Fic - Just a Love Story | Chapter 1
Thursday, March 6th, 2014 10:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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mindcrackloveThis is a bit of an abrupt chapter, but hopefully Chapter 2 will be out by Sunday, if not Saturday. Probably not Saturday, I'm going to see a show then. >.>
By the time the Grand Master had gotten them through the castle gates, Vechs had long fallen fast asleep in Zisteau’s arms. He slept on even when the Grand Master hoisted both Zisteau and Vechs off the saddle, a mark of how exhausted the young child was. Zisteau felt guilty – the last few days had been nothing but catching naps when they could, and finding new places to hide when they couldn’t.
As the Grand Master curried his horse, Zisteau sat in the soft straw with an armful of sleepy Vechs. The small child curled in on himself, content to snooze in his older brother’s arms.
Zisteau brushed back Vechs’ unruly black hair, so different from his own blonde locks. Zisteau looked up at the sound of a saddle being settled onto a wall. The Grand Master smiled down at him, and suddenly, Zisteau realized how weathered the Grand Master actually was. He was one of the older men in the castle, well respected for both his achievements and his age. Only the King was older, and that was an achievement in it of itself.
“I can carry your brother if you want me to,” the Grand Master offered. Zisteau resolutely shook his head, struggling to stand. His brother was horrendously underweight and he knew that, but there was nothing for it, given their lifestyle. However, Vechs being underweight also meant he was understrength. He wobbled, and only the Grand Master’s hand on his back prevented him from toppling over.
Zisteau squeaked as the Grand Master picked him up, brother and all. “Don’t worry, I won’t drop you,” he said calmly, with the barest hints of a chuckle in his voice. Zisteau sighed and resigned himself to being carried as the Grand Master ascended several flights of stairs, carrying him and Vechs with nary a complaint.
“Kappa, love,” the Grand Master called, tapping on the door with his foot. “Help me open the door? My arms are a bit full right now.”
The door cracked open a bit, and a brown haired, matronly looking woman peeked out. “Paul, dear- oh!” The woman gasped, near throwing the door open. “Children! Oh goodness, come in, come in! Quickly Paul, supper is on the stove, but let me draw a bath for the children.” The woman – Kappa - hurried away, presumably to draw a bath.
The Grand Master – Paul, set Zisteau down gently, walking over to the fireplace and stacking a few logs inside. He piled some tinder on the logs, and after a few minutes and a match later, the whole pile was slowly starting to blaze merrily.
The next few hours were a bit of a blur to Zisteau. He was shooed into the bath by the Grand Master’s wife, and spend a while marveling at the warm water and how clean and white his skin was when he emerged. She wrapped him with warm towels, and a promise to get him proper clothes later. He was then sat at the dining room table and a warm bowl of soup was set in front of him, as Vechs was nudged awake and also hustled away to the bath.
When Vechs emerged, he was a sleepy pile of warmth, also wrapped in white linens. His hair was damp and stuck to his face comically. Zisteau fed him spoonful’s of the warm soup until Vechs properly fell asleep, slouching against Zisteau’s side. At that point, the Grand Master’s wife returned from… Wherever she went, with an armful of sleep clothes, borrowed from other children living in the castle.
There were several pairs that fit Zisteau, and the softness of the cloth was simply astounding to him. Never in his life had he had something so majestic, so beautiful and clean. Vechs was harder to dress, being a limp pile of skin, bones, and muscles. However, between himself and the Grand Master’s wife, Vechs was fitted with slightly too large sleepwear.
She allowed them to doze on the chairs in front of the fireplace, sleepy and compliant with warmth and cleanliness.
“I’ll check on you children later tonight,” the Grand Master’s wife said, brushing a gentle hand over Zisteau’s forehead. He was too sleepy to resist, merely murmuring a tired confirmative, before finally dozing off.
Kappa smiled gently, tossing a warm blanket over the two boys before retiring to her bedroom. As always, her husband was working late into the night, but then again, since he became Grand Master of the Hunt, when was he not?
