A Blind World Chpt. 12
Friday, March 11th, 2016 08:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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mindcrackloveIts been a long while since we've had a chapter of this, isn't it? Well here we go with chapter 12, in which Zisteau and Kurt have a serious talk and many emotions are felt.
Zisteau sat quietly beside Kurt, who held his hand, trying to reassure him, though he was doubtful he actually could. Zisteau felt numb, nothing made sense to him. Not even the words of parting that the priest spook from in front of the ornate casket, where his beautiful mother's body lay. The crowds of people all sitting in chairs that had been set up hours before, some crying, some hugging their beloved ones, some looking bored.
He himself wore a look of sadness, his blue-green eyes dull, his lips set in a thin line, and his cheeks dampened from tears. Of course he was a prince, and he was supposed to be strong, but his mother had died, and he'd almost lost his love, he has every reason to be sad. Many among those, the fact that he may have a terrible disease that could kill him. He hadn't told Kurt. He didn't know how to, or when to, or if he even could. He didn't want to worry his already worrying partner.
"Prince Zisteau, would you like to say a few words?" The Priest asked gently, a knowing look on his face.
Zisteau nodded briefly, squeezing Kurt's hand gently before walking up to stand where the priest had been.
He cleared his throat, hoping to be able to talk around the lump that was forming in his throat. "My mother was an amazing person. She supported me through everything. She wasn't just a great queen, she was a great mother and wife too. I'm very saddened by her sudden passing, we all are, but I know she's in a better place, watching over all of us." He tried to be heartfelt as he spoke, but it was very difficult with so many emotions piling upon him, weighing him down.
He shakily went to sit back beside Kurt, who looked worried.
"You ok?"
He shook his head sadly. He knew Kurt was worried about him. He knew just how much this was affecting Kurt too. But he couldn't help how he felt, and he couldn't help that it was hurting Kurt. He didn't want Kurt to be worried or hurt, but he just couldn't help it. After a while, when the public part of the funeral had ended, and all the guests had meandered back to their homes, Zisteau hugged Kurt tightly, burying his face in his shoulder as he cried. Kurt hugged back tightly, rubbing his back, hoping to comfort him.
Guude watched sadly as Zisteau cried onto Kurt's shoulder. He didn't know what to do anymore. His beautiful wife was dead. His only son may have the same disease as Aurey had. He felt lost. The night of the ball, he had felt like he had finally found the right path. But now, now he felt like he'd lost that path again.
"Guude....." Came a quiet, hesitant voice, pulling Guude from his thoughts.
He glanced to where the voice had been and saw Bdubs. "Boo?" He questioned with a strained voice.
Bdubs opened his arms, offering the upset king a hug. He accepted and buried his face in bdubs chest, as he was much taller then Guude. He let the tears finally fall, feeling somewhat ok in Bdubs' strong arms.
"What am I gonna do?" He asked, his voice barely a whisper.
"I don't know Guude, I really don't." Came Bdubs' reply.
A long, long while later, long after everyone had left, except for Kurt, Zisteau, Bdubs, and Guude, he stepped away from Bdubs, his face tear stained.
"Does this mean we can be together again?" Bdubs asks, hesitsncy in his voice.
"Maybe.... But I can't be in another relationship.... Not yet."
"I understand... I just miss you.... So much."
"I know Boo. I know. I miss you too.... But I loved her, so so much."
"More than you ever loved me?" Came the sad question as tears glistened in Bdubs' brown eyes.
"Boo. I've always loved, you know that. And even when I loved Aurey, I still had feelings for you."
Bdubs let out a sigh. "Whenever your ready... I'll be waiting for you.... Always."
Bdubs walked away, looking disappointed, but he knew he shouldn't have asked. He knew it was too soon, but he just couldn't help it. He loved Guude, so much. He just wanted his lover back, for it had been far too long.
Zisteau pulled away from Kurt, to see his father in Bdubs' arms. He stared in disbelief. He knew Guude had loved Bdubs, but how could he already be over Aurey? It had only been a few days.
"How-how can he already be moving on?"
Kurt glances over to where Zisteau had been looking. "I don't know Zisteau..... I'm sorry...."
Zisteau's shoulders slump. "I just.... I can't believe him...."
