Saturday, December 26th, 2015 01:50 am
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[personal profile] ruddiestbubbles posting in [community profile] mindcracklove
When your the only one left believing. The only one left with hope. How do you hold that weight? The one where your the strongest one, even though you seem the weakest. How, do you keep hoping and hoping when there's no hope left?

Hope. That's what they'd always told him. Always have hope, even in the darkest of times. He'd always seen the bad in people, but more importantly, the good. No matter how bad someone seemed, he always had hope that the good in them would overcome the bad. He'd always had hope that the world would be a great place. He always believed, and that was something everyone loved about him.

But, how do you keep having hope if the world around you is crumbling down? Now, that's the real question, one that constantly plagued his mind as he took punch after punch. As he endured whipping after whipping. As he was left beaten, broken, and battered. He wondered why they didn't just end it all. Why they didn't just take him away from this never ending pain. Though he knew they wouldn't, for he had information they wanted, and he wasn't willing to give it to them, for he had hope that the others would come for him. He, throughout everything, had kept that spark of hope within him. Even though he was threatened. Even though he was beaten and left close to death daily. He never gave up hope, for that's all he had left. Hope that everything would be ok, even though he knew they would be back soon, that they'd take him and beat him again.

Just like he predicted, he heard the heavy footsteps as the person, who's name he never learned, came down the old stone hallway. He knew what was going to happen, yet he was oddly calm, like always. He knew freaking out and struggling would only make it worse.

"You gonna tell us?" The person asks as they reach his cell.

He snorts. "Do you really have to ask?"

"You never know. You could change your mind."

"Ha. Like that'd ever happen."

The person unlocks the cell door and roughly grabs the tattered and torn collar of his shirt, pulling him roughly off the cold stone ground. The person drags him along as they head down a long hallway, one he had gotten to know well. He had been dragged down this hallway more times than he could count, sadly enough. He was shoved, rather harshly, onto the sole wooden chair in a room with only one exit.

The person leaves, after strapping him to the chair, leaving him to his thoughts. Mentally he could take what was to come. He could, and would, do anything to protect his family and friends. But, physically, he didn't know if he could take much more. He was so sore, tired, and broken. He was also incredibly thin. They, whoever they were, weren't feeding him close to enough. He was lucky if he got a small hunk of bread and some water everyday. Honestly, he was so weak, so fragile, but he couldn't give up. He couldn't let everyone he cared about down.

The only door to the room is slammed closed, causing his head to shoot up. He eyed the Tormenter, as he'd come accustomed to calling him, calmly. As you'd imagine, the Tormenter was big and bulky. He wore all dark clothes and has a tool belt, full of different types of knifes and blades. The Tormenter was very intimidating, but it didn't bother him anymore. It was actually a sight he was used to by now.

"So, Kurt, are you gonna tell me where your 'group' has hidden it?" The Tormenter asks.

"Nope." The man, Kurt, says calmly.

"Are you sure?"

Well, that was new. He'd never questioned Kurt further. That greatly worried Kurt. But, what else could they possibly do? They'd already tortured him in every known way, or at least the ones he could think of.

"Yes." Kurt says, trying to remain calm, though calm was the last thing he was.

The Tormenter grabs a long bladed knife, running his finger along the gleaming silver surface. "I know exactly what your doing. Your trying to be strong. Your trying to convince me that your ok. But I know your not. Have you looked at yourself recently? Your bruised and broken. Your pale and turning to skin and bone. You don't think that I don't see the shakiness every time you move. Or the way you can never quiet sit still anymore, even though you don't have enough energy to." He throws Kurt a pointed look. "You. Your just a weak coward, one who's trying to not only convince me, but yourself, that your strong. That you'll be able to take anything and everything I throw at you. But the thing is, your not. Your weak and broken. Your nothing more than a shame excuse of a person."

