Letting Go Chpt. 16
Saturday, January 23rd, 2016 09:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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mindcrackloveMaybe something simple can lead to a realization
Dezeray pulled on a long sleeve shirt, despite it being warm out. She fixed her hair and headed out into the kitchen and took a seat at the table, watching as Kurt makes breakfast and Zisteau makes coffee.
"Are you sure it's smart to go back to school already?" Zisteau questions as he sits in a chair, placing three coffee cups on the table.
"I have to get caught up or I won't get the credits for the classes." Dezeray responds, taking a drink from her cup.
"I know you do, but I mean, are you feeling okay enough to?"
"I'm feeling fine dad. I honestly haven't felt this good in a long time."
"Alright, but just call if you need picked up."
"I will, don't worry."
After they ate breakfast, Kurt and Dezeray headed out to the garage and got in the car, ready for their drive.
"I heard about MC." Kurt says, glancing sidelong at Dezeray.
"Dad told you?"
"Yeah, I think it's adorable, to be honest."
"I just don't know what to do about it though."
"Dez, if you really do like him, give him a chance."
"Yeah, maybe."
"Just be positive Dezzy, and enjoy your day." Kurt says as he pulls up to the curb outside of the school.
"Alright, thanks dad."
Dezeray gets out and heads in to the school, ignoring all the stares as she made her way to class. She noticed a distinct lack of Max, which she was very okay with. She honestly wasn't sure what she'd do if she saw him again. She'd probable break down and cry and go home and never leave her room again. She sat her stuff down and went up to the teachers desk, pushing all those thoughts aside.
"Excuse me miss, I need to know what I missed." Dezeray says politely.
"Ah Dezeray! It's great to see you back! How are you?"
"I'm doing fine."
"That's great. MC is gonna help you get caught up with all of your classes, and don't stress too much, you'll get caught up quickly, I'm positive of it."
"Thank you." Dezeray says before heading back to her seat, but before she could sit down, MC comes into the classroom, a huge smile appeared on his face as he saw her.
"Dezzy! I didn't except you back yet!" MC says cheerily.
"Yeah, I'm feeling okay enough to be here."
"That's great! I just knew you'd be ok." He says cheerily, though she could see that he was worried.
"MC." Dezeray starts, locking gazes with him. "Don't pretend for me, I know you're worried."
MC sighs, the fake smile falling into a frown. "I'm just worried about you."
"I know MC, and I'm so sorry."
"There's no reason to be sorry Dez." MC says with a small smile. "I just can't stop worrying about you. I care too much to." MC finishes, brushing hair out of her face.
Dezeray felt a pang in her heart as MC's fingers brushed against her temple. "No, I have every reason to be sorry." Dezeray starts, but gets cut off by the bell ringing.
"We'll talk after school, okay?"
Dezeray nods, sitting in her seat as the teacher started instructing. MC helped her along through the whole class, even though there was a slight tension that hung in the air. There was so much left unsaid, even when the words needed to be spoken and given to the other. There was so much left for the two to discuss, to finally let emotions be expressed.
It wasn't until third hour rolled around that Dezeray felt like she finally could get a break. Drawing, one of her favorite classes. The teacher had already gave her a pass on the project she'd missed, which she was thankful for. She sat with her earbuds in, the drawing of MC sitting in front of her. She grabbed her colored pencils, which Zisteau had given her, and started filling in the white spots, bringing color to the colorless page. She colored in his beautiful brown hair and his lips, which where a pale, red-ish color. He was honestly so beautiful, she found, staring at the drawing. She loved the way his hair fell; never quite perfectly. And the way his blue eyes shined with cheeriness.
"Dezeray. Wow, this is beautiful." The teacher says, catching Dezeray's attention.
She pulled out her earbuds, and looked to the teacher. "Thanks."
"It really captures the essence of innocence and peacefulness of sleep."
She hadn't thought of it like that, all it really was, was the cute boy who happened to be her best friend. But, maybe that was true, sleep showed innocence and peace. MC had plenty of innocence left. She briefly wondered what was left of hers, but quickly dismissed the thought, already knowing the answer.
"Yeah, it does." She agrees.