"Zisteau." Kurt says sternly, but gently. "No matter what, remember I'm here here for you and I love."
"I love you too."
Zisteau leaned in, letting their lips meet, so they could share a kiss, one that felt just as magical as the first. After he pulled away, he held Kurt close, needing the comfort it brought him, for he needed all the comfort he could get.
A long while later, after they had said their final goodbyes, they headed back to the castle, where a somber mood hung in the air. Kurt headed off to go freshen up in Zisteau's room, though it was more or less their room now. Zisteau ran into his father, not literally, and he saw the tear streaked face.
"I can't believe you!" Zisteau says bitterly.
"What?" Guude asks, looking rather confused.
"Its barely been three days and you've already moved on..."
"I haven't moved on.... I told Bdubs no... I wasn't ready for that yet. I can't just move on from Aurey like that... I loved her."
All of Zisteau's anger faded quickly as sadness set back in. "Oh.... I'm so sorry...."
"No, son, its ok. Your upset, you have every reason to be. We both do." Guude offers Zisteau a hug, which is quickly accepted.
They both knew it would be extremely hard for both of them from here on out. But maybe, just maybe they'd be ok if they stayed strong as a family. That's what Aurey had meant, Guude realized. She knew it was going to happen and that's why she said the Zisteau would be able to get through it. Guude knew she was a wise woman, but that made her seem all the more so.
"Uh.... Zisteau..." Came a quiet, hesitant voice.
"Kurt....?" Zisteau asked quietly.
"I don't mean to interupt... But uh.... Are you gonna come to bed?"
That made a small smile tug at Zisteau's lips. "Yeah, of course. Goodnight, father."
"Goodnight Zisteau."
Zisteau took Kurt's hand in his own and they walked towards their room.
"He didn't move on." Zisteau said off-handedly.
"Oh?"
"He said it was too soon."
"That's good, right?"
"I think so... I mean.... Its his decision in the end. But I just overreacted. I put my feelings before his." Zisteau says with a sigh.
"No, Zisteau its ok. You were upset, its understandable. You just have to let him make his own decision."
"I know."
"Just keep an open mind, ok?"
"I will, I promise."
Once they reached the room, Zisteau closed the door behind them and pulled off his shirt, tossing it to the side. Kurt stared at Zisteau's bare chest. Zisteau sent him a small smile, tugging him closer. He kissed Kurt, loving the feeling of Kurt's hands roaming his bare chest, and the way his heart fluttered at the contact. He pulled away to catch his breath, and blue-green met blue-red. The look of our love, trust, and honesty in those beautiful blue-red eyes made his heart pang with guiltiness.
"Can we just head to bed?" Zisteau asks, trying desperately to shove that feeling of guilt aside.
"Of-of course, Zisteau."
As they lied down cuddled against each other, that guilt continued to eat away at Zisteau, causing him to toss and turn, which disrupted Kurt's sleep.
"Zisteau what's wrong? You've been acting weirder than usual at least."
"Its nothing..." Zisteau lied, hoping beyond hope Kurt wouldn't question it.
"Please don't lie to me Zisteau. I can't be with someone who's gonna lie to me." Kurt said, sound so honest.
"Kurt.... My mother... She had a heart disease, its what killed her.... And I may also have it..." He didn't want to talk Kurt, he didn't want him to worry anymore than he already was.
"Oh..... I-I.... How do you know for sure that you have it?"
"I don't actually know if I do. I haven't been through the tests yet... But I'm scared Kurt... What if I have it? I don't want to loose you... I love you so much..."
"We'll-We'll just have to work through it if it does happen Zisteau... But I hope you don't... I can't loose you too. I love you too much."
And that's where their conversation came to an end. It was quiet, as Zisteau wrapped his arms around Kurt and laid his head on Kurt's chest, trying desperately to find the comfort he needed from his lovers presence.
Zisteau sat quietly beside Kurt, who held his hand, trying to reassure him, though he was doubtful he actually could. Zisteau felt numb, nothing made sense to him. Not even the words of parting that the priest spook from in front of the ornate casket, where his beautiful mother's body lay. The crowds of people all sitting in chairs that had been set up hours before, some crying, some hugging their beloved ones, some looking bored.