Kurt just stares at the Tormenter, the words hitting hard. He wasn't weak, but even he was having a hard time believing it. Even if he was weak, he wasn't going to tell them where it was. He refused. He wouldn't betray his friends. But more importantly, his family, he couldn't do that to them, he wouldn't. It would break his heart. But, Kurt also knew that if he told them, they'd dispose of him. Then he'd really let them all down.

The Tormenter runs the blade across Kurt's cheek, leaving a thin scarlet line. "See, your scared." He taunts. "YOUR NOTHING MORE THAN A SCARED, BROKEN PERSON WHO'S SO WEAK." He yells, punctuating the last word with a hard slap to the face.

Kurt recoiled in pain, but tried to look calm, though it was hard. Even the little he'd already done hurt. He was so weak physically, but he had to stay strong. He had to keep hoping, for that's literally all he had left.

The Tormenter continued on and on. It wasn't until Kurt was slumped in the chair with his vision swimming that he stopped. Kurt ended up back in his cell, though he honestly wasn't sure how. But, as soon as his battered body hit the ground, he was out.

"Shhh, Dez, it's ok. Go back to bed honey." Kurt says, giving the young girl a hug.

"But I'm scared daddy!" Dezeray sobs, hugging Kurt tightly.

"It's only a thunderstorm."

"But it's scary daddy..... what if it gets worse?"

"It won't sweetie. Now go back to bed. Everything will be fine, I'm positive of it."

"Ok daddy, I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie." Kurt says, kissing Dezeray's head.

"The storm?" Zisteau asks as Dezeray heads to her room, Kitty and Wolfie clutched in her arms.

"Yeah. Poor thing is having anxiety because of it." Kurt replies.

"Sounds like someone I know." Zisteau says teasingly.

"Your lucky I love you." Kurt says, wrapping his arms Zisteau's waist, gently tugging him closer.

"I am lucky to have you."

"Don't get all sappy on me now."

Zisteau laughs. "I love you red and blue."

"I love you too."

A blurry stone wall came into view as consciousness seeped into Kurt's aching body. He groaned. It was all a dream, yet it felt so real. He felt like he was back home with his beautiful daughter and his amazing husband. He wanted to be there. He wanted his family back. He missed his husbands unconditional love. To be honest, he missed everything about Zisteau. He'd give almost anything to be back with him, them. It brought tears to his eyes, which made them sting. He brought a shaky, scarred hand up to wipe away the few stray tears that had fallen.

Seeing them in his dreams gave him hope, but waking up and seeing that god damn stone wall crushed that hope, no matter how hard he tried to protect it. Now matter how hard he tried to keep the flame lit. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Always have hope, he reminded himself. He had to have hope, for if he lost it, he'd surly loose himself.

"Get up you lazy ass." Comes a booming voice with a hard kick to the gut.

Kurt gasped for air as the wind was knocked out of him. He was quickly pulled up by a mysterious person and lead from the cell harshly. The movement made Kurt feel sick and caused his vision to swim. He was tied to a chair in a different room than usual. It felt far too early for this, though he didn't know what time it was. He hadn't been feed yet either, which was odd.

"Tell me where it is Kurt." The Tormenter says harshly after he enters the room.

"No. I'll never tell you." Kurt says calmly.

"Are you sure that's a wise choice?" The Tormenter says, stepping to the side.

"DADDY!" Came the shrill shriek of a terrified young girl.

Kurt's eyes shot to the barred wall in front of him. His little girl was being held, a knife to her neck.

"Dezeray!" Kurt shouts, struggling against his restraints. "DON'T HURT HER!"

"Tell me where it is!"

Kurt was so conflicted. He couldn't tell them. But, he couldn't let his little girl get hurt.

"Hurt her and I'll never tell you." Kurt says coldly.

"Do it." The Tormenter says.

All Kurt could do was sob as the deafening scream rang in his ears. Dezeray fell to the ground, gasping as blood pooled around her. The Tormenter forced Kurt to watch as Dezwray bleed out on the dirty stone floor. He watched as the light faded from her beautiful blue-green eyes that were full of terror. He watched as her white dress turned crimson, becoming soaked with blood.

"Dezeray." Kurt whispered as he slumped in defeat and tears started falling down his pale, scarred cheeks.

The Tormenter grabbed Kurt's chin roughly, forcing Kurt to look at him. "Tell. Me. Where. It. Is." He demands.

Kurt glares at him. "Never."

Kurt payed for that with a whip to the stomach. Kurt clenched his teeth and cried silently as the whip hit over and over again, leaving welts and cuts that would never fully heal.

Kurt was roughly thrown back in his cell. His head hit the ground hard. He knew he would go unconscious soon, but that was the least of his concerns. He heard a man shouting orders in the distance.


Kurt hugs his knees to his wounded chest. His daughter was dead. He watched her bleed out. And, it was all his fault. Kurt slipped into a dreamless sleep, that small flicker of hope becoming dimmer.

Kurt awoke to see the same damn stone wall. His stomach growled and his throat was extremely dry. He was already feeling the affects of not eating, he had little energy. He didn't feel like he would be able to move at all. He had too keep fighting. For Dezeray.

It felt like weeks had passed before Kurt was tied to that damn chair again. By then, Kurt was too weak to even walk a few feet. But, he hadn't given up, and he wouldn't. He promised himself he'd be strong. He promised himself he'd keep having hope, for that's all he had left.

"I'm gonna ask you one more time Kurt. Where is it?" The Tormenter asks coldly, obviously very tired of Kurt's persistence.

"... No...." Kurt croaks out.

"Fine. Have it your way." The Tormenter says, running a blade down Kurt's bare chest, re-opening the wounds from the whipping he'd received an undeterminable time ago.

Kurt winced as blood dripped down his pale skin. He was too weak to even try to stop himself from trembling. He had no energy left. None at all.

The shout of Kurt's name had Kurt's head snapping up. That voice. Oh god no. Kurt felt tears welling up as scared blue-green eyes meet dull blue ones.

"...Z....Zisteau..." Kurt sobbed out.

"Kurt!" Zisteau yells, fighting against the rope his wrists were tied together with.

"One more time Kurt. Where. Is. It." The Tormenter says, anger and annoyance lacing his voice.

Kurt's eyes darted back to Zisteau. He couldn't let Zisteau die. He couldn't watch the love of his life die. Kurt opened his mouth to tell the Tormenter where it was, but Zisteau shook his head sadly, his eyes sending Kurt a silent message. 'Don't Kurt. It's not worth saving me for it. They can't know.'

"Never." Kurt whispers in defeat.

"I love you red and blue." Were Zisteau's last words before his neck was snapped and his body fell limp.

"Zisteau...." Kurt whispered almost inaudible as he starred at his lover, unable to look away.

"YOUR A BIG FUCKEN IDIOT!" The Tormenter shouts, bashing Kurt's head with with the hilt of a knife.

The next thing Kurt saw was a stone wall and a small piece of bread and a cup of water. Kurt shocked down the bread and chugged the water, thankful to have anything. But, as soon as it hit his stomach, it immediately came back up as the images of Dezeray and Zisteau filled his mind. Nothing could ever fix the damage that had been done to Kurt. Nothing.

Kurt didn't have the energy, or the will, to keep going, so he curled up in a ball and cried himself to sleep. And, as his vision faded to black, so did that spark of hope. Which left Kurt with absolutely nothing left, for you can only have hope for so long before you've been through too much to continue believing.

"Kurt....". A faint voice drifted to Kurt as his eyes slowly opened.

"Kurt...?" Kurt didn't see a stone wall, but a white ceiling.

Kurt was instantly worried and scared. He brought his arms up to cover his face. "Don't.... Don't hurt me." Kurt pleaded hoarsely.

Kurt didn't care if he sounded weak. He didn't care anymore. He'd lost everything that he'd ever loved and he'd lost all hope.

"Kurt... we aren't going to hurt you." Came the voice.

Kurt slowly, shakily moves his hands, letting his vision focus. He saw someone. Someone familiar. Beef.

"B... Beef?" Kurt says in disbelief.

"Your ok Kurt, your safe." Beef murmurs as he hugs Kurt.

Kurt immediately tenses and gasps in pain. Beef jumps back, allowing Kurt his space.

"I'm sorry Kurt..."

Kurt just shakes his head as the tears pour down his face. He couldn't get the images of Dezeray and Zisteau out of his head. He could've been with his husband and daughter. But no. He had to be brave. He had to try and be the hero when he wasn't. He was just a big fucking coward. That's all he was.

"It's ok Kurt.... your safe now." Beef says.

"NO! IT'S NOT OK!" Kurt yells.

"Woah, woah. Calm down." Beef says, startled.

"Why the fuck should I?!?"

"What happened to the old Kurt?" Beef asks hesitantly.

"He died with Dezeray and Zisteau."


"They're gonna come after you again Kurt. Your the only one who knows where it is." Guude states, having given up on trying to be gentle, because Kurt had obviously changed.

"I know Guude, I know. But I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't think I can live without them." Kurt says blankly, no emotion to his voice.

"What happened to the real you, Kurt? You used to be so hopeful, even in the darkest of times. What happened?" Guude says with a loud sigh.

"That hope is what got me int! this fucken mess. It's what killed Dezeray. It's what killed Zisteau. It was all a fucken lie."

"I don't know what to tell you Kurt, but I don't want to see you stuck in that damn prison cell again. Just promise me you'll think about your options. I can't keep protecting you forever." Guude says and leaves, not making another comment.

Kurt just starred at the closed door. He'd always had been the man with hope. But, now all he saw was the bad in people and the bad in the world. He closed his eyes and laid back, wincing at the pain in his stomach. He relaxed enough to fall asleep.

"It's ok Kurt, come here." His mothers voice drifts to Kurt.

"He... he's dead mom!" Kurt sobs into his mothers shoulder.

"I know sweetie, but everything will be ok."

"How can you say that?"

"Because I have hope. Hope Kurt, that's all you need. It will get you through the toughest times, even when you have nothing left."

"Hope...." Kurt whispers.

Kurt awoke to the sun shinning softly on his skin. The birds were tweeting and you could here the soft rustle of leaves. Hope. That's all anyone needed. Kurt knew exactly what he had to do. He was up, dressed, and out the door before anyone noticed. He left a simple note, letting everyone know what he was doing so they wouldn't worry.

I'm doing what needs to be done.
Never loose hope

Kurt went straight for the portal and into another he hadn't visited in far too long. He stepped onto the stone of a crazy misshapen mountain. He wanted to hear the bark of his loyal companion, Wolfie, but he wouldn't, for Wolfie had passed long ago, protecting Kurt. He walked down a hidden staircase and into a room. He grabbed the mysterious purple orb from its hidden place. He could feel the power radiating off the orb. It was dark, mysterious, and dangerous. He knew what would happen if it fell into the wrong hands.

Kurt went back out into the sunshine and found a piece of the Farlands that lead straight down to the void. He took a deep, steadying breath and jumped, for he had hope that world would be a great place. For he had hope.

Date: Saturday, December 26th, 2015 10:36 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Oh my god this is so sad. He died, right? He died so that the world would have hope and power wouldn't fall into the wrong hands? I hope he sees his husband and daughter after death. If I had real emotions I'd be crying right now, but I am only frowning. Good job, nice work!
-Observing Anon

Date: Sunday, December 27th, 2015 07:26 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
That is what makes it so beautiful.

-the lurkiest lurker

Date: Sunday, December 27th, 2015 07:25 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
*sniff* I can hardly even be sad. It was so beautiful and poignant. <3 I love it.

-the lurkiest lurker


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