(General Fiction/W.I.P Pre-Alpha Stage) Yet another UHC fanfic + pitch dossier

[halcyonlioness]

Good lord, am I nervous.

First off, a thank you to the kind person (I won't drop names, but you know who you are) who pointed me this direction.  I am most appreciative. :D

Anyways, I come seeking consultation.  At the risk of sounding like a broken record (I reiterate this in the links below,) there's a lot of stuff I don't know, and I'd love to have a few 'experts' whom I can 'annoy' for information and assistance.  It's this particular fan community I wish to write this fanfic for, and I want to give this project due diligence.
 

Fanfic Pitch Dossier - Please read this first.  Warning: Massive Wall of Text (chances are, you guys can handle it. <3) Edit: Don't panic.  This is just preparation.  Thank you.

Work-In-Progress Document - [Warning: Unfinished Fanfic! There May Be Spoilers!]
Update: Prologue Beta is completed, more or less.  Please let me know what you think and don't be afraid to offer suggestions. Thank you for the help so far, guys! :D

So, I kindly ask that instead of tomatoes, please throw me a few bones to work with.  I look forward to your suggestions and help, and all of you have my thanks in advance.

-HalcyonLioness

Comments

[guiltyshirts]

Hello and welcome! :D

I like the concept a lot, reminds me a bit of Death Race. I've been pondering the question of why the Mindcrackers would sign themselves over to this. Perhaps some sort of misdirection - ie they thought they were signing something else; blackmail; coersion/threats; maybe even appealing to simple greed. Or all of those could be used on different guys.

A reason for why - a rival server, perhaps? With the mysterious woman in charge. Not enough to simply take down her rivals, by making them all suspicious of each other and forcing them to fight, with the world watching, the idea is to break down their friendships and tarnish their legacy, leaving them nothing to come back to. Simply bumping them off would make them.. not martyrs exactly, but beloved victims. Hey, and if you can make a boatload of money selling tv rights to the whole thing, more the better. Gaining the signed contracts is a clever loophole that means nothing she's doing is illegal - or at least nothing that a few well-placed bribes won't cover.

(Plot twist: there is no traitor. That was just a lie to make them all paranoid.)

Of course, any or all of this may not fit with things you have in mind. And as you may have noticed, I ramble a bit. :P

[celestepastore]

... Oh my good god.

You poured your heart and soul into just this small write up, didn't you?

Let me just start by saying welcome to the community and offering a small piece of advice: Don't worry so much. Everyone here is very open-minded and accepting, and with that much thought into just the premise of a fiction, you're likely to win over a lot of allies.

That being said, I find this idea exciting and phenomenally well planned, and would be more than happy to assist where I can.

This is AMAZING.

[pagat]

Holy crap it's like Christmas and my birthday all at once. I love worldbuilding. Oh my gosh do I love worldbuilding. I could read a ten book series on this thing.

[kappa77]

This is insane, the amount of work and effort you've put into this! I haven't read it all, just skimmed over most of it, but I love it!

I;m currently going through the character loadout and it's seriously fantastic.

[scaredykitty]

My ideas are far less detailed, I usually just go ok, let's see where this heads O_O This looks...far more detailed O_O It's shiny.

[halcyonlioness]

*is honestly floored by the positive responses thus far*

Thanks, you guys. Seeing such a favorable response to the fic-pitch is not only a welcome relief but a great motivator.

And please, keep the ideas and suggestions coming. The more we understand this world, the better the narrative could be!*

Again, thanks, guys, and stay awesome.

*your mileage may vary

[theropod]

Welcome to the cosy little family! This idea is amazing and I love it and I am excited like you cannot believe. What you have so far is really good, I'm really enjoying it.

Random thoughts/ideas:

Can't have PVP without Anderz :D he'd be a really good one to get in there. Only issue would be the impressive amount of cuss words he can use in a single sentence.

Baj would be a good voice of reason in here since you have the others he is usually with (Guude, Beef and Pause). He's older, his usual UHC skin is an army one (army ranger? not sure of the exact one) and he's often the one to bring some sense in cases where the others are emotionally involved. An ex-army guy come to Minecraftia with the intention on having a nice farm before the Seperation wars but ended up joining with Guude and then afterwards he gets his nice little farm with the windmill and endless fields of wheat.

Millbee is a tough one, a talking rainbow sheep. I'm not even sure how to get him in. It would involve Pause somehow.

Nebris is a real toughie when it comes to pvp battles, he has history with Etho and MC thanks to the death games Etho instigated between them. If something similar happened in this fic before the events, then its possible they'd look upon Etho with some suspicion.

Since you mentioned the Tron guys for villain outfits, I thought of something else you could possibly pull from it. Or two. The de-rezzing thing. When a death occurs, the body derezzes. Initially the others are confused, they've never seen the like before in their days in Minecraftia. But then it comes to light that they are being kept in some kind of pods with their consciousnesses in a virtual world. Why? Because killing off people who draw in such vast amounts of money would be pointless. Keep them alive in the real world and they can be profited from, again and again. Just an idea :3

Another idea. The whole thing with CLU from Tron. What if during Guude's incarceration with the Moderans they acquired some of his DNA and attempted to replicate themselves a powerful soldier? And this replica is the one running the games? Silly perhaps, it just came to me.

Okay thats all I can think of off the top of my head.

[pink_sheep]

Welcome :3
I can't see the documents ATM on my phone while I am away to a sport event >.< I will give my ideas when I can! Just wanted to welcome you into our little group :3

[halcyonlioness]

Just a little heads up: Finally buckled down and started writing a little in the WIP doc. Feel free to give it a poke or two.

Stay awesome, folks. :3

EDIT: Prologue Beta completed. Feel free to poke, review, or at least let me know I'm going in the right direction. Thank you! :D

[ampresand]

You're missing a few members of UHC, most notably BTC. And a few non-UHC-ians but server members, specifically Shree, Adlington, and Jsano. Jsano might be a UHCian actually. Oh yeah, and Jims.

Here's some notes on them, sorta.

Real name: [unknown]
Alias: Blamethecontroler
- Former member of the Earth's military, has training with various weapons
- Tends to be cautious when it comes to UHC
- Known for building elaborate and plot-filled structures which he challenges others to travel through and survive (Kingdom of the Sky)
- Fond of cats
- Wears a skeleton skin, possibly some kind of accident from time spent in Modera

Real name: Shreeyam [last name redacted]
Alias: ShreeyamNET
- Youngest member of the server
- Surprisingly mature for his age
- No formal military training, but very good with weapons, especially guns (bow?)
- Fond of airplanes
- Always wears a cap and an outfit based off the game TF2
- Very much a loner: he lives in an underwater base far away from the main crew
- Rarely shows up to anything, but always excels when he does.

Real name: ???
Alias: Adlington
- Fond of castles
- Known for building gigantic things which are never completed
- Probably another accident due to skin

Real name: Jeff Sano
Alias: Jsano
- Firefighter IRL
- (People help?)

Real name: ???
Alias: TheJims
- Very quiet and sly-seeming
- Somehow gets lots of stuff done without being heard from
- Wonderful builder. Another of those who makes endless gigantic builds.

That's all I got for them. People wanna help?