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[personal profile] ruddiestbubbles posting in [community profile] mindcracklove
Hope is a burden and a blessing, it's something everyone finds out eventually.

Dezeray awoke to a soft beeping of a heart monitor. She slowly opened her eyes, groaning as the bright light hurt her head. A white ceiling. A hospital. The crash. She shot up, suddenly terrified and worried as tears started running down her face. She ripped the IV out of her arm, which caused her to wince and the heart monitor to go crazy. But, that didn't even begin to make her care. She rushed for the door, but was quickly stopped as nurses and a doctor ran into the room.

"Phew..... you're okay. Thank god." One of the nurses, one Dezeray recognized from her last visit here, said.

"Where's MC? Is he okay? He's gotta be okay." Dezeray says desperately, trying to get out of the door.

One of the nurses stopped her. "Dezeray, you have to get back in bed, you shouldn't be up and moving yet." She says gently.

"But MC...." Dezeray says as she dissolves into sobs, collapsing against the closest nurse and sobbing onto her shoulder.

"Go get Kurt and Zisteau." The nurse whispered as she stroked Dezeray's hair, trying to calm the upset girl.

"It's okay Dezeray, it's okay." She murmured, trying so desperately to comfort the girl, though she was positive she was failing.

"Dez!" Zisteau says excitedly, hugging her tightly, allowing the nurse to step back. "Im so glad you're okay! We were so worried."

Dezeray just hugged Zisteau tightly. "Where-where's MC?" She questions quietly, so terribly worried.

Zisteau glances at Kurt and the nurse who stood by them, they both shrugged. "Come with me sweetie." Zisteau says gently, taking her hand.

They walk out into the hallway together, hand in hand. "Dez, sweetie, I just want you to know that no matter what, we love you." Zisteau says, handing Dezeray something.

It was her ring. The promise ring MC had given her. She slipped it on her finger and squeezed Zisteau's hand tightly as they approached a room with a closed door. Zisteau squeezes her hand and gives her a sympathetic but encouraging look. Dezeray takes a deep breath and opens the door with a shaky hand. She shakily walked to the side of the bed where MC lay, his body bruised and bandaged. The tears continued to fall as she just stared in horror as everything came crashing down. A car crash. Her parents died. A car crash. MC is hurt.

"He's in a coma sweetie." Zisteau says gently, offering Dezeray a hug.

Dezeray collapsed against him, crying onto his shoulder. "Is-is he gonna be okay?" She asks, her voice barely a whisper.

"I don't know Dezzy, I really don't." Zistesu says gently, knowing she needed to hear the truth instead of being comforted with a lie.

"Why does this have to happen?"

"I have no idea Dez."

"I've already had so much taken from me.... I can't loose him dad! I love him so much!" She sobs.

"I know Dez, I know."

"I-I can't live without him."

"Just stay strong Dezeray, just stay strong."

Dezeray just nodded as Zisteau lead her back to her own room, where a nurse was waiting, a knowing and sad look on her face. Dezeray curled up on her side on her bed and cried. She cried and cried until she just couldn't cry anymore.

She had thought everything was going so well. She was finally talking to her best friend again. She was in the best relationship she'd ever had. She was in love with the sweetest, kindest guy ever. She had the best, most supportive parents ever. She thought everything was going perfectly. She had thought nothing could go wrong, that everything was laid out for her and she could finally, truly be happy, that nothing could take that happiness from her.

But god was she wrong. She had finally let go of everything that had held her down, that had kept her falling into darkness. But it only takes a single moment for everything to be taken away from you, for everything to become dark again. She'd experienced it so many times, too many. She had just wanted to be happy, to finally live happily and be in love and have everything she wanted. But that wasn't what her life was. No, her life wasn't perfect with rainbows and unicorns, it was darkness with little bits of light that constantly kept teasing her, making her feel like she could actually live happily.

But it was all a big lie. She kept trying and trying just for everything to be taken away from her, for her to begin falling into darkness again, where there's only two outcomes as you finally find the bottom, feathers or rocks. She just hoped it wouldn't be the latter of the two, she just hoped that she could find her way back to the light. Why did she constantly keep trying when she knew what was going to happen?

Have hope. Be strong. It'll be okay. All those things said, trying to bring her comfort, give her support, but for what? Trying to make the rocks seem a little softer? A little less painful? Everything was crumbling down and she didn't know what to do. She never did. No matter how much she'd learned, nothing could prepare her for this moment. Nothing could prepare her for the moment the love of her life was on the verge of death. Nobody knew when or if he'd wake up. No one knew if he'd be okay. No one knew if he'd make. She didn't either. She didn't know if he would ever be able to kiss her or hug her again.

All she could do was hope to god he'd be okay. Hope is a burden and a blessing she realized. It makes you believe that everything can be okay, but it can also make you blind to the fact that things aren't okay, and they might not ever be. But, all she could really do was hope. She stared at the purple gem'd ring on her finger, unable to look away. She just hoped MC kept his promise.

Date: Tuesday, February 16th, 2016 12:14 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I KNEW IT WOULD BE A COMA! *deep, calming, decompressing breath* Ok, I'm good now. Is it sad that Dezeray's world view kind of reflects mine? Because in the end, we're all just tiny specks of dust, waiting to crumble and reform in an endless cycle of the inevitable. Well, that's my depressing comment of the day!
-Observing Anon

Date: Tuesday, February 16th, 2016 09:35 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I feel so sorry for Dezeray. She keeps having happiness ripped from her without warning. I think the ring is helping, though. It truly was a wonderful idea.

Seriously, though, if we go through twenty five plus chapters of this and it ends with Dezeray being heartbroken again, I'm going to punch something. And then probably cry.

-the lurkiest lurker

Date: Tuesday, February 16th, 2016 01:04 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Heartless monster.

-the lurkiest lurker

Date: Tuesday, February 16th, 2016 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
That's understandable. In the end, we are our own demise.
-Observing Anon


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