"Great work on this, really. Could I enter it in an art show?"
"Uh.... sure, I guess." Dezeray says.
"Great! I'm confident this will win a prize."
Dezeray smiled as she took one last look at the drawing. She handed it over to the teacher who smiled and walked off. Sometimes she didn't see the beauty in her work, but others did. Maybe that's what's it's like with MC. She doesn't see her own beauty, but he does.
She didn't happen to see MC at all during the rest of school. She didn't even see him as she made her way out to Zisteau's car.
"Hey Dez, how was a school?" Zisteau asked the distracted girl.
"It was okay."
"What's up, you seem distracted."
"I feel really bad.... MC is so worried about me."
"That's just who he is Dez, he'll probably always worry about you, as sad as that sounds."
"I know."
Dezeray grabbed her phone as it rang in her pocket.
MC: sorry I didn't see you, had to stay late. Can I come over? We need to talk.
Dez: Yeah, you can.
"MC's coming over." Dezeray said, glancing at Zisteau as they pulled in to the driveway.
"Okay, do you want some pizza for dinner then?"
"Sure."
"I'll order some, pineapple and ham, right?"
A smile tugs at Dezeray's lips. "Yeah."
"Still don't get how you like that, it sounds disgusting."
"It's really good, you should try some."
"I think I'll pass." Zisteau says with a goofy smile.
Dezeray gets out and heads into the house, throwing her bag on the couch. "I'll be in the art studio, can you send MC there when he gets here?"
"Yeah." Zisteau replies.
She head in and picks up a new canvas and sets it on an easel. She grabs a paint brush and some paint and starts painting; letting colors fill the blank canvas. She painted a sunset over the ocean, the reds, blues, oranges, pinks, and purples of the sunset all mixed and blended, creating something absolutely gorgeous. She tugged at her sleeves, trying to keep them from getting paint on them, but she ended up just pulling off the shirt and tossing it aside, leaving her in a form fitting white tank top. She ignored the bandages on her wrist and continued painting, occasionally smudging certain areas to mix colors.
"Hey Dezzy." Came a soothing voice from the doorway.
"Hey MC." Dezeray replied, glancing up from her painting briefly.
"Whatcha working on?"
Dezeray motioned for him to come over and see. "Trying to use small elements to create a bigger picture. Each color mixes and blends, creating the sky and the shimmer of color on the waves."
"It's really good."
Dezeray just shrugs. "Its just another painting."
"Can we talk?" MC asks, changing the subject suddenly.
"Yeah, pull up a stool."
MC does and sits, staring at Dezeray. "You were gonna say something this morning, what was it?"
"That I'm sorry."
"Dezeray, there is no reason to be sorry, and you know that."
"But there is MC. I'm just this pathetic broken girl who just happened to wander into your life and you've done nothing but worry about me since I first met you."
"Don't say that about yourself Dezeray! You are not pathetic. You may not be perfect, but pathetic and broken is not words you should use to describe yourself."
"How would you describe me then?"
"Beautiful, creative, amazing, sweet, brave, strong. And doesn't even scrape the surface."
"I'm none of those things."
"Look at the painting Dezeray." MC says gently. "You see how all the colors mix and combine together to make a beautiful bigger picture?"
"Yeah..."
"That's exactly like you. Different colors that all mix to make who you are, the beautiful bigger picture."
"I don't get how you see that."
"Because I don't see the tears and the scars and the years of pain. I see what's inside. I see the beautiful, creative, smart, strong girl who has been burdened with a lot, but she's still there Dezeray, you are."
Dezeray stares at MC incredulously. She didn't understand how he could see past any of that, all she was is a mess of a person.
"I know you can't see it Dezeray, but everyone else can, especially me."
Dezeray sighs, staring at her painting again, instead of MC. She saw all the colors, blending to make a beautiful picture. MC tried telling her that it was exactly like her, but she didn't understand. She thought back to all her other drawings and paintings. When she first started drawing, it had been simple, but still complex, and happy. Then it turned dark and dreary, with the occasional kinda happy one. Maybe MC was right. Each drawing added up to create who she was.
"Dezeray..... I didn't just want to discuss this.... I just want to know how you really feel. I don't care what you're going to say, I just wanna know."