Changing into her nightgown, she extinguished the bedside lamp with a quick breath. She would have to remember to get up at the turn of next day to check on the boys.
“Goodnight dear,” she called into the room over, where Paul was working under the candlelight.
“Goodnight, Kappa dear,” Paul called back absently. Kappa smiled, then drew up the thick woolen covers, falling asleep almost instantly.
~*~
When Kappa awoke for the second time that day, Paul was snoring softly besides her, and the sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon. Dressing quickly, she hustled downstairs, checking that the boys were still where they were from yesterday.
Much to her surprise, Zisteau was sitting up, wide awake, plucking at a loose thread on the collar of his shirt. His head snapped up when she approached, and Kappa felt a pang of sadness at the guarded, nearly hostile look on his face. He relaxed after a moment, resuming watching over his younger brother, Vechs.
“Hello dear,” She said quietly, bustling around the kitchen pulling out bread and some fruit as well as some dried meat. “Would you like something to eat for breakfast?”
Zisteau looked up again hesitantly. “… Can I?” he asked, voice full of apprehension.
“It’s ‘may I’, dear, and yes, of course you may.” The Grand Master’s wife smiled, setting down a plate on the table. It was piled high with a few slices of warmed, soft bread and pieces of salted ham. Zisteau shuffled off the couch, clambering onto the chair with a soft grunt of effort. With another quick glance up at her, he snatched up one of the slices of bread and a piece of ham, making as if to climb off the chair.
“And where are you going, young man?” She asked. Zisteau froze, turning to face her quickly.
“I’m going to give this food to Vechs, ma’am,” Zisteau said defensively, hopping off the chair and backing up slightly, even though Kappa hadn’t moved from where she was washing up the milk bottles.
“The food isn’t going anywhere, sit and eat. Vechs will have plenty to eat.” Kappa smiled reassuringly. “And please, it’s Kappa.”
Zisteau hesitated, looking back at his still slumbering brother, and then climbed back onto the chair, biting into the bread. He consumed it voraciously, startling Kappa.
“Slow down,” she cautioned. “The food isn’t going anywhere, and you might make yourself sick.” She set a gentle hand on his shoulder, reaching up to ruffle his hair. Zisteau paused, before relaxing into her motherly touch.
He nearly sighed in disappointment when she drew away, going over to the living room to check on Vechs. He was still curled up in a nest of blankets, still happily asleep. Zisteau was pretty sure Vechs wasn’t suppose to sleep that long, but he didn’t want to deny his brother the luxury of sleeping in a warm, safe place.
“So, how old are you?” Right before Zisteau was about to take in another mouthful of meat and bread, the question was asked, forcing him to think about it.
“I’m five,” he said after a moment of thought. “And two years. I think.”
Kappa frowned, putting down another plate on the table. “You don’t know how old you are?”
Zisteau shrugged through another mouthful of food. “I’m five and two years. Next year I suppose I’ll be five and three years.” He paused again. “I only know how to count to five.”
Kappa gasped. “Well that’s hardly right! Surely you must know your numbers, you’re seven years old.”
Zisteau pondered this. “Seven? Oh. I think Vechs is four. He’s younger than me,” he added unnecessarily, taking another huge bite.
Just then, the Grand Master appeared, dressed in formal clothing. He looked a bit hurried, as he grabbed a piece of bread from the table, pecking Kappa on the cheek quickly. “I’ll be back later,” he told his wife. “King needs to see me, do a report on the details of the hunt.” He looked at Zisteau. “I expect you’ll still be here when I return, yes? I don’t particularly like the idea of you two boys going back onto the streets, although there’s really nothing I can do to stop you two from going. However my door is open, and my wife really does adore you. Think about it, Zisteau.” The Grand Master smiled, before ducking out the door.
Zisteau stared, blinking slowly, caught in a daze. It was only when Kappa rubbed his thin shoulders gently. "Let's see about getting you some proper day wear and waking up your brother, shall we?” she said, with a gentle smile on her face. Zisteau could only nod, decisions warring in his head.
