, cisgendered person to say "calm down" and act like being insulted for what we are is no big deal, but they aren't the ones who have to feel like the world is often against them. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who is insulted. I don't know if you're LGBT or a supporter, but I'd like to give you a whole-hearted thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone in being hurt at all of this. I honestly feel attacked at the way Salad itself seems to be telling all of us to calm down and expect us to act like it's nothing.

[(Anonymous)]

And I know, I know. That sounded rude and bitter, but people say rude and bitter things when they're hurt. My best friend his straight and cisgendered, and she's everything to me. Just ... being a minority and living in the country with judging assholes has made me defensive and overly sensitive. This kind of thing can make me cry.

[(Anonymous)]

And that post before was meant for lemsters, but I misclicked. I'm just really upset right now. I would edit the posts, but anon doesn't let you. I don't know. I'm gonna go cry in a corner now.

[silvercheers]

*sigh* Sorry, I didn't make myself clear, I am part of the LGBT community.

If you feel you have a right to be offended, then be offended (I believe I said this earlier). I have no wish to tell you how to feel. All I'm asking is that no one attacks anyone. Don't be a dick applies to EVERYONE: all of Salad. Be respectful and reasonable. If the other person isn't then the mods do modly things them. Try telling them, respectfully, that you think what they said was rude, and ask if they could perhaps reword or not say that sort of thing in the future (or just ask what they mean, and if it ends up being offensive then they'll be warned). Just please don't take your anger or hurt out on people, particularly if you don't have the whole story.

I understand if you're hurt, but all we are saying - my comments, this entire post - is that no one starts yelling at anyone.

[(Anonymous)]

I know; I know.... I'm just wearing my heart on my sleeve today. I shouldn't have snapped at anyone, and I wished that I could've deleted the posts immediately, but anon won't let you to my knowledge. You're all great friends, and I don't want to lose anybody by being belligerent.

"Try telling them, respectfully, that you think what they said was rude, and ask if they could perhaps reword or not say that sort of thing in the future..."

Sometimes I just need a little reminder to be level-headed. <3

[silvercheers]

It's alright, some times I forget that not everyone has iron-clad skin. I probably could have said things better, as well. (starting that first post with calm down was not my best idea) Don't forget that, whoever you are, you're our friend, too. We'll take your quirks in stride.

Once you're feeling better, pop back in and we can have a hug pile. I hear we're good at those. ;)

[damnreddit]

I gotta be honest, I really, really despise the idea that when someone comes in here saying explicitly that they find gay smut "gross" -- the clear and never-denied implication behind that being that the sex itself is also gross -- it is somehow the responsibility of people who read that, and are angered or hurt by it, to be polite and deferential. Exactly how polite is it to throw that shit out there into the world in the first place? It's the height of arrogance, or something, to think you can say such things and NOT have people wanting to smack you in the face through your modem. You don't get to play the victim when someone predictably gets hot under the collar at you.

I do not value absence of conflict over the right to express hurt.

[silvercheers]

I guess we have different philosophies, then. I've always been taught to be respectful, even when hurt or angry, and to do my best not to hurt in return.

Again, I'm not saying that you have no right to express your hurt. We're asking you not to be a dick about expressing it. Mutual non-dickery is what we're going for. Talk to them. Tell them that what they said hurt you. Ask them if that's what they actually meant, and if it is then ask them to please not express that particular opinion in this space. If they continue to do so, then modly action might be taken (I don't know, I'm not a mod). I honestly don't care what is said, so long as it's not rude or disrespectful. The point is, no one gets to be a dick, whether you're the offender or the offended. People are allowed to make mistakes, so long as they learn from them. To so easily condemn them is a disservice.

As a side note, I've not seen any victim playing, though I admittedly haven't been following those posts closely, and this has nothing to do with victims or persecutors or whatever. This is a general advisory for people to not be rude, so people don't have to be victims.

tldr, don't be a dick applies to everyone. That is all.

[(Anonymous)]

Well. All I can say is I'm happy Salad is making its new friends welcome, as per usual. Some people aren't into gay smut or don't appreciate(for lack of a better word) any m/m, f/f relationships and that is fine and that is their right. Apparently Salad has gone from a 'yay for fan fics and all the lovely things the sub reddit may not enjoy!' and turned into 'Gay! Gay things! Salad is all about gay relationships and nothing more!!'

At least that's how recent events make things seem.

All I've got to say is I've heard some pretty heterophobic things in relation to fics that involve Aureylian both romantically and sexually and I could not have been more surprised.

So, ya, don't be a dick. Great rule. All should follow.

ALL.

Meaning, don't go bashing your new members in your lovely little private Skype chats. Try making them feel welcome and not immediately putting up a wall claiming they are, or seem to have the potential to be, dicks.

That is all. I truly needed to get this off my chest. I'm done now. :)

Love ya Salad. <3

[scaredykitty]

Anyone can like whatever they want to like. The rule is most certainly being told to everyone.

The skype chats aren't private. If you want to join, all you have to do is ask.

[damnreddit]

That is their right to be homophobic. What they don't have is the right to expect that everyone in the world will hug them for it and say how happy they are that they are with them in what up to now has been a place without such people.

There's no such thing as heterophobia. There is such a thing as misogyny among writers of m/m fics, and I for one am out there with the pitchfork wherever I see it directed at Aureylian. Don't make this into a silly either/or battle, because it's not.

And I am one who never had any interest in m/m pairings before Mindcrack. Lack of interest does not go hand in hand with homophobia, but outright homophobia sure as hell does.

[(Anonymous)]

" Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT). " Quote from Wiki

That said, If a LGBT person has negative attitude's to Het, Which some do, Does that not mean there is heterophobia?

[(Anonymous)]

You could also say Women can't be sexist to men, Or others people racist to white people

[damnreddit]

IMO no, but I'm not going to get into the details of why I think that way. It's a minor point I'm not interested in defending. I would appreciate if those who wish to debate with me would comment on the main thing I'm saying.