Dezeray sighs, feeling like a war was raging on, her heart wanted one thing, but her brain was yelling at her, telling her something else. But, she did realize, MC wasn't Max.
"MC.... I-I love you..... but can we take this slow?"
MC's eyes shine with excitement and joy. "Of course!"
A smile tugged at Dezeray's lips as MC hugged her tightly, lifting her off of the stool she had been sitting on, and spinning her around, laughing, a real laugh, one she hadn't heard in a while, and pure joy on his face.
Dezeray giggled and was sat down, unable to help the fluttery feeling in her heart and the pure joy on MC's face made her feel all the more light. MC nuzzled his nose against hers, blue eyes meeting blue-green. Their foreheads rested against each others. That's when lips brushed against lips, before a real kiss, one that felt like the most magical thing in the world, as eyes fluttered shut and hands wrapped around hips and fingers tangled lightly in brown hair.
"Awww! Look at you two!" Came a cheery, joking voice.
Dezeray jumped back, having her mind being snapped back to reality. But she giggled as she saw Kurt leaning against the door frame, smirking slightly.
"Pizza's here if you two lovebirds would like to eat." Kurt says, pushing off the door frame and turning on his heal; walking back down the hallway.
Dezeray laughed, but stepped back and grabbed MC's hand, noticing how incredibly soft it was. "I hope you like pineapple and ham."
"I love pineapple and ham." MC says with a laugh.
Dezeray giggles. "That's a first."
MC squeezes Dezeray's hand, sending her a bright smile that actually portrayed happiness. Dezeray smiled back, a real smile, the first real smile in a long, long time.
Dezeray pulled on a long sleeve shirt, despite it being warm out. She fixed her hair and headed out into the kitchen and took a seat at the table, watching as Kurt makes breakfast and Zisteau makes coffee.
"Are you sure it's smart to go back to school already?" Zisteau questions as he sits in a chair, placing three coffee cups on the table.
"I have to get caught up or I won't get the credits for the classes." Dezeray responds, taking a drink from her cup.
"I know you do, but I mean, are you feeling okay enough to?"
"I'm feeling fine dad. I honestly haven't felt this good in a long time."
"Alright, but just call if you need picked up."
"I will, don't worry."
After they ate breakfast, Kurt and Dezeray headed out to the garage and got in the car, ready for their drive.
"I heard about MC." Kurt says, glancing sidelong at Dezeray.
"Dad told you?"
"Yeah, I think it's adorable, to be honest."
"I just don't know what to do about it though."
"Dez, if you really do like him, give him a chance."
"Yeah, maybe."
"Just be positive Dezzy, and enjoy your day." Kurt says as he pulls up to the curb outside of the school.
"Alright, thanks dad."
Dezeray gets out and heads in to the school, ignoring all the stares as she made her way to class. She noticed a distinct lack of Max, which she was very okay with. She honestly wasn't sure what she'd do if she saw him again. She'd probable break down and cry and go home and never leave her room again. She sat her stuff down and went up to the teachers desk, pushing all those thoughts aside.
"Excuse me miss, I need to know what I missed." Dezeray says politely.
"Ah Dezeray! It's great to see you back! How are you?"
"I'm doing fine."
"That's great. MC is gonna help you get caught up with all of your classes, and don't stress too much, you'll get caught up quickly, I'm positive of it."
"Thank you." Dezeray says before heading back to her seat, but before she could sit down, MC comes into the classroom, a huge smile appeared on his face as he saw her.
"Dezzy! I didn't except you back yet!" MC says cheerily.
"Yeah, I'm feeling okay enough to be here."
"That's great! I just knew you'd be ok." He says cheerily, though she could see that he was worried.
"MC." Dezeray starts, locking gazes with him. "Don't pretend for me, I know you're worried."
MC sighs, the fake smile falling into a frown. "I'm just worried about you."
"I know MC, and I'm so sorry."
"There's no reason to be sorry Dez." MC says with a small smile. "I just can't stop worrying about you. I care too much to." MC finishes, brushing hair out of her face.
