Impossible
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016 04:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ruddiestbubbles posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
mindcrackloveSometimes, something might seem impossible, but you do them anyway, because you have to.
Wrote this for Animalia over on wattpad
"Heyo Kurt!" Zisteau says boisterously as he entered the observatory, only slightly startling the shy man.
"Hey, Zisteau." Kurt replied nervously, his blue eyes briefly flickering to his obnoxious friend, or he was, cause Kurt didn't know what to consider him anymore.
"Ready for some stargazing?"
"Indeed." Kurt says with a hesitant smile.
Kurt lead Zisteau up through the observatory and into the dome, which was slightly open, like usually. He laid down on the ground, staring up at the night sky. He would usually love stargazing, and love trying to find as many constellations as possible, but that just, wasnt happening tonight, not when Zisteau was by his side. He usually loved being around Zisteau, he was a great friend, but what they had, was driving him crazy.
They were friends with benefits. At first, he loved it, he loved every single thing about it, but lately, not so much. Obviously he liked what they did, but that's not the part of it that bugged him. It was the fact that Zisteau never stayed. It wad only heated kisses followed by fucking then he'd leave. It hadn't mattered for the longest time, but he liked Zisteau, a lot, and wanted what they had to be on a more personal level. He wanted a relationship. He wanted soft kisses and hugs, and being able to cuddle with Zisteau. He wanted to fall asleep in Zisteau arms and wake up beside him.
He was an idiot. He should not have gotten himself into this situation. But, here he was. He wanted Zisteau to like him back, and he occasionally thought that maybe he could with the flirting, but he wasn't sure anymore. Some nights, they'd share light kisses, but those never lasted long, but they brought him some hope. He sighed internally, why did I go and fall for him?
"You're awfully quiet, you okay?" Zisteau questions, pulling the shy man from his thoughts.
He shrugs. "I guess, just a lot on my mind."
"Are you still up for tonight then?"
He glanced at his friend. "Yeah, sure."
Zisteau gives him a curious glance. "We really don't have to if you're not feeling up to it."
But I do want this Zisteau; I want every bit of it and more, but you're not willing to give me the relationship I want. "Its fine, Zisteau, really."
"Alright, just making sure."
Why is he so cute? He asked himself, looking back up to the stars. He wanted Zisteau all to himself, but they weren't exclusive by any means, though he wished they were. He wanted to be able to express his true feelings, but he just felt like he couldn't, it felt impossible. It felt like he was going crazy, constantly trying to ignore these feelings, which only got stronger and stronger after each night Zisteau visited. Being honest with feelings was like a game, one that lasted forever; one you were constantly playing.
Everything was weighing him down, his feelings, stress, Zisteau, just everything, and he finally felt himself snap. "I can't do this." He said as he sat up, burying his face in his hands.
"What?" Zisteau asked, sounding thoroughly confused.
"I can't keep doing this Zisteau, not when I'm falling for you and you don't seem to even like me back, you only want me for my body, and I just can't take it!" He rambled out, tears falling from his blue eyes.
Zisteau just sat, staring, looking confused.
"I don't just wanna be your fuck buddy anymore Zisteau, I want to be your boyfriend..." It seemed impossible, yet he did it because he had to, if not, he'd surely go crazy. He didn't look at Zisteau, unable to meet his gaze, which he'd get lost in.
An arm was wrapped around him, causing him to tense up. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
He looked up at Zisteau between his fingers, his teary blue eyes meeting Zisteau's blue-green, which held a gentle look. "I-I thought you wouldn't like me too.... Then I wouldn't even have what we had..."
"Kurt, I've liked you for a long while now. I never told you because I thought you surely couldn't like me."
That earns a breathy laugh. "I like you so much..... I-I.." He rambled, but was cut off by soft lips pressing against his own.
He kissed back almost immediately, out of reflex. But, this kiss, unlike many others, was soft, gentle, sweet, everything he'd ever wanted and more. They eventually parted, their gaze instantly finding each other.
"Kurt, will you be my boyfriend?" Zisteau asked, unable to stop smiling.
"Yes." Kurt replied, moving in to kiss his boyfriend again.
Being honest about your feelings is like a game, you play and you play until you don't have to play anymore. And the idea of not having to play and dance around those feelings, may seem impossible, but it'll happen if you put your mind to it.
