Saving Grace (Part 5)
Wednesday, August 10th, 2016 12:31 pm![[personal profile]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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mindcrackloveSome new people finally come into play
He felt consciousness seep into his body, which felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. He slowly opened his eyes, seeing the same white ceiling as before. A soft groan escaped his lips as he slowly sat up. His stomach ached, along with his head. He threw the blanket off of his legs and slowly got up, making his way to the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face, scrubbing his hands across it.
He felt like absolute crap; looked like it too. He let out a breath and went back out into his room. He wasn't sure what to do; but eating was not something that sounded particularly nice. He went out of his room, looking around for Lauren; who had been helping him for the past few days.
"Hey, aren't you the guy who passed out yesterday?" A voice says, catching his attention.
He saw the person who had talked; a guy that looked around his age. Perfect blond hair, which sculpted his perfectly chiseled chin. Blue-green eyes; which seemed so deep, and a bright smile, finishing the look.
"Y-yeah..." Was his nervous reply.
"You okay?"
He nods. "Yeah, I guess."
"I'm Zisteau." The boy says.
"Kurt." He responded; biting his lip roughly.
"I was just on my way to the cafe for breakfast, wanna join me?" Zisteau offered.
"Um.." He bit his lip harder. "Sure."
"Well come on then." Zisteau says as he started down the hallway.
Kurt followed after him nervously, his mind racing. They entered the noisy cafeteria together and went through the line. He grabbed milk and oatmeal before following Zisteau to a table of people.
"Hey Z!" One of the people greeted.
"Heyo guys." Zisteau greeted as he sat down.
He sat down awkwardly, feeling really out of place.
"Hey! Aren't you that guy that passed out yesterday?"
"Um... Yeah...." Was his awkward reply.
"Kurt, this is Etho, Beef, and Pause." Zisteau says with a smile. "Guys, this is Kurt."
"So what're you in for?" Pause asked curiously.
"Depression and anxiety disorder..." He answered awkwardly, his gaze on his hands as he avoided telling them everything.
"Way to make him feel awkward Pause, jeez." Beef says, playfully slapping his shoulder.
"Hey! It's not like Etho didn't ask the same thing when I got here." Pause says defensively.
"Oh hush, when you've been here for a year it's kind of what you're used to." Etho argued with a smirk.
Zisteau rolled his eyes. "Well now that you've embarrassed the poor guy, you could at least return the favor."
"As you heard, I've been here for almost a year, I have stage three cancer." Etho says, giving Pause a look. "Though I'm probably gonna get to leave soon!"
"Unlike this jerk." Beef says, playfully shoving Etho. "I've only been here for a month; I was in a really bad car crash and had to have both of my legs amputated."
"Like Etho, I also have cancer, but I've only been in this hell for three months." Pause says, with a look Kurt can't quite place in his eyes.
"Shit." Beef muttered suddenly. "I've got physical therapy now, I totally forgot."
"Crap, I've got a treatment too." Pause added, frowning slightly as he stood up.
"Want some company?" Etho asks with a knowing look.
Pause nods. "That would be nice."
The three head from the room; Pause pushing Beef's wheelchair.
"They are a crazy bunch." Zisteau comments with a chuckle, taking a bite of his pancakes.
Kurt just stares at his oatmeal, stirring it absentmindedly with his spoon; not feeling hungry in the slightest.
"Not hungry?"
He shakes his head. "Not really."
"How long have you been here."
"A few days."
"Not much of a talker?"
He shrugged again. "No..." That only brought forth more sadness as memories from his past started surfacing.
"Oh... Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?" Zisteau asked worriedly.
"Just old memories."
"Want to talk?"
Kurt looked at Zisteau anxiously. "...maybe... But somewhere calmer..."
"I know a place." Zisteau says as he gets up to throw away his trash.
Kurt threw away his untouched oatmeal and his partially empty milk carton. He followed Zisteau out of the cafeteria. They didn't make it far before they were stopped by Lauren.
"Ah, there you are Kurt." She greeted with a warm smile. "Are you feeling okay?"
He merely shrugged.
"Did you eat?"
He shook his head. "No... I wasn't hungry."
She let out a huff of air. "Kurt, you have to eat, you know what'll happen if you don't."
He shrugs again. "I don't care... Maybe I want that."
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "Kurt." She says in an- almost motherly- tone. "I can promise you that's not the only option or what you'll end up wanting. Can you please just try?"
"Whatever." He mumbles.
