(General Fiction/W.I.P Pre-Alpha Stage) Yet another UHC fanfic + pitch dossier

[halcyonlioness]

Good lord, am I nervous.

First off, a thank you to the kind person (I won't drop names, but you know who you are) who pointed me this direction.  I am most appreciative. :D

Anyways, I come seeking consultation.  At the risk of sounding like a broken record (I reiterate this in the links below,) there's a lot of stuff I don't know, and I'd love to have a few 'experts' whom I can 'annoy' