Letting Go Chpt. 29

[ruddiestbubbles]

Sometimes, just letting yourself learn from pain and mistakes, makes a huge impact.

"I'm so glad you finally got to leave the hospital." Dezeray says, her fingers twined with MC's as they walked through the park; the sun shinning brightly and the wind blowing softly.

"Me too, being there made me feel cramped. I've missed the sun."

"You and me both."

MC sends Dezeray a small smile, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "Isn't tomorrow your birthday?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Awesome. Now you'll be seventeen." MC glances sidelong at her. "You'll be so old." He chuckles.

Dezeray playfully shoved him. "That's not that old!"

"Suuure."

"So mean." She gives him a half hearted glare, but couldn't help but smile brightly.

"Are your dads planning anything?"

"No idea, things have been kinda, weird lately."

"True, but even if there isn't a party, I'll still be there."

"I know, and I'm glad you will be."

"Me too, wouldn't wanna miss such an important event."

Dezeray just smiles, enjoying the sun on her face and the soft breeze that rustled her hair. She felt okay, actually more than okay, she felt great for once. There had been quite a few things that had torn her down and built her back up. But, it all made her stronger. Every single moment that tore her down, helped build her up, make her stronger, and help her see the good in life; which was something she would probably always struggle with.

"You know, you get this cute pouty face when you're thinking." MC says, pulling the other from her thoughts.

"I didn't know." She laughs.

"What's on your mind?"

"Eh, nothing really, just enjoying life."

"I'm glad you are." MC squeezes her hand gently.

Dezeray sends him a smile, a true smile, one that reached her eyes. "Are you gonna stay over tonight?"

"I can if you want."

"I'd like that.... but nothing too much, okay?"

"Of course."

"I just.... I just don't think I can handle that yet.... or for a while, really."

"Dezeray, it's perfectly fine, I'm willing to wait." MC rubs endless circles into the back of her hand. "I'll always wait." He says, his voice soft, full of love, un denying love.

"I know.... I just feel like I'm not being, oh, I dunno, invested enough in our relationship."

MC stops, causing Dezeray to stop as well, and takes both of her hands in his, gently rubbing endless circles in both. "My beautiful, beautiful Dezeray, just because you aren't ready for something so intimate doesn't mean you're not invested. You stuck with me even when I was in a coma and possibly wouldn't make it. Most people would've given up, but you didn't, you stuck with me and literally never left my side. So don't let something so trivial get to you."

Dezeray just stared at MC for a second, her blue-green eyes meeting his blue. "How could I just give up on you? I love you, so, so much, and I couldn't loose you, I refused to. I knew you were strong enough to get through it. I knew you wouldn't break your promise. I knew you wouldn't leave me." Tears glistened in her eyes as she fought to speak around the lump forming in her throat.

MC used the pad of his thumb to wipe away a tear as it slowly fell down her pale cheeks. "I'd never leave you, and you know that."

"I-I know.... it.... it was just so hard seeing you like that..... not seeing your smile or the way your eyes light up when you see me.... or-or hearing your laugh, its the most amazing sound ever.... I just.... it really, really hurt I guess....."

"I know Dez, I know, but I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere, because my everything is right in front of me."

She blinks away the tears as she hugs him tightly, letting her head rest in the croak of his neck, where his intoxicating smell overwhelmed her. This was what she loved. That no matter how upset she was, or how much weight was on her shoulders, he always made here feel better, always.

"I'm just so glad to have you." Dezeray murmurs, her voice quiet.

"I'm glad I have you too." MC replies softly, pressing a gentle kiss to her head.

Eventually the two made their way back to Dezeray's house, were Zisteau and Kurt were making dinner, or trying to at least, Zisteau was constantly teasing Kurt with kisses and touches. It was too cute, honestly. It was a nice quiet evening, spent relaxing as a family, just enjoying life. It was peaceful, nice, perfect even.

Just being able to relax in MC's arms was perfect. Being able to relax and feel okay with life was something she had been desperately needing in her life. Solace, that's what she needed. Stillness in a world that seemed to be constantly moving and changing. MC helped bring that stillness; Kurt and Zisteau did too. It made her love life, not like before, but actually love life. She looked forward to waking up and spending time with people she cared about.

It had been far too long since she was truly this happy and okay with everything. And, those thoughts stuck with her as she slipped into a dreamless sleep, her head on MC's chest, listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart.


"Dez.... Hey Dez." Came MC's soothing voice.

"Huh...?" Dezeray asked around a yawn, her mind still clouded with sleep.

"You wanna go watch the sunrise on the beach together?"

She blinked a few times, staring up at MC in the pale light of the early morning. "Yeah, that would be great."

She gets out off bed and throws on a hoodie and sleepily heads out to the car with MC leading. It was a quiet drive through the deserted streets as Dezeray tried to stay awake, which was only slightly difficult. But, they reach the beach soon and they head out onto the cool sand and sit by each other on the deserted beach. She cuddled into MC's side, her head resting on his shoulder as they sat and watched the sun slowly rise over the horizon, coloring the small waves with purples, reds, pinks, and shades of orange. It was beautiful, unique and always changing, just like their relationship.

"Happy birthday my beautiful Dezeray." MC murmurs, placing a gentle kiss on her head.