She just sighs and walks away, looking frustrated and upset.
Zisteau looked confused, but continued walking anyway; leading Kurt down a hallway and into another hallway that ended in a big window with a cushioned seat. Zisteau sat down and patted the spot beside him for Kurt to sit down too.
"I usually come here to think." Zisteau comments as he looks out of the window at the beautiful park that looked peaceful in the morning light.
"It's peaceful..."
"Yeah, it is." He takes a deep breath, his gaze flickering to Kurt. "What did Lauren mean?"
Kurt sighs, bringing his knees to his chest. "I don't eat..."
"Why?"
He shrugs. "I'm never hungry."
"How long has it been since you last ate a proper meal?"
"I'm not honestly sure... I lost track a long time ago."
"That's really why you're here, isn't it?"
He nods. "Yeah... It is."
Realization and sadness suddenly filled Zisteau's blue-green eyes. "You want to die?"
"Maybe... Yes... I don't know." He shook his head as the tears started welling up. "It's not like I have anything to live for."
"Surely you do!"
"I don't have parents, my uncle hates me and he's the only family I have left."
"What about friends? Significant other?"
"I don't have any friends... Nobody likes me... Nobody cares..."
"Why would you say that?"
"I'm always bullied at school... They beat me up and say such hurtful things and laugh.... Do you know how hard it is being picked on and laughed at just because of who you love?"
Zisteau just looked at Kurt for a second, seeing the tears and sadness and the longing. "They bully you for that?" He asked gently, his gaze never leaving Kurt.
A tear ran down his cheek as he nodded slowly. "Yeah. They do."
"Are they the reason you want to end it?"
"Partially...."
"What else?"
"My uncle... He hates me; doesn't want anything to do with me. My dad... He-he passed from cancer a year ago." He let out a choked sob as a few more tears slide down his cheeks. "My mom... She-she hung herself a month after my dad passed...."
"I'm so sorry Kurt."
"It doesn't matter anymore."
"It does matter Kurt, it really does!"
"Why Zisteau...? Why does it matter?"
Zisteau let out a deep breath. "Because you matter Kurt. You may see yourself as nothing, but I can assure you, you aren't nothing." He gave Kurt a serious look. "Please don't kill yourself."
"But what is there to live for? I have nothing; no one."
"Then let me be the one Kurt! Let me be the thing you live for!"
He felt consciousness seep into his body, which felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. He slowly opened his eyes, seeing the same white ceiling as before. A soft groan escaped his lips as he slowly sat up. His stomach ached, along with his head. He threw the blanket off of his legs and slowly got up, making his way to the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face, scrubbing his hands across it.
He felt like absolute crap; looked like it too. He let out a breath and went back out into his room. He wasn't sure what to do; but eating was not something that sounded particularly nice. He went out of his room, looking around for Lauren; who had been helping him for the past few days.
"Hey, aren't you the guy who passed out yesterday?" A voice says, catching his attention.
He saw the person who had talked; a guy that looked around his age. Perfect blond hair, which sculpted his perfectly chiseled chin. Blue-green eyes; which seemed so deep, and a bright smile, finishing the look.
"Y-yeah..." Was his nervous reply.
"You okay?"
He nods. "Yeah, I guess."
"I'm Zisteau." The boy says.
"Kurt." He responded; biting his lip roughly.
"I was just on my way to the cafe for breakfast, wanna join me?" Zisteau offered.
"Um.." He bit his lip harder. "Sure."
"Well come on then." Zisteau says as he started down the hallway.
Kurt followed after him nervously, his mind racing. They entered the noisy cafeteria together and went through the line. He grabbed milk and oatmeal before following Zisteau to a table of people.
"Hey Z!" One of the people greeted.
"Heyo guys." Zisteau greeted as he sat down.
He sat down awkwardly, feeling really out of place.
"Hey! Aren't you that guy that passed out yesterday?"
"Um... Yeah...." Was his awkward reply.
"Kurt, this is Etho, Beef, and Pause." Zisteau says with a smile. "Guys, this is Kurt."
"So what're you in for?" Pause asked curiously.
"Depression and anxiety disorder..." He answered awkwardly, his gaze on his hands as he avoided telling them everything.
"Way to make him feel awkward Pause, jeez." Beef says, playfully slapping his shoulder.
"Hey! It's not like Etho didn't ask the same thing when I got here." Pause says defensively.
"Oh hush, when you've been here for a year it's kind of what you're used to." Etho argued with a smirk.
