Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 09:38 pm (UTC)
subliminalcircles: Drawn by me! (Default)
These are some things that's been in my head for a while now, and these are some things that have been really baffling me.

1.) The setting seems to go back and forth between medieval, modern, and sci-fi.
So, you got that lab sorta thing back in the first few chapters of Monstrous that unlocks Vechs' monstrous form. So... Sci-fi?
But... Dragons, power-giving gems, and immortality is a thing. Wouldn't that mean fantasy?
However, several times, they've mentioned modern technology such as cameras and ovens, right?
Nope! How 'bout that time travel?
Then there are the mythological-like gods, alchemists, magical creatures, and enchantments. Also, we know they have access to modern technology, so why are they carrying around swords? A shotgun beats an iron sword any day.
This is very minor, but I'll be reading this, and they'll be like, "Dragons! Magic! Hooray!" And then all the sudden, "Let's take a picture of these stars for Kurt!" It kinda makes me go, "Huh?"

2.) Everything is explained. For example, the opening to this chapter, I feel, is a bit unnecessary. In my opinion, it would be much better the chapter started with future Vechs saving present Aureylian instead of having that scene in 459Y. Its also kind of weird that only in about a couple of short paragraphs, we see 459Y Vechs going from his normal, 20 self to this middle aged-looking person with a prosthetic. I know this is time travel, but this took me about a minute to process. There needs to be more inferences.

3.) The step-clank ending had a lot of build up, but we already know what happens. I don't know what your intentions were, but it's not very suspenseful cause we already know who is making the step-clank sound. The only thing anticipated really is BTC's reaction.

That's really all I have to say. This has been one of the best fan-fictions I've read in a long time, and I hoped this helped. :3
(BTW, I love the hinted PakTC :DDD)
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