Wrote this for Animalia over on wattpad
"Heyo Kurt!" Zisteau says boisterously as he entered the observatory, only slightly startling the shy man.
"Hey, Zisteau." Kurt replied nervously, his blue eyes briefly flickering to his obnoxious friend, or he was, cause Kurt didn't know what to consider him anymore.
"Ready for some stargazing?"
"Indeed." Kurt says with a hesitant smile.
Kurt lead Zisteau up through the observatory and into the dome, which was slightly open, like usually. He laid down on the ground, staring up at the night sky. He would usually love stargazing, and love trying to find as many constellations as possible, but that just, wasnt happening tonight, not when Zisteau was by his side. He usually loved being around Zisteau, he was a great friend, but what they had, was driving him crazy.
They were friends with benefits. At first, he loved it, he loved every single thing about it, but lately, not so much. Obviously he liked what they did, but that's not the part of it that bugged him. It was the fact that Zisteau never stayed. It wad only heated kisses followed by fucking then he'd leave. It hadn't mattered for the longest time, but he liked Zisteau, a lot, and wanted what they had to be on a more personal level. He wanted a relationship. He wanted soft kisses and hugs, and being able to cuddle with Zisteau. He wanted to fall asleep in Zisteau arms and wake up beside him.
He was an idiot. He should not have gotten himself into this situation. But, here he was. He wanted Zisteau to like him back, and he occasionally thought that maybe he could with the flirting, but he wasn't sure anymore. Some nights, they'd share light kisses, but those never lasted long, but they brought him some hope. He sighed internally, why did I go and fall for him?
"You're awfully quiet, you okay?" Zisteau questions, pulling the shy man from his thoughts.
He shrugs. "I guess, just a lot on my mind."
"Are you still up for tonight then?"
He glanced at his friend. "Yeah, sure."
Zisteau gives him a curious glance. "We really don't have to if you're not feeling up to it."
But I do want this Zisteau; I want every bit of it and more, but you're not willing to give me the relationship I want. "Its fine, Zisteau, really."
"Alright, just making sure."
Why is he so cute? He asked himself, looking back up to the stars. He wanted Zisteau all to himself, but they weren't exclusive by any means, though he wished they were. He wanted to be able to express his true feelings, but he just felt like he couldn't, it felt impossible. It felt like he was going crazy, constantly trying to ignore these feelings, which only got stronger and stronger after each night Zisteau visited. Being honest with feelings was like a game, one that lasted forever; one you were constantly playing.
Everything was weighing him down, his feelings, stress, Zisteau, just everything, and he finally felt himself snap. "I can't do this." He said as he sat up, burying his face in his hands.
"What?" Zisteau asked, sounding thoroughly confused.
"I can't keep doing this Zisteau, not when I'm falling for you and you don't seem to even like me back, you only want me for my body, and I just can't take it!" He rambled out, tears falling from his blue eyes.
Zisteau just sat, staring, looking confused.
"I don't just wanna be your fuck buddy anymore Zisteau, I want to be your boyfriend..." It seemed impossible, yet he did it because he had to, if not, he'd surely go crazy. He didn't look at Zisteau, unable to meet his gaze, which he'd get lost in.
An arm was wrapped around him, causing him to tense up. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
He looked up at Zisteau between his fingers, his teary blue eyes meeting Zisteau's blue-green, which held a gentle look. "I-I thought you wouldn't like me too.... Then I wouldn't even have what we had..."
"Kurt, I've liked you for a long while now. I never told you because I thought you surely couldn't like me."
That earns a breathy laugh. "I like you so much..... I-I.." He rambled, but was cut off by soft lips pressing against his own.
He kissed back almost immediately, out of reflex. But, this kiss, unlike many others, was soft, gentle, sweet, everything he'd ever wanted and more. They eventually parted, their gaze instantly finding each other.
"Kurt, will you be my boyfriend?" Zisteau asked, unable to stop smiling.
"Yes." Kurt replied, moving in to kiss his boyfriend again.
Being honest about your feelings is like a game, you play and you play until you don't have to play anymore. And the idea of not having to play and dance around those feelings, may seem impossible, but it'll happen if you put your mind to it.
no subject
Date: Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016 10:46 pm (UTC)-Observing Anon
no subject
Date: Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016 11:33 pm (UTC)sadie lady reading because boredome
Date: Wednesday, May 4th, 2016 11:53 am (UTC)