More Than a Beast Chapter 2 (K/Z)
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mindcrackloveMore Than a Beast
Chapter 1: Violence
Chapter 2: Clearing the Air (You are here)
Author's note: A bunch of you seemed to really like this, so I thought I'd try to get ch 2 up ASAP. :D
Please remember, concrit helps! Especially here, as I'm concerned some of the choices Z makes are possibly out-of-character... I think I justified them properly, but I'm really nervous, so I'm second-guessing myself like a madwoman! ^_^;
No warnings on this chapter, really, but the story in general has warnings for Violence, possible NSFW (later) and now I'm considering the possibility of character death. (Y'know... Because I'm eeeeeeeeeeeeeevil.)
Also, kappa77 drew this! A nice, spoiler-free little doodle! Have a look, show them some love! <3
On to the chapter!
~~~~~~<3~~~~~~
Over the next couple of days, Zisteau tried to keep his mind off the incident by throwing himself at his work, pouring over building plans and outlines of future pranks, taking and re-taking inventory of his supplies, and, whenever possible, going mob hunting.
Because, in spite of it having caused this issue in the first place, he still could not help but find some comfort in his bloodlust.
It was in his nature to enjoy the fight. Ingrained in his very DNA. As much as he tried to forget what he was, he was still a Zombie Pigman. And with that came an unspoken passion for battle.
Out in the darkness, clad in armour, sword in hand, cleaving through the enemy ranks. It was where he belonged. Every slice, every stab, every kill brought him grim satisfaction. Passion welled up inside him for every foe that fell to his prowess. The feel of the blade in his hand, the sight of the enemy's blood, the smell of sweat and death.
It made him feel alive.
And that terrified him.
There had to be more to him than that. Was he just a servant of his most basic instincts? He thought he had overcome that. He thought he had grown so that the answer to that question could be yes. Look at all he had accomplished. He was an artistic, skillful builder. He was careful and meticulous in all of his planning, whether it be for battle or for construction.
He thought he had become more than just a Zombie Pigman. Now, he wasn't so sure.
Sighing, he swept the plans on his drawing table aside, rising from his chair and heading for the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of belgian ale and looked at his clock.
4:30 am.
It seemed this would be yet another sleepless night. And not for lack of trying. When he did try to sleep he found himself plagued by the worries that he buried under his work. Worries of what would become of him and Kurt.
In fact, anytime he did something where he could zone out, be it chopping trees or harvesting sand, or grinding experience, he found his worries returning to the surface.
But he wanted to give Kurt some space. Give him time to think for himself on what had transpired. Perhaps the Farlander would come to the conclusion that what had happened was an accident. Something neither he, nor Zisteau had any control over.
But was that entirely true?
Zisteau shook his head and took another sip of his ale, hoping to find the answer at the bottom of the glass.
~~~~~~<3~~~~~~
Kurt looked over his injuries in the mirror, wincing as he touched the still tender bruise that had by this point become a deep purple.
He sighed as he held a cool, damp cloth to it, admitting that there was something that hurt far worse than the wound itself: The one who inflicted it.
He had no idea that Zisteau was so... Unstable. That he had so little control over his urges. Perhaps it was because they had never been in very many situations of that nature... Surrounded by many enemies. They had been thrown together in Ultra Hardcore but... No, there was no comparing those instances. Though he shuddered to think what may have happened had they seen any real combat before Zisteau fell.
The last thing Kurt wanted to admit to himself was that he now feared the Nether-dweller who had been one of the few who befriended him on the server. He didn't have much in common with many of the others, and he wasn't very outgoing. Truth be told, if he and the Zombie Pigman hadn't been randomly thrown together, they may never have become as close as they had.
And they had become very close. Which made both the wound on his face, and the one on his heart burn all the more.
He sat on his bed and sighed again, at a loss for what to do. He wasn't sure he could go anywhere near Zisteau again, after what had happened. He was too afraid, as much as he wished he wasn't. The last thing he wanted was to completely abandon their friendship. To burn the bridge and cut all ties with the friend who understood him so well.
But, as he lay down to sleep for the night, he realized he could see no other alternatives.
~~~~~~<3~~~~~~
One week after the incident, and the Zombie Pigman found himself boating through the swamp toward the missile silo.
He had tried to give Kurt as much time as he could, but he was a man of action. He could no longer sit idly by when he felt there was something further he could do to remedy the situation.
One thing was for sure: He needed to clear the air between him and Kurt. To try and explain himself, apologize and, hopefully, salvage what was left of their friendship. He had to try. At best, perhaps Kurt could come to trust him again, and they just wouldn't go caving together anymore... Or get into any other shenanigans that involved the threat of combat. And at worst...
At worst he would lose a friend.
His blood ran cold and his throat tightened as he thought about it. He forced the worries from his mind as he approached the shore of the mountainous region. Pulling his boat onto the shore, he began to look at the hill in front of him for the secret entrance he knew was there. It took him a minute, but he found it, and dug away the dirt concealing the passage, making sure to replace it once he was inside.
He made his way down the hall and to the large, cavernous area the Farlander had excavated, allowing himself a small smile at the lava river that was still there... That Kurt had left there just for him.
"Z-Zisteau?"
The Nether-dweller's head snapped up, his gaze meeting Kurt's and softening, though the smile faded from his face.
"Hey, buddy." He said quietly, raising a hand in a half-hearted wave. "Can I, uh... Come in?"
He saw the other's throat work as he swallowed hard, clearly nervous, just from his presence. For a long moment, Kurt was silent and Zisteau was almost certain he would be turned away. But just before the Pigman turned to leave, the Farlander nodded and motioned for him to come have a seat in the protected staging area.
He took his seat and Kurt came from the small kitchen area with a small glass of whiskey for each of them, sitting across the makeshift table, gripping his glass tight with both hands.
Zisteau took a sip, letting it dance on his tongue while he tried to find where to begin. He wanted to just cut to the chase, say what needed saying and leave Kurt to mull it over, but now that he was here, he found it wasn't that simple. The words he had so carefully pieced together and rehearsed jumbled in his mind and stuck in his throat.
"Listen, Kurt..." He began with a sigh. "I'm... Really sorry... About what happened. I thought... I thought I had myself under control... It's been years since something like this has happened... Years..." He took another sip to calm his nerves. "I... I really wish I could guarantee you, with absolute certainty, that something like this won't happen again. I really do, but... I can't..."
Kurt kept his eyes glued to his glass, swirling it a little as he listened. "Zisteau..." He said quietly. "I really wish I could say otherwise but... After what happened... I'm just... Not sure I can trust you... Even sitting here... Across from you in this calm environment... I have to admit I'm... Afraid... I wish I wasn't... I wish I wasn't such a coward but I am..."
"You're not a coward Kurt, you're one of the bravest people I know-" Zisteau tried to say, already starting to panic. Kurt cut him off.
"But I am, Zisteau. I'm a coward and I'm afraid of you. And because of that I just... I don't think..." The explorer couldn't even finish the sentence his throat tightening and tears threatening to prick at his eyes.
The Pigman stared at his hands, which had begun to shake. "No... This isn't happening..." He tried to convince himself. "Kurt... Please..." He pleaded quietly as the cold grasp of fear tightened around his heart.
"I'm sorry..." Kurt managed to croak out, still not meeting his friend's gaze.
Zisteau stood, walking away from the table and storming to the doorway, but stopping himself, breathing and trying to calm down.
After a few deep breaths he started to speak, but the words sounded far harsher than he intended. "Dammit, Kurt don't you think I'm trying? I'm trying to be more than just... This. I'm trying not to let my urges rule my life! LOOK AT ME!" He screamed turning on the Farlander suddenly, who nearly jumped out of his chair, eyes wide with fear.
"I know I'm this way! I've been this way since I came here, since I left the Nether, and I've tried not to let it rule me. But in spite of everything it has. Why do you think I built the Lens? So high up above everything, so far out of the way? I built it to keep the people I care about safe. I Isolate myself, to keep my friends from being subjected to... To this!" He gestured to himself frantically, breathing heavy.
"I'm a goddamned Zombie Pigman, Kurt. I try not to be, but I am. Please, don't ask me to be more than I am. Please don't say that we can't... Because I'm..." He turned away, stopping in the doorway again to wipe the tears from his eyes.
"I'm sorry..." He said again. "I shouldn't have come here. I won't... I won't bother you again. You'll be safe now... You don't have to be afraid... I want that for you... Even if it means I leave."
Kurt couldn't bring himself to stop the Pigman as he left, no matter how much he wanted to. He wanted to call him back, to take back everything he said... But he couldn't.
With every step Zisteau took away from Kurt, the Nether-dweller could feel another tiny piece of his heart breaking.
What he didn't know was that the Farlander's heart was breaking too.
Chapter 4!
Chapter 5!
Chapter 6!
Chapter 1: Violence
Chapter 2: Clearing the Air (You are here)
Author's note: A bunch of you seemed to really like this, so I thought I'd try to get ch 2 up ASAP. :D
Please remember, concrit helps! Especially here, as I'm concerned some of the choices Z makes are possibly out-of-character... I think I justified them properly, but I'm really nervous, so I'm second-guessing myself like a madwoman! ^_^;
No warnings on this chapter, really, but the story in general has warnings for Violence, possible NSFW (later) and now I'm considering the possibility of character death. (Y'know... Because I'm eeeeeeeeeeeeeevil.)
Also, kappa77 drew this! A nice, spoiler-free little doodle! Have a look, show them some love! <3
On to the chapter!
~~~~~~<3~~~~~~
Over the next couple of days, Zisteau tried to keep his mind off the incident by throwing himself at his work, pouring over building plans and outlines of future pranks, taking and re-taking inventory of his supplies, and, whenever possible, going mob hunting.
Because, in spite of it having caused this issue in the first place, he still could not help but find some comfort in his bloodlust.
It was in his nature to enjoy the fight. Ingrained in his very DNA. As much as he tried to forget what he was, he was still a Zombie Pigman. And with that came an unspoken passion for battle.
Out in the darkness, clad in armour, sword in hand, cleaving through the enemy ranks. It was where he belonged. Every slice, every stab, every kill brought him grim satisfaction. Passion welled up inside him for every foe that fell to his prowess. The feel of the blade in his hand, the sight of the enemy's blood, the smell of sweat and death.
It made him feel alive.
And that terrified him.
There had to be more to him than that. Was he just a servant of his most basic instincts? He thought he had overcome that. He thought he had grown so that the answer to that question could be yes. Look at all he had accomplished. He was an artistic, skillful builder. He was careful and meticulous in all of his planning, whether it be for battle or for construction.
He thought he had become more than just a Zombie Pigman. Now, he wasn't so sure.
Sighing, he swept the plans on his drawing table aside, rising from his chair and heading for the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of belgian ale and looked at his clock.
4:30 am.
It seemed this would be yet another sleepless night. And not for lack of trying. When he did try to sleep he found himself plagued by the worries that he buried under his work. Worries of what would become of him and Kurt.
In fact, anytime he did something where he could zone out, be it chopping trees or harvesting sand, or grinding experience, he found his worries returning to the surface.
But he wanted to give Kurt some space. Give him time to think for himself on what had transpired. Perhaps the Farlander would come to the conclusion that what had happened was an accident. Something neither he, nor Zisteau had any control over.
But was that entirely true?
Zisteau shook his head and took another sip of his ale, hoping to find the answer at the bottom of the glass.
~~~~~~<3~~~~~~
Kurt looked over his injuries in the mirror, wincing as he touched the still tender bruise that had by this point become a deep purple.
He sighed as he held a cool, damp cloth to it, admitting that there was something that hurt far worse than the wound itself: The one who inflicted it.
He had no idea that Zisteau was so... Unstable. That he had so little control over his urges. Perhaps it was because they had never been in very many situations of that nature... Surrounded by many enemies. They had been thrown together in Ultra Hardcore but... No, there was no comparing those instances. Though he shuddered to think what may have happened had they seen any real combat before Zisteau fell.
The last thing Kurt wanted to admit to himself was that he now feared the Nether-dweller who had been one of the few who befriended him on the server. He didn't have much in common with many of the others, and he wasn't very outgoing. Truth be told, if he and the Zombie Pigman hadn't been randomly thrown together, they may never have become as close as they had.
And they had become very close. Which made both the wound on his face, and the one on his heart burn all the more.
He sat on his bed and sighed again, at a loss for what to do. He wasn't sure he could go anywhere near Zisteau again, after what had happened. He was too afraid, as much as he wished he wasn't. The last thing he wanted was to completely abandon their friendship. To burn the bridge and cut all ties with the friend who understood him so well.
But, as he lay down to sleep for the night, he realized he could see no other alternatives.
~~~~~~<3~~~~~~
One week after the incident, and the Zombie Pigman found himself boating through the swamp toward the missile silo.
He had tried to give Kurt as much time as he could, but he was a man of action. He could no longer sit idly by when he felt there was something further he could do to remedy the situation.
One thing was for sure: He needed to clear the air between him and Kurt. To try and explain himself, apologize and, hopefully, salvage what was left of their friendship. He had to try. At best, perhaps Kurt could come to trust him again, and they just wouldn't go caving together anymore... Or get into any other shenanigans that involved the threat of combat. And at worst...
At worst he would lose a friend.
His blood ran cold and his throat tightened as he thought about it. He forced the worries from his mind as he approached the shore of the mountainous region. Pulling his boat onto the shore, he began to look at the hill in front of him for the secret entrance he knew was there. It took him a minute, but he found it, and dug away the dirt concealing the passage, making sure to replace it once he was inside.
He made his way down the hall and to the large, cavernous area the Farlander had excavated, allowing himself a small smile at the lava river that was still there... That Kurt had left there just for him.
"Z-Zisteau?"
The Nether-dweller's head snapped up, his gaze meeting Kurt's and softening, though the smile faded from his face.
"Hey, buddy." He said quietly, raising a hand in a half-hearted wave. "Can I, uh... Come in?"
He saw the other's throat work as he swallowed hard, clearly nervous, just from his presence. For a long moment, Kurt was silent and Zisteau was almost certain he would be turned away. But just before the Pigman turned to leave, the Farlander nodded and motioned for him to come have a seat in the protected staging area.
He took his seat and Kurt came from the small kitchen area with a small glass of whiskey for each of them, sitting across the makeshift table, gripping his glass tight with both hands.
Zisteau took a sip, letting it dance on his tongue while he tried to find where to begin. He wanted to just cut to the chase, say what needed saying and leave Kurt to mull it over, but now that he was here, he found it wasn't that simple. The words he had so carefully pieced together and rehearsed jumbled in his mind and stuck in his throat.
"Listen, Kurt..." He began with a sigh. "I'm... Really sorry... About what happened. I thought... I thought I had myself under control... It's been years since something like this has happened... Years..." He took another sip to calm his nerves. "I... I really wish I could guarantee you, with absolute certainty, that something like this won't happen again. I really do, but... I can't..."
Kurt kept his eyes glued to his glass, swirling it a little as he listened. "Zisteau..." He said quietly. "I really wish I could say otherwise but... After what happened... I'm just... Not sure I can trust you... Even sitting here... Across from you in this calm environment... I have to admit I'm... Afraid... I wish I wasn't... I wish I wasn't such a coward but I am..."
"You're not a coward Kurt, you're one of the bravest people I know-" Zisteau tried to say, already starting to panic. Kurt cut him off.
"But I am, Zisteau. I'm a coward and I'm afraid of you. And because of that I just... I don't think..." The explorer couldn't even finish the sentence his throat tightening and tears threatening to prick at his eyes.
The Pigman stared at his hands, which had begun to shake. "No... This isn't happening..." He tried to convince himself. "Kurt... Please..." He pleaded quietly as the cold grasp of fear tightened around his heart.
"I'm sorry..." Kurt managed to croak out, still not meeting his friend's gaze.
Zisteau stood, walking away from the table and storming to the doorway, but stopping himself, breathing and trying to calm down.
After a few deep breaths he started to speak, but the words sounded far harsher than he intended. "Dammit, Kurt don't you think I'm trying? I'm trying to be more than just... This. I'm trying not to let my urges rule my life! LOOK AT ME!" He screamed turning on the Farlander suddenly, who nearly jumped out of his chair, eyes wide with fear.
"I know I'm this way! I've been this way since I came here, since I left the Nether, and I've tried not to let it rule me. But in spite of everything it has. Why do you think I built the Lens? So high up above everything, so far out of the way? I built it to keep the people I care about safe. I Isolate myself, to keep my friends from being subjected to... To this!" He gestured to himself frantically, breathing heavy.
"I'm a goddamned Zombie Pigman, Kurt. I try not to be, but I am. Please, don't ask me to be more than I am. Please don't say that we can't... Because I'm..." He turned away, stopping in the doorway again to wipe the tears from his eyes.
"I'm sorry..." He said again. "I shouldn't have come here. I won't... I won't bother you again. You'll be safe now... You don't have to be afraid... I want that for you... Even if it means I leave."
Kurt couldn't bring himself to stop the Pigman as he left, no matter how much he wanted to. He wanted to call him back, to take back everything he said... But he couldn't.
With every step Zisteau took away from Kurt, the Nether-dweller could feel another tiny piece of his heart breaking.
What he didn't know was that the Farlander's heart was breaking too.
So there it is! And yes, I know, it got worse :( But It has to get worse before it gets better! And I promise you, it WILL get better!
Thank you so much for all the encouragement! It's how I was able to crank out a second chapter, and start working on a third! I may be able to get that up tonight too, but I can't make any promises. All I can say is I'll try, and if it's not out tonight, there's always tomorrow!
Chapter 3!Chapter 4!
Chapter 5!
Chapter 6!
no subject
Date: Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013 12:28 am (UTC)Poor both of them! I hope they kiss [ ;) ] and make up soon ITHOUT any death because THAT is cruel.
-kappa :3
no subject
Date: Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013 12:33 am (UTC)*cries*
I really hope they get back together <3
no subject
Date: Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013 12:41 am (UTC)My tears man, they just poured out, I love the emotion you put into this story
I adore you as a writer. Please never stop!
I'm so emotional right now.. <3 ;-;
no subject
Date: Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013 01:47 am (UTC)others have said it too, but i love k/z and i'm ecstatic at the direction you're taking this
my eyes teared up at the end of this chapter, and that is a GOOD thing
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
no subject
Date: Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013 05:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013 09:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013 10:22 am (UTC)Edit - And I thought I wrote fast, hehe ^_^
no subject
Date: Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013 03:21 pm (UTC)Aww Z D: Poor guy, he's trying hard. Hope he manages to get himself under control.