Dezeray felt a pang in her heart as MC's fingers brushed against her temple. "No, I have every reason to be sorry." Dezeray starts, but gets cut off by the bell ringing.
"We'll talk after school, okay?"
Dezeray nods, sitting in her seat as the teacher started instructing. MC helped her along through the whole class, even though there was a slight tension that hung in the air. There was so much left unsaid, even when the words needed to be spoken and given to the other. There was so much left for the two to discuss, to finally let emotions be expressed.
It wasn't until third hour rolled around that Dezeray felt like she finally could get a break. Drawing, one of her favorite classes. The teacher had already gave her a pass on the project she'd missed, which she was thankful for. She sat with her earbuds in, the drawing of MC sitting in front of her. She grabbed her colored pencils, which Zisteau had given her, and started filling in the white spots, bringing color to the colorless page. She colored in his beautiful brown hair and his lips, which where a pale, red-ish color. He was honestly so beautiful, she found, staring at the drawing. She loved the way his hair fell; never quite perfectly. And the way his blue eyes shined with cheeriness.
"Dezeray. Wow, this is beautiful." The teacher says, catching Dezeray's attention.
She pulled out her earbuds, and looked to the teacher. "Thanks."
"It really captures the essence of innocence and peacefulness of sleep."
She hadn't thought of it like that, all it really was, was the cute boy who happened to be her best friend. But, maybe that was true, sleep showed innocence and peace. MC had plenty of innocence left. She briefly wondered what was left of hers, but quickly dismissed the thought, already knowing the answer.
"Yeah, it does." She agrees.
"Great work on this, really. Could I enter it in an art show?"
"Uh.... sure, I guess." Dezeray says.
"Great! I'm confident this will win a prize."
Dezeray smiled as she took one last look at the drawing. She handed it over to the teacher who smiled and walked off. Sometimes she didn't see the beauty in her work, but others did. Maybe that's what's it's like with MC. She doesn't see her own beauty, but he does.
She didn't happen to see MC at all during the rest of school. She didn't even see him as she made her way out to Zisteau's car.
"Hey Dez, how was a school?" Zisteau asked the distracted girl.
"It was okay."
"What's up, you seem distracted."
"I feel really bad.... MC is so worried about me."
"That's just who he is Dez, he'll probably always worry about you, as sad as that sounds."
"I know."
Dezeray grabbed her phone as it rang in her pocket.
MC: sorry I didn't see you, had to stay late. Can I come over? We need to talk.
Dez: Yeah, you can.
"MC's coming over." Dezeray said, glancing at Zisteau as they pulled in to the driveway.
"Okay, do you want some pizza for dinner then?"
"Sure."
"I'll order some, pineapple and ham, right?"
A smile tugs at Dezeray's lips. "Yeah."
"Still don't get how you like that, it sounds disgusting."
"It's really good, you should try some."
"I think I'll pass." Zisteau says with a goofy smile.
Dezeray gets out and heads into the house, throwing her bag on the couch. "I'll be in the art studio, can you send MC there when he gets here?"
"Yeah." Zisteau replies.
She head in and picks up a new canvas and sets it on an easel. She grabs a paint brush and some paint and starts painting; letting colors fill the blank canvas. She painted a sunset over the ocean, the reds, blues, oranges, pinks, and purples of the sunset all mixed and blended, creating something absolutely gorgeous. She tugged at her sleeves, trying to keep them from getting paint on them, but she ended up just pulling off the shirt and tossing it aside, leaving her in a form fitting white tank top. She ignored the bandages on her wrist and continued painting, occasionally smudging certain areas to mix colors.
"Hey Dezzy." Came a soothing voice from the doorway.
"Hey MC." Dezeray replied, glancing up from her painting briefly.
"Whatcha working on?"
Dezeray motioned for him to come over and see. "Trying to use small elements to create a bigger picture. Each color mixes and blends, creating the sky and the shimmer of color on the waves."
"It's really good."
Dezeray just shrugs. "Its just another painting."
"Can we talk?" MC asks, changing the subject suddenly.
"Yeah, pull up a stool."
MC does and sits, staring at Dezeray. "You were gonna say something this morning, what was it?"
"That I'm sorry."
"Dezeray, there is no reason to be sorry, and you know that."