He himself wore a look of sadness, his blue-green eyes dull, his lips set in a thin line, and his cheeks dampened from tears. Of course he was a prince, and he was supposed to be strong, but his mother had died, and he'd almost lost his love, he has every reason to be sad. Many among those, the fact that he may have a terrible disease that could kill him. He hadn't told Kurt. He didn't know how to, or when to, or if he even could. He didn't want to worry his already worrying partner.
"Prince Zisteau, would you like to say a few words?" The Priest asked gently, a knowing look on his face.
Zisteau nodded briefly, squeezing Kurt's hand gently before walking up to stand where the priest had been.
He cleared his throat, hoping to be able to talk around the lump that was forming in his throat. "My mother was an amazing person. She supported me through everything. She wasn't just a great queen, she was a great mother and wife too. I'm very saddened by her sudden passing, we all are, but I know she's in a better place, watching over all of us." He tried to be heartfelt as he spoke, but it was very difficult with so many emotions piling upon him, weighing him down.
He shakily went to sit back beside Kurt, who looked worried.
"You ok?"
He shook his head sadly. He knew Kurt was worried about him. He knew just how much this was affecting Kurt too. But he couldn't help how he felt, and he couldn't help that it was hurting Kurt. He didn't want Kurt to be worried or hurt, but he just couldn't help it. After a while, when the public part of the funeral had ended, and all the guests had meandered back to their homes, Zisteau hugged Kurt tightly, burying his face in his shoulder as he cried. Kurt hugged back tightly, rubbing his back, hoping to comfort him.
Guude watched sadly as Zisteau cried onto Kurt's shoulder. He didn't know what to do anymore. His beautiful wife was dead. His only son may have the same disease as Aurey had. He felt lost. The night of the ball, he had felt like he had finally found the right path. But now, now he felt like he'd lost that path again.
"Guude....." Came a quiet, hesitant voice, pulling Guude from his thoughts.
He glanced to where the voice had been and saw Bdubs. "Boo?" He questioned with a strained voice.
Bdubs opened his arms, offering the upset king a hug. He accepted and buried his face in bdubs chest, as he was much taller then Guude. He let the tears finally fall, feeling somewhat ok in Bdubs' strong arms.
"What am I gonna do?" He asked, his voice barely a whisper.
"I don't know Guude, I really don't." Came Bdubs' reply.
A long, long while later, long after everyone had left, except for Kurt, Zisteau, Bdubs, and Guude, he stepped away from Bdubs, his face tear stained.
"Does this mean we can be together again?" Bdubs asks, hesitsncy in his voice.
"Maybe.... But I can't be in another relationship.... Not yet."
"I understand... I just miss you.... So much."
"I know Boo. I know. I miss you too.... But I loved her, so so much."
"More than you ever loved me?" Came the sad question as tears glistened in Bdubs' brown eyes.
"Boo. I've always loved, you know that. And even when I loved Aurey, I still had feelings for you."
Bdubs let out a sigh. "Whenever your ready... I'll be waiting for you.... Always."
Bdubs walked away, looking disappointed, but he knew he shouldn't have asked. He knew it was too soon, but he just couldn't help it. He loved Guude, so much. He just wanted his lover back, for it had been far too long.
Zisteau pulled away from Kurt, to see his father in Bdubs' arms. He stared in disbelief. He knew Guude had loved Bdubs, but how could he already be over Aurey? It had only been a few days.
"How-how can he already be moving on?"
Kurt glances over to where Zisteau had been looking. "I don't know Zisteau..... I'm sorry...."
Zisteau's shoulders slump. "I just.... I can't believe him...."
"Zisteau." Kurt says sternly, but gently. "No matter what, remember I'm here here for you and I love."
"I love you too."
Zisteau leaned in, letting their lips meet, so they could share a kiss, one that felt just as magical as the first. After he pulled away, he held Kurt close, needing the comfort it brought him, for he needed all the comfort he could get.
A long while later, after they had said their final goodbyes, they headed back to the castle, where a somber mood hung in the air. Kurt headed off to go freshen up in Zisteau's room, though it was more or less their room now. Zisteau ran into his father, not literally, and he saw the tear streaked face.
"I can't believe you!" Zisteau says bitterly.
