Letting Go Chpt. 15

[ruddiestbubbles]

Maybe everything will be okay?


Dezeray glanced up from her bandaged wrists as she heard the door open. Zisteau walked in and smiled at her, though she could tell it was forced.

"Hey Dez.... we need to talk." Were Zisteau's words, and that worried her.

"Okay...."

He moved over and sat on the edge of the hospital bed. "The child care agency has contacted us and they say it may be best for you to be moved to a new family."

"What?" Dezeray asks confused, her stomach tying itself in knots.

"They think you'll be better off somewhere else. But they said its up to you."

"They.... want to move me again?"

"Yeah, but they told me that it's all up to you. If you feel uncomfortable here, then they'll move you. They've also requested that we get you into counseling."

"Do you want me to leave?" Dezeray asks sadly.

"Of course not! I'd never want you to leave, but it's your choice, don't let me or Kurt change your decision."

Dezeray was quiet for a minute, thoughts racing through her head. Did she really want to leave? Of course there was the terrible things that had happened here with Max. But MC was here and so was Kurt and Zisteau, her family, or who she called family. There was so much left for her here.

"I don't want to leave you guys.... you're like family..."

"You're positive?"

"Yes. I don't want to leave."

"Okay." Zisteau says with a hesitant smile. "But you'll have to have counseling and get some anti-depression medication."

"Counseling?"

"Yeah, I know that's the last thing you want, but it's only for two sessions, that's all they said they would require."

"Okay." Dezeray says, briefly glancing to the couch, where MC had fallen asleep. "When can I leave here?"

"Doctor said tomorrow, if you're feeling okay."

"Alright. Thank you dad."

"Thanks for what?"

"Not giving up on me, like every other foster parents I've had."

"I won't ever give up on you Dez, cause I see your potential, I see through the scars and the fake smiles. You have so much ahead of you, so much good, I can just tell."

Dezeray couldn't help the smile tugging at her lips and the tears that welled up in her eyes. "Thank you." she said, though her voice was basically inaudible.

Zisteau smiled kindly, offering Dezeray a hug. She accepted and hugged him tightly, very glad to have him in her life and have her back. He had so much faith in her, even when she had none left.

"Zisteau... I need some advice..." Dezeray says a little later.

"On what?"

"Well... MC told me he loves me...."

"Aww that's so cute!"

Dezeray blushes, but becomes really serious. "I-I love him too dad.... but-but I don't know how to handle this.... just the thought of being with someone makes me scared..... I don't want what happened with Max to happen again."

"Oh.... You gotta realize Dez, MC is way different than Max."

"I know...."

"I'm just gonna tell you this, Dezeray, it's your choice, but there's a boy sleeping over there who didn't sleep for two days because he was too worried, and he cried and cried and refused to leave your side. He cares so much about you Dez, I just want you to realize that. He's sweet and kind and wants nothing more than the best for you, which means if you don't want a relationship, then he will nurse his heartache to stay your friend. Just think it through, but just remember, he's not Max."

Dezeray glanced back over to the couch, seeing MC still sound asleep, his longish brown hair sticking up, making him look adorable. He looked so much younger, not that he didn't already look young, while asleep, so innocent and adorable looking. "Yeah... he's definitely not."

Zisteau sends her a small smile. "Why don't you get some rest, Kurt and I will be back first thing tomorrow. You should try to convince MC to go home and sleep, the poor thing can't be comfortable at all."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow."

Zisteau heads out with a wave. She hears a muffled conversation after the door closed. It wasn't quite late enough to sleep, and she wasn't all that tired, but she didn't know what to do, really. She actually didn't feel that sad. She didn't feel that constant pain on her heart, it felt like just a small pang.

Maybe she was turning over a new leaf. Maybe this was gonna be the one time she could truly be happy. Maybe all she needed was right in front of her, the adorable boy fast asleep on the couch. He was right there, and willing to give her everything, maybe she just needed to trust herself to make the right decision; to trust him. A knock sounded on the door, breaking Dezeray from her thoughts. A nurse entered, smiling kindly at Dezeray.

"Hi Dezeray, how are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling fine."

"That's good! Is he okay?"

"I think so, he's just kinda tired, after everything's that's happened in all."

"Yeah."

"Can you get me a piece of paper and a pencil?" Dezeray asks.

"Of course! I'll be back soon!"

She came back shortly, a pad of paper and a pencil in hand. "I hope this works! I'll have to change your bandages real quick."

"Okay."

The nurse changes the bandages, and for a moment, she could see the terrible cuts that ran across her wrists, but she looked away, not wanting to see it anymore. After the nurse left, Dezeray grabbed the paper and started drawing. Eventually, after an hour or so of drawing, she set it on the bedside table and curled up in the blankets, getting comfortable and quickly falling asleep.


MC awoke to the sun shining brightly through the window. He saw Dezeray sleeping peacefully on the bed, her beautiful auburn hair shining as the sunlight hit it. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful. She didn't look stressed at all, she looked whole, young, okay. She looked like she was finally okay, though he knew that she was still hurting.

He got up, stretching a kink out of his neck. He walked over towards Dezeray and picked up a pad of paper, a big smile forming on his face as he saw the drawing. It was of him asleep on the couch, a peaceful look on his face. It was beautifully drawn and just all around amazing. And, it wasn't sad, or depressing. He could tell she had been at least a little happy while drawing it.

