A Cruel World Chpt. 6

[ruddiestbubbles]

Taking chances?



Zisteau walked out into the wasteland; instantly feeling the warmth the sun brought. It was comforting actually, he found as he basked in the sun for a moment. He surveyed the area, trying to find Kurt. His eyes landed on a figure laying in the grass on a small hill. He smiled slightly as he made his way up the hill.

"Hey." Kurt greeted as Zisteau sat down beside the shy man.

"Hey." He responded quietly.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked hesitantly. "You were acting weird yesterday."

He let out a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm okay I guess." He paused for a moment. "Vechs just brought up my ex and I was really upset about it.... That and the way that woman treated me."

"The one who called you a monster?"

"Yeah... That type of thing really gets to me."

Kurt gave him a sad smile. "But you aren't a monster."

"I know..." He says with a sigh. "Just hard to believe sometimes."

It fell silent between the two as they stared at the clouds that lazily rolled across the sky.

"How are you doing?" He asked Kurt, giving him a brief glance.

Kurt shrugged. "A little better I guess." He paused, his fingers playing with the, not so soft, grass beneath them. "I know they're gone.... It's just hard to fathom."

"I know the feeling."

"Your ex...?"

"Yeah, him, but also my family."

"Your family?"

"I got banished from my settlement after the incident."

Kurt gave him a questioning look.

"A group of ghouls attacked my settlement... I tried to defend everyone but a glowing one bit me, which allowed radiation into my blood... And well... Mutated me..."

Kurt frowned slightly. "They thought you were a monster?"

He nodded sadly. "Yeah... They were too frightened by how I looked to realize I hadn't changed at all."

"People are blind to what things are..."

"You're one to talk." He teased lightly.

"Oh hush." Kurt responded, a smile tugging at his lips; the first smile he'd seen from the shy man. "At least I can see the beauty in people." He said quietly, almost inaudible.

Zisteau wasn't sure how to respond. So many things were swirling through his head; one being just how sweet Kurt was. He knew the shy man was still hurting; yet he seemed to definitely be better. He wanted to protect Kurt from the world; it was almost like an urge, constantly pulling at his heart.

"What was it like...?" Kurt asks quietly. "Being in love?"

Zisteau blinked a few times, slightly confused by the- seemingly out of the blue- question. "Magical." He answered in a soft whisper. "Everyday was happy, no matter what was happening." He let out a deep breath. "Everything was perfect."

Kurt's brilliant blue-red eyes flickered to Zisteau, an emotion he couldn't quite place residing in them. "I want that..."

"I want that again too...."

"Maybe... Maybe we could..." Kurt spoke nervously, his voice quiet. "Find that in each other..." He put a hand on Zisteau's chest, his brilliant blue-red eyes full of sadness and hope.

Zisteau put his hand on top of Kurt's, which was soft. "Maybe we could." Was his quiet reply, his own blue-green eyes gleaming with hope.

"You-you're serious...?" Kurt asks in disbelief.

Zisteau nods. "I am Kurt.... I want to find that happiness again, and I want to find it with you."

He watched as Kurt blinked a couple of times. He saw the fight in those beautiful eyes. He saw the raw emotion they held. He saw every single thing that crossed through them.

"Are you okay?" He breathed out, worry evident in his blue-green eyes.

Kurt nods lightly. "Yeah... I'm okay... I just... I don't want to loose you like everyone else..." His gaze falls to the ground.

"Kurt, look at me." Zisteau says gently; waiting for those beautiful eyes to meet his own. "I will do whatever it takes to be by your side for as long as I live."

Kurt let's out a breath. "I believe you."

Zisteau smiles lightly, his eyes meeting Kurt's. He couldn't even truly describe how he felt in that moment. Maybe relief, maybe happiness, he wasn't quite sure. But, as a smile grew on Kurt's lips, he couldn't help but smile too. Maybe he would find that happiness with Kurt. Maybe just maybe Beef was right. Maybe Kurt as exactly what he needed.

"What if this all doesn't work?" Kurt asked quietly; just like before, his voice barely a whisper.

Zisteau held Kurt's gaze. "What if it does?" He countered with a smile.

Kurt smiled too. "Do you always answer a question with another question?"

"I dunno, do I?"

Kurt's smile widened. "I'll take that as a yes."

They laid quietly beside each other for a long while, just enjoying the silence and peace of the wasteland; which honestly didn't happen often.

"Kurt?" Zisteau questioned quietly after a while; his voice breaking through the peaceful silence.

"Yeah?" Was Kurt's quiet reply as his blue-red eyes met Zisteau's blue-green.

"Have you ever wondered what is was like to live somewhere else?"

"Somewhere else?"

"Yeah... Like somewhere that wasn't filled with radiation."

"I've never thought about it..."

"I have." Zisteau says quietly. "I've seen pictures from prewar, and it looked so peaceful. Not this type of peaceful." He gestured around them. "But actual peace. Like birds tweeting and rain that didn't burn your skin." He paused briefly, his mind creating an image, which he admired. "I could just imagine it. You, me, somewhere peaceful and nice."

"But you know that can't happen."

"I know... But it's nice to imagine."

"Yeah..."

"What do you imagine?"

"Well..." Kurt says slightly awkwardly. "I imagine myself... But better. I imagine that I'm stronger, braver, athletic, not blind, more handsome."

"Wait... How do you see yourself?" Zisteau asked with a sad smile.

"I guess I see myself as inferior... Like I'm useless because I'm weak and can't see anything that's not right in front of me..."

"You're none of that, you know." Zisteau brushes a few strands of hair out of Kurt's face. "You're beautiful, strong, everything you've said is wrong. And, mostly Kurt, you're kind. You actually have a heart, unlike most of everybody you come across now a days."

"But I'm not strong or confident like you."

"But you are Kurt. You were strong enough to keep going after everything that happened. You were confident enough not ask for help. You know, most people would rather take a bullet to the head than ask for any help at all."

Kurt sighs quietly, not really knowing what to say. Zisteau made him feel something again; made him feel less numb. He wanted to believe every word his odd companion said, but he still had so much doubt within him. "Why do you care so much?"

"I care because I care about you...." Zisteau twined their fingers together. "I care about you a lot."

Kurt bit his lip. "I care about you too, Zisteau... A lot."