"But there is MC. I'm just this pathetic broken girl who just happened to wander into your life and you've done nothing but worry about me since I first met you."
"Don't say that about yourself Dezeray! You are not pathetic. You may not be perfect, but pathetic and broken is not words you should use to describe yourself."
"How would you describe me then?"
"Beautiful, creative, amazing, sweet, brave, strong. And doesn't even scrape the surface."
"I'm none of those things."
"Look at the painting Dezeray." MC says gently. "You see how all the colors mix and combine together to make a beautiful bigger picture?"
"Yeah..."
"That's exactly like you. Different colors that all mix to make who you are, the beautiful bigger picture."
"I don't get how you see that."
"Because I don't see the tears and the scars and the years of pain. I see what's inside. I see the beautiful, creative, smart, strong girl who has been burdened with a lot, but she's still there Dezeray, you are."
Dezeray stares at MC incredulously. She didn't understand how he could see past any of that, all she was is a mess of a person.
"I know you can't see it Dezeray, but everyone else can, especially me."
Dezeray sighs, staring at her painting again, instead of MC. She saw all the colors, blending to make a beautiful picture. MC tried telling her that it was exactly like her, but she didn't understand. She thought back to all her other drawings and paintings. When she first started drawing, it had been simple, but still complex, and happy. Then it turned dark and dreary, with the occasional kinda happy one. Maybe MC was right. Each drawing added up to create who she was.
"Dezeray..... I didn't just want to discuss this.... I just want to know how you really feel. I don't care what you're going to say, I just wanna know."
Dezeray sighs, feeling like a war was raging on, her heart wanted one thing, but her brain was yelling at her, telling her something else. But, she did realize, MC wasn't Max.
"MC.... I-I love you..... but can we take this slow?"
MC's eyes shine with excitement and joy. "Of course!"
A smile tugged at Dezeray's lips as MC hugged her tightly, lifting her off of the stool she had been sitting on, and spinning her around, laughing, a real laugh, one she hadn't heard in a while, and pure joy on his face.
Dezeray giggled and was sat down, unable to help the fluttery feeling in her heart and the pure joy on MC's face made her feel all the more light. MC nuzzled his nose against hers, blue eyes meeting blue-green. Their foreheads rested against each others. That's when lips brushed against lips, before a real kiss, one that felt like the most magical thing in the world, as eyes fluttered shut and hands wrapped around hips and fingers tangled lightly in brown hair.
"Awww! Look at you two!" Came a cheery, joking voice.
Dezeray jumped back, having her mind being snapped back to reality. But she giggled as she saw Kurt leaning against the door frame, smirking slightly.
"Pizza's here if you two lovebirds would like to eat." Kurt says, pushing off the door frame and turning on his heal; walking back down the hallway.
Dezeray laughed, but stepped back and grabbed MC's hand, noticing how incredibly soft it was. "I hope you like pineapple and ham."
"I love pineapple and ham." MC says with a laugh.
Dezeray giggles. "That's a first."
MC squeezes Dezeray's hand, sending her a bright smile that actually portrayed happiness. Dezeray smiled back, a real smile, the first real smile in a long, long time.
no subject
Date: Sunday, January 24th, 2016 03:54 am (UTC)Eeeeheehee! :D
- Scara
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Date: Sunday, January 24th, 2016 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Sunday, January 24th, 2016 11:58 am (UTC)- Scara
no subject
Date: Sunday, January 24th, 2016 03:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Sunday, January 24th, 2016 08:31 pm (UTC)- Scara
no subject
Date: Sunday, January 24th, 2016 04:32 am (UTC)-Observing Anon
no subject
Date: Sunday, January 24th, 2016 05:09 am (UTC)I mean
What....
;)
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Date: Sunday, January 24th, 2016 06:30 pm (UTC)-Observing Anon
no subject
Date: Sunday, January 24th, 2016 07:11 am (UTC)And pineapple and ham pizza is delicious.
-the lurkiest lurker
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Date: Sunday, January 24th, 2016 08:34 am (UTC)-Observing Anon
no subject
Date: Sunday, January 24th, 2016 11:57 am (UTC)- Scara