He smiled as he turned his attention to the peacefully sleeping girl. He brushed some hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. He placed a kiss on her head. He saw a small smile tug at her lips, but she didn't wake. He couldn't keep the smile off of his face as he left the room, finally feeling like he could go home, that she might just be okay for once.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Awwww! Everything's going to be ok maybe probably possibly!
-Observing Anon

[ruddiestbubbles]

Maybe, probably, possibly? Suuuure think what you'd like ;)

[(Anonymous)]

*storms up to ruddiestbubbles and pops her* You are now in the same state as my hope bubble and happiness bubble. For once would someone just let me believe things will be ok in these incredibly heart-wrenching stories! Either give us hope or kill the character, but stop only half-giving us hope before you tell us it's all just an illusion and everything you told us in the chapter is wrong.
-Observing Anon

[ruddiestbubbles]

Ah, but the thing is, my dearest Anon, a story in which there are no moments of absolute heartbreak and loss of all hope, or moments of happiness and joy, would be terribly boring. So you must realize, I give you hope, only to crush it because it keeps you interested in the story, keeps you on the edge of your seat, keeps you always wanting more, and keeps the story interesting. But, one should always have hope, even when I've taken it all away from you, for hope, that's what keeps us moving forward after we've been beaten down and had our hearts broken.

[(Anonymous)]

I tried to have hope for other things. Let's just say some people died, some friendships broke, and my small town got four new neighborhoods with like 300 new houses right where a bunch of forest used to be. Yes, hope makes a story interesting, but at some point you kind of give up on it and either want a straight happy ending or everything else to go down in flames. With that thought, I hope you have a nice day, but just remember something terrible could happen at any moment. But it will all be ok, just makes the story of your life more interesting. *flashes vicious smile and cold dead eyes before disappearing* *echoing voice from a distance* Sorry, I'm an unstable anon!
-Observing Anon

[ruddiestbubbles]

I know, hope is a beautiful, yet terrible thing. It lets you believe in something and lets you be hopeful that it'll happen, but it also makes you cling to the thought that everything will be ok, even when it's not and you keep hoping only to get beaten down again and again. Thus, hope is something you should cherish and fear. But, having hope, lets you believe, and we all want to believe that great things will happen, so I will always have hope, even if it beats me down, I will always believe. But, it's your decision weather you want to keep having hope or not. I am also a person of mind games, always being very insightful, yet lacing of an actual explanation. For I know the destiny of this story, I have know since I first got the idea, but I won't tell you, for the fact that you wouldn't be left wondering and intrigued , so this being you left with hope that it'll end happy is all you have left in this situation.

[(Anonymous)]

Or I could stop reading here and come up with my own ending. Maybe in my mind, everything is ok for Dezeray for awhile, then a car crash kills her, or a natural disaster rips apart her world again, or she lives happily with Mc until she's old and dies of cancer. Maybe she wakes up from a comma to find her parents are still alive but Mc and Kurt and Zisteau never existed, or maybe things with Mc fall apart and she ends up killing herself for real this time, but Mc also suicides. Maybe I will continue to read the story, but when it ends badly I will reimagine it and make it happy. Because in my mind, spoiler alert, Dumbledore is still alive, Prim and Rue are still alive, the original Iirkolav is still alive. I have more than hope, I have the power to reimagine the world. Because the power to determine the direction of a story, the ending, lies not with the author, but the reader who chooses to believe the author.
-Observing Anon

[ruddiestbubbles]

Yes, but the actual stories ending lies in the authors hands, whether you believe the author or not, that's another story in and of itself. But it could go which ever way you'd like to think, because no one knows the true ending if the story but me, so believe what you'd like.

[(Anonymous)]

The thing is, I'd like to believe the real ending, whether it's good or bad, it's just... When the world starts to crumble, we hope for a better future, and we turn to our own imaginations to do that. We make up stories and scenes that give us hope. But when the stories we come up with are dark, it makes it hard to find hope. My stories are always dark, and I always see the world as crumbling. So when you see a story that's happy, and you think everything will be alright for the moment, then the next thing the author says implies that the happiness in the story is very temporary, you just kinda... wonder why you would bother with writing something happy before you shoot it down, not even within the actual story itself, just the footnotes. Why bother with hope? That's the hardest question to answer in a world that's always trying to rip itself apart. I am a sad anon.
-Observing Anon

[ruddiestbubbles]

The world may always be trying to rip itself apart and always be crumbling down, but why we always have hope, that my anon, is because we will always believe that things will get better. And we will always strive to make things better because we believe they can be better and will be, because our hearts will always strive for that, because we always believe, even when believing seems illogical. Because that's just how we are, we as humans will always try and try and try to have hope and continue believing even when there really isn't anything left

[(Anonymous)]

You posted a story on the 26th of December that contradicts that statement. Kurt gave up hope and died in Hope, and in this story Dezeray gave up hope, slit her wrists and dried to die. We don't always have hope. We're just stubborn. And afraid. We believe things will be ok because we can't face the alternative. We hope because without it, life is just death. Life is the real murderer. There is no outrunning it or beating it. Hope is just the naieve barrier between the inevability of problems and death. I am a depressing anon.
-Observing Anon

[ruddiestbubbles]

That is very true, but in Hope, Kurt momentarily lost hope, but he got it back. I have no other way to describe it, you've pretty much nailed it XD

[(Anonymous)]

Do you realize this is the first even semi happy chapter in this fifteen chapter story? Sad, Bubbles, sad. But yay for things starting to get better!

-the lurkiest lurker

[ruddiestbubbles]

There were SOME happy moments before! And it's supposed to be sad, that was whole premise of the story!

[(Anonymous)]

Yay for a bit of happiness in the story :)

- Scara

[ruddiestbubbles]

Ah, but the question is, will that happiness stay?

[(Anonymous)]

Please let this story have a happy ending Bubbles (::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)

- Scara

[ruddiestbubbles]

I can't promise anything Scara ;)