Probably the most meta thing ever

[thezombineer]

I wrote this with a set in stone rule for myself. Basically, if I'd typed it, it stayed. It's.... Interesting. All the fourth wall breaking is an effect of me having been bored. So yeah. I may do a full story based on the universe they end up in. No guarantees though.

 

~0~0~0~

 

Vechs rolled over, surprised for just a moment when he saw Aurey asleep next to h-"Dude, Veylian is overused, especially by you." What? How? "Uh, I don't know. My view of the fourth wall is somewhat limited still. Until you write me with better powers anyway." Okay... Well this just got interesting.

 

At this point, having heard Vechs talking to thin air while staring at the southern wall of the room, Aurey sat up. "Vechs? Who ya talking to?" She asked, confused by Vechs' fourth wall breaking abilities as much as the author who gave them to him.

 

"Hey, can we start this story off better? Aurey and I are just friends you know." Fine. We'll start this differently.

 

That having been settled, Aurey vanished along with the room, leaving Vechs standing in a void in his PJs. "Well, uh... Not quite what I expected. Is this what the inside of your mind looks like?" No. No it does not. Now, how would you recommend starting this fic? "First of all, you seem to like people just waking up too much. I mean, in SLAD-" Vechs suddenly found himself without a voice, because I'm not letting him spoil anything and this is not a fic on Saladlove. Though maybe it should be. After a few moments of silence, Vechs regained his voice. "Alright, point taken. But seriously, starting with action never hurt anyone." Fine. We'll start with action.

 

All around Vechs, the void started changing into a back alley. The buildings around him were apartments made of brick and the fire escapes were too high for him to reach. At the entrance to the alley way stood a group of people, five in total. At the front of the group was Aureylian. "Oh come on, really? You're going to get your Veylian in here one way or another aren't you?" Vechs received no reply as the unanswered was clear. "Wait, what?" Sorry. Auto correct.

 

Aurey stepped forward, drawing a sword from her back. "Looks like you finally took a wrong turn, Vechs." She said, her voice dripping with venom. "Serves you right for betraying your allies." Unbeknownst to Aurey, but quite visible to Vechs the breaker of fourth walls, two of her men vanished as the author changed his mind about how many people there were to fight due to a change in backstory. "Uh, hey. Psst. You forgot to give me actual clothes. And a weapon. And info on what's happening." Vechs got no reply, this time because the author had wandered off to a Skype chat to talk about Dollhouse and other Joss Whedon shows. "Well crap."

 

"Who are you talking to?" Asked Aureylian. "Why are you in your PJs?"

 

"I honestly wish I knew, Relly. I r-" Vechs started.

 

"You don't get to call me that name anymore, traitor." Aurey snarled. Okay, hi, back. What'd i miss? Ah crap. With that exclamation from the author, Vechs suddenly found himself wearing everyday clothes, and brandishing a weapon. He could also remember quite clearly the events leading up to this point. Aurey seemed not to notice his change of wardrobe, and also seemed to have forgotten his crazy rants to thin air. "So, what will it be? Will you fight back? Or will this be easy for me?"

 

Vechs laughed. "When have you ever known me to go down without a fight? That's why i betrayed you Aurey! I wouldn't go down without a fight!" He drew his own sword with a flourish. "Psst. Hey. Why are we fighting with swords in the middle of a modern city?" Because sword fights are cooler and the backstory says so. Look for yourself. "Huh. Okay."

 

"I thought as much." Aurey replied. "You two, keep everyone out and don't let him escape." She said to the men behind her. With that she turned back to Vechs and charged, swinging as she came into range. Vechs parried with ease.

 

And so, their battle began. A battle for vengeance, and for justice. A battle that would ma-"You're just trying to avoid having to write a fight scene aren't you?" Shhhhh. Don't talk about that.

 

The battle came to a close when Aurey knocked Vechs' sword from his hands and shoved him against a wall, sword to his throat. "Why'd you do it Vechs? Why did you betray us? Betray me?"

 

"Do i have to follow this script?" Vechs asked. Yes. Now shut up and recite. "Fine.." Vechs sighed. "Aurey, I betrayed the alliance because they were sending us to our deaths without a chance to fight back. It was a suicide mission. I had to stop it because..." He looked away for a moment before making eye contact again. "Because I love you and I couldn't bear to see you throw your life away so easily."

 

She eyed him suspiciously for a moment. "There's something in eyes that makes me believe you're telling the truth." She said. Aurey put her sword away and pulled him into the deepest kiss she'd ever giv-"Oh shut up already." She said. Wait. Both of you can see the fourth wall? Then why-

 

"Did i pretend i couldn't? I didn't want to look crazy." She shrugged.

 

Okay. You know what? That's it. I'm done. I'm out. Goodbye. Vechs and Aurey heard the sounds of a door slamming and a car driving away.

 

"So...." Vechs started. "We kinda can't control this universe. We're stuck."

Aurey thought that over for a minute. "Son of a biscuit."