"What?" Guude asks, looking rather confused.
"Its barely been three days and you've already moved on..."
"I haven't moved on.... I told Bdubs no... I wasn't ready for that yet. I can't just move on from Aurey like that... I loved her."
All of Zisteau's anger faded quickly as sadness set back in. "Oh.... I'm so sorry...."
"No, son, its ok. Your upset, you have every reason to be. We both do." Guude offers Zisteau a hug, which is quickly accepted.
They both knew it would be extremely hard for both of them from here on out. But maybe, just maybe they'd be ok if they stayed strong as a family. That's what Aurey had meant, Guude realized. She knew it was going to happen and that's why she said the Zisteau would be able to get through it. Guude knew she was a wise woman, but that made her seem all the more so.
"Uh.... Zisteau..." Came a quiet, hesitant voice.
"Kurt....?" Zisteau asked quietly.
"I don't mean to interupt... But uh.... Are you gonna come to bed?"
That made a small smile tug at Zisteau's lips. "Yeah, of course. Goodnight, father."
"Goodnight Zisteau."
Zisteau took Kurt's hand in his own and they walked towards their room.
"He didn't move on." Zisteau said off-handedly.
"Oh?"
"He said it was too soon."
"That's good, right?"
"I think so... I mean.... Its his decision in the end. But I just overreacted. I put my feelings before his." Zisteau says with a sigh.
"No, Zisteau its ok. You were upset, its understandable. You just have to let him make his own decision."
"I know."
"Just keep an open mind, ok?"
"I will, I promise."
Once they reached the room, Zisteau closed the door behind them and pulled off his shirt, tossing it to the side. Kurt stared at Zisteau's bare chest. Zisteau sent him a small smile, tugging him closer. He kissed Kurt, loving the feeling of Kurt's hands roaming his bare chest, and the way his heart fluttered at the contact. He pulled away to catch his breath, and blue-green met blue-red. The look of our love, trust, and honesty in those beautiful blue-red eyes made his heart pang with guiltiness.
"Can we just head to bed?" Zisteau asks, trying desperately to shove that feeling of guilt aside.
"Of-of course, Zisteau."
As they lied down cuddled against each other, that guilt continued to eat away at Zisteau, causing him to toss and turn, which disrupted Kurt's sleep.
"Zisteau what's wrong? You've been acting weirder than usual at least."
"Its nothing..." Zisteau lied, hoping beyond hope Kurt wouldn't question it.
"Please don't lie to me Zisteau. I can't be with someone who's gonna lie to me." Kurt said, sound so honest.
"Kurt.... My mother... She had a heart disease, its what killed her.... And I may also have it..." He didn't want to talk Kurt, he didn't want him to worry anymore than he already was.
"Oh..... I-I.... How do you know for sure that you have it?"
"I don't actually know if I do. I haven't been through the tests yet... But I'm scared Kurt... What if I have it? I don't want to loose you... I love you so much..."
"We'll-We'll just have to work through it if it does happen Zisteau... But I hope you don't... I can't loose you too. I love you too much."
And that's where their conversation came to an end. It was quiet, as Zisteau wrapped his arms around Kurt and laid his head on Kurt's chest, trying desperately to find the comfort he needed from his lovers presence.
Tags:
- fanfiction,
- fiction length: multiple chapters,
- former mindcracker: bdubs,
- genre: angst,
- genre: drama,
- genre: family,
- genre: hurt/comfort,
- mindcracker: aureylian,
- mindcracker: guude,
- mindcracker: kurt,
- mindcracker: zistykins,
- pairing: m/f,
- pairing: m/m,
- setting: alternate universe,
- warning: mention of/ character death
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Date: Saturday, March 12th, 2016 02:08 am (UTC)-Observing Anon
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Date: Saturday, March 12th, 2016 03:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, March 12th, 2016 07:11 am (UTC)-the lurkiest lurker
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Date: Saturday, March 12th, 2016 07:59 am (UTC)-Observing Anon
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Date: Saturday, March 12th, 2016 02:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Saturday, March 12th, 2016 04:07 pm (UTC):( Aurey's funeral...
At least Bdubs is there so that Guude has someone to comfort him apart from Zisteau.