What should he do?
Chapters:
Prologue
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
By the time the Grand Master had gotten them through the castle gates, Vechs had long fallen fast asleep in Zisteau’s arms. He slept on even when the Grand Master hoisted both Zisteau and Vechs off the saddle, a mark of how exhausted the young child was. Zisteau felt guilty – the last few days had been nothing but catching naps when they could, and finding new places to hide when they couldn’t.
As the Grand Master curried his horse, Zisteau sat in the soft straw with an armful of sleepy Vechs. The small child curled in on himself, content to snooze in his older brother’s arms.
Zisteau brushed back Vechs’ unruly black hair, so different from his own blonde locks. Zisteau looked up at the sound of a saddle being settled onto a wall. The Grand Master smiled down at him, and suddenly, Zisteau realized how weathered the Grand Master actually was. He was one of the older men in the castle, well respected for both his achievements and his age. Only the King was older, and that was an achievement in it of itself.
“I can carry your brother if you want me to,” the Grand Master offered. Zisteau resolutely shook his head, struggling to stand. His brother was horrendously underweight and he knew that, but there was nothing for it, given their lifestyle. However, Vechs being underweight also meant he was understrength. He wobbled, and only the Grand Master’s hand on his back prevented him from toppling over.
Zisteau squeaked as the Grand Master picked him up, brother and all. “Don’t worry, I won’t drop you,” he said calmly, with the barest hints of a chuckle in his voice. Zisteau sighed and resigned himself to being carried as the Grand Master ascended several flights of stairs, carrying him and Vechs with nary a complaint.
“Kappa, love,” the Grand Master called, tapping on the door with his foot. “Help me open the door? My arms are a bit full right now.”
The door cracked open a bit, and a brown haired, matronly looking woman peeked out. “Paul, dear- oh!” The woman gasped, near throwing the door open. “Children! Oh goodness, come in, come in! Quickly Paul, supper is on the stove, but let me draw a bath for the children.” The woman – Kappa - hurried away, presumably to draw a bath.
The Grand Master – Paul, set Zisteau down gently, walking over to the fireplace and stacking a few logs inside. He piled some tinder on the logs, and after a few minutes and a match later, the whole pile was slowly starting to blaze merrily.
The next few hours were a bit of a blur to Zisteau. He was shooed into the bath by the Grand Master’s wife, and spend a while marveling at the warm water and how clean and white his skin was when he emerged. She wrapped him with warm towels, and a promise to get him proper clothes later. He was then sat at the dining room table and a warm bowl of soup was set in front of him, as Vechs was nudged awake and also hustled away to the bath.
When Vechs emerged, he was a sleepy pile of warmth, also wrapped in white linens. His hair was damp and stuck to his face comically. Zisteau fed him spoonful’s of the warm soup until Vechs properly fell asleep, slouching against Zisteau’s side. At that point, the Grand Master’s wife returned from… Wherever she went, with an armful of sleep clothes, borrowed from other children living in the castle.
There were several pairs that fit Zisteau, and the softness of the cloth was simply astounding to him. Never in his life had he had something so majestic, so beautiful and clean. Vechs was harder to dress, being a limp pile of skin, bones, and muscles. However, between himself and the Grand Master’s wife, Vechs was fitted with slightly too large sleepwear.
She allowed them to doze on the chairs in front of the fireplace, sleepy and compliant with warmth and cleanliness.
“I’ll check on you children later tonight,” the Grand Master’s wife said, brushing a gentle hand over Zisteau’s forehead. He was too sleepy to resist, merely murmuring a tired confirmative, before finally dozing off.
Kappa smiled gently, tossing a warm blanket over the two boys before retiring to her bedroom. As always, her husband was working late into the night, but then again, since he became Grand Master of the Hunt, when was he not?
Changing into her nightgown, she extinguished the bedside lamp with a quick breath. She would have to remember to get up at the turn of next day to check on the boys.
“Goodnight dear,” she called into the room over, where Paul was working under the candlelight.
“Goodnight, Kappa dear,” Paul called back absently. Kappa smiled, then drew up the thick woolen covers, falling asleep almost instantly.
~*~
When Kappa awoke for the second time that day, Paul was snoring softly besides her, and the sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon. Dressing quickly, she hustled downstairs, checking that the boys were still where they were from yesterday.
Much to her surprise, Zisteau was sitting up, wide awake, plucking at a loose thread on the collar of his shirt. His head snapped up when she approached, and Kappa felt a pang of sadness at the guarded, nearly hostile look on his face. He relaxed after a moment, resuming watching over his younger brother, Vechs.
“Hello dear,” She said quietly, bustling around the kitchen pulling out bread and some fruit as well as some dried meat. “Would you like something to eat for breakfast?”
Zisteau looked up again hesitantly. “… Can I?” he asked, voice full of apprehension.
“It’s ‘may I’, dear, and yes, of course you may.” The Grand Master’s wife smiled, setting down a plate on the table. It was piled high with a few slices of warmed, soft bread and pieces of salted ham. Zisteau shuffled off the couch, clambering onto the chair with a soft grunt of effort. With another quick glance up at her, he snatched up one of the slices of bread and a piece of ham, making as if to climb off the chair.
“And where are you going, young man?” She asked. Zisteau froze, turning to face her quickly.
“I’m going to give this food to Vechs, ma’am,” Zisteau said defensively, hopping off the chair and backing up slightly, even though Kappa hadn’t moved from where she was washing up the milk bottles.
“The food isn’t going anywhere, sit and eat. Vechs will have plenty to eat.” Kappa smiled reassuringly. “And please, it’s Kappa.”
Zisteau hesitated, looking back at his still slumbering brother, and then climbed back onto the chair, biting into the bread. He consumed it voraciously, startling Kappa.
“Slow down,” she cautioned. “The food isn’t going anywhere, and you might make yourself sick.” She set a gentle hand on his shoulder, reaching up to ruffle his hair. Zisteau paused, before relaxing into her motherly touch.
He nearly sighed in disappointment when she drew away, going over to the living room to check on Vechs. He was still curled up in a nest of blankets, still happily asleep. Zisteau was pretty sure Vechs wasn’t suppose to sleep that long, but he didn’t want to deny his brother the luxury of sleeping in a warm, safe place.
“So, how old are you?” Right before Zisteau was about to take in another mouthful of meat and bread, the question was asked, forcing him to think about it.
“I’m five,” he said after a moment of thought. “And two years. I think.”
Kappa frowned, putting down another plate on the table. “You don’t know how old you are?”
Zisteau shrugged through another mouthful of food. “I’m five and two years. Next year I suppose I’ll be five and three years.” He paused again. “I only know how to count to five.”
Kappa gasped. “Well that’s hardly right! Surely you must know your numbers, you’re seven years old.”
Zisteau pondered this. “Seven? Oh. I think Vechs is four. He’s younger than me,” he added unnecessarily, taking another huge bite.
Just then, the Grand Master appeared, dressed in formal clothing. He looked a bit hurried, as he grabbed a piece of bread from the table, pecking Kappa on the cheek quickly. “I’ll be back later,” he told his wife. “King needs to see me, do a report on the details of the hunt.” He looked at Zisteau. “I expect you’ll still be here when I return, yes? I don’t particularly like the idea of you two boys going back onto the streets, although there’s really nothing I can do to stop you two from going. However my door is open, and my wife really does adore you. Think about it, Zisteau.” The Grand Master smiled, before ducking out the door.
Zisteau stared, blinking slowly, caught in a daze. It was only when Kappa rubbed his thin shoulders gently. "Let's see about getting you some proper day wear and waking up your brother, shall we?” she said, with a gentle smile on her face. Zisteau could only nod, decisions warring in his head.
What should he do?
Chapters:
Prologue
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
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Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:35 am (UTC)Nope. Too long.
But you know, 'evil' Vechs is adorable too.
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Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:36 am (UTC)But we focus on babby!Vetches here. <3
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Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:22 am (UTC)Moar? Moar! <3
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Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:32 am (UTC)Oh, and it's "when wasn't he?" or "when was he not?" instead of "when was he wasn't?"
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Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:35 am (UTC)"When was he wasn't"... Good god. >.<
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Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 03:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 05:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 06:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 11:40 am (UTC)LOVE IT!
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Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 06:22 pm (UTC)I mean... Ummm... Nice writing!
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Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 07:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 07:18 pm (UTC)(It feels especially odd, since Pauls wive is so well known.) Allright then. Feedbacktime!
As a suggestion: your sentence The woman – Kappa - hurried away, presumably to draw a bath. could need a slight edit. As the name was mentioned just before that, you should have something like - aparently named Kappa - insdead of just the name again. Or not have the interversion at all. Otherwiese it feels odd to read. And in this particular case actually makes it feel like she's actually a female Kappa, as in the creature Kappa XD'
She wrapped him with warm towels, and a promise to get him proper clothes later.
I don't know if you intended it that way, but I find the thought of wraping someone in a promise rather interesting. Alltough standing alone this has more of a negative touch.
The food isn’t going anywhere
This exact wording is used by Kappa twice. Without an emphasis on it, this simply feels repetitive.
There are also two other things that bother me.
First, Pauls wive asks no questions? At all? I can understand that she's the type to be busy with the children first, but once they are asleep...
Actually, now that I think about it, Paul never confirmed them to be orphans. He probabbly assumed, but in rough times it is just as likely that the still have parrents who can't provide them enough.
Second would be the bodily reaction to warm food. Correct me if I'm wrong, but neither Zisteau nor Vechs have had something warm to eat in quite a while, did they? Yes, you were very carefull in choosing the most harmless and easy to digest food in this condition, but even then there would have been at least a slight sickness.
We don't get to see a whole lot of development in this chapter, but you've introduced us to an other importand character as well as set up Zisteau on the decision he will eventually have to make, so that's good =D
I'm still looking forward to find out more about what kind of timeperiod-ish and area-ish this actually takes place in; we don't know a whole lot about that yet. I'm also curious what the King will be like ^^
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Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 07:44 pm (UTC)'The woman - Kappa -' refers to Zisteau's mindset, kind of. (Although he can't've possibly known she was gonna go do something pertaining to drawing a bath but shhhh.) He's been referring to her as the woman, suddenly, she has a name. So mentally, he's correcting himself.
:3
I'll probably touch on that more in Chapter 2. Paul will probably do some rooting around off-paper, something like that, maybe.
Okay, about that warm food thing. I really don't like... That stuff. I can do blood, and gore, and death, and suffering. But... Yeah. I don't deal with... Bodily reaction to food. The thought of that is really honestly very revolting to me, and I just - yeah. I don't like thinking about it, especially not writing about it. The thing where Paul is offering food to Vechs and Zisteau and they're basically wolfing it down is pretty much as far as I'm willing to go. Even that was hard to write. I'm not gonna go further - I was careful in choosing food, but that's about it.
Edit: Basically the idea of someone being sick is just urrrgh, y'know? Thinking about it now is actually making me a bit queasy in class so I'm gonna stop. But yeah, you'll never see any of that from me. And if you do, someone probably wrote it for me. >.<
:D
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Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 10:01 pm (UTC)Really? ôo I've never heard anyone say that. Learned something new here as well Xb
But that is a good argument against making note of this, I suppose. At least you didn't forget about it XD
And I didn't realize that that part of the story was supposed to be Zisteaus mindset as you switch between perspektive and outside telling. (Something I still tend to do myself a lot; you slip into that without noticing sometimes XD') It can sometimes be used as an effective way of telling, but the drawback are situations like these Xb
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Date: Saturday, March 8th, 2014 12:01 am (UTC)^^;
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Date: Friday, March 7th, 2014 08:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, March 8th, 2014 12:02 am (UTC)