Zisteau rolled his eyes. "Well now that you've embarrassed the poor guy, you could at least return the favor."
"As you heard, I've been here for almost a year, I have stage three cancer." Etho says, giving Pause a look. "Though I'm probably gonna get to leave soon!"
"Unlike this jerk." Beef says, playfully shoving Etho. "I've only been here for a month; I was in a really bad car crash and had to have both of my legs amputated."
"Like Etho, I also have cancer, but I've only been in this hell for three months." Pause says, with a look Kurt can't quite place in his eyes.
"Shit." Beef muttered suddenly. "I've got physical therapy now, I totally forgot."
"Crap, I've got a treatment too." Pause added, frowning slightly as he stood up.
"Want some company?" Etho asks with a knowing look.
Pause nods. "That would be nice."
The three head from the room; Pause pushing Beef's wheelchair.
"They are a crazy bunch." Zisteau comments with a chuckle, taking a bite of his pancakes.
Kurt just stares at his oatmeal, stirring it absentmindedly with his spoon; not feeling hungry in the slightest.
"Not hungry?"
He shakes his head. "Not really."
"How long have you been here."
"A few days."
"Not much of a talker?"
He shrugged again. "No..." That only brought forth more sadness as memories from his past started surfacing.
"Oh... Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?" Zisteau asked worriedly.
"Just old memories."
"Want to talk?"
Kurt looked at Zisteau anxiously. "...maybe... But somewhere calmer..."
"I know a place." Zisteau says as he gets up to throw away his trash.
Kurt threw away his untouched oatmeal and his partially empty milk carton. He followed Zisteau out of the cafeteria. They didn't make it far before they were stopped by Lauren.
"Ah, there you are Kurt." She greeted with a warm smile. "Are you feeling okay?"
He merely shrugged.
"Did you eat?"
He shook his head. "No... I wasn't hungry."
She let out a huff of air. "Kurt, you have to eat, you know what'll happen if you don't."
He shrugs again. "I don't care... Maybe I want that."
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "Kurt." She says in an- almost motherly- tone. "I can promise you that's not the only option or what you'll end up wanting. Can you please just try?"
"Whatever." He mumbles.
She just sighs and walks away, looking frustrated and upset.
Zisteau looked confused, but continued walking anyway; leading Kurt down a hallway and into another hallway that ended in a big window with a cushioned seat. Zisteau sat down and patted the spot beside him for Kurt to sit down too.
"I usually come here to think." Zisteau comments as he looks out of the window at the beautiful park that looked peaceful in the morning light.
"It's peaceful..."
"Yeah, it is." He takes a deep breath, his gaze flickering to Kurt. "What did Lauren mean?"
Kurt sighs, bringing his knees to his chest. "I don't eat..."
"Why?"
He shrugs. "I'm never hungry."
"How long has it been since you last ate a proper meal?"
"I'm not honestly sure... I lost track a long time ago."
"That's really why you're here, isn't it?"
He nods. "Yeah... It is."
Realization and sadness suddenly filled Zisteau's blue-green eyes. "You want to die?"
"Maybe... Yes... I don't know." He shook his head as the tears started welling up. "It's not like I have anything to live for."
"Surely you do!"
"I don't have parents, my uncle hates me and he's the only family I have left."
"What about friends? Significant other?"
"I don't have any friends... Nobody likes me... Nobody cares..."
"Why would you say that?"
"I'm always bullied at school... They beat me up and say such hurtful things and laugh.... Do you know how hard it is being picked on and laughed at just because of who you love?"
Zisteau just looked at Kurt for a second, seeing the tears and sadness and the longing. "They bully you for that?" He asked gently, his gaze never leaving Kurt.
A tear ran down his cheek as he nodded slowly. "Yeah. They do."
"Are they the reason you want to end it?"
"Partially...."
"What else?"
"My uncle... He hates me; doesn't want anything to do with me. My dad... He-he passed from cancer a year ago." He let out a choked sob as a few more tears slide down his cheeks. "My mom... She-she hung herself a month after my dad passed...."
"I'm so sorry Kurt."
"It doesn't matter anymore."
"It does matter Kurt, it really does!"
"Why Zisteau...? Why does it matter?"
Zisteau let out a deep breath. "Because you matter Kurt. You may see yourself as nothing, but I can assure you, you aren't nothing." He gave Kurt a serious look. "Please don't kill yourself."
"But what is there to live for? I have nothing; no one."
"Then let me be the one Kurt! Let me be the thing you live for!"
