Mindcrack Love: an alternative Mindcrack community

To the best of my knowledge, none of us here are 'professional' writers, but we can still try to help each other to improve our craft. =)

The setting and story of this is interesting; it's how it's presented that falters. Which can be improved on, and if you wrote them while you were ill then it's not to surprising that things slipped bast the radar.

And I agree with you that these threads become less "scary" as time goes on. It's the fact that it specifically refered to the combat that made me point this out, as that is something you don't want to become a casual thing in a life or death scenario. No matter how good you are, no matter how many times you have done this, if you don't stay alert, the price may be to much to pay. Of course they are not going to panic in the same manner that they would when this was new, that would be silly, but comebat should never be 'uneventfull'. 'Peacefull compared to other days' or 'handled with pracrticed routine' or 'mostly uneventfull with only one encounter' or something like that would serve the situaton better.
Downplaying the danger due to the zombies is not the same as making the encounter less dangerous based on more experience.

That said...I saw and see no mention of the prolouge you refear to in this chapter anywhere. If I had, then this would have been what I would have looked at first. With a site such as DW it's usually beneficial to add a link to the first, the prior and the next chapter (if there are those things) or to a master-list before the cut. =)

I do plan on coming back to this and read more when my time allows this, as I'm still interested in the setting. Finding the time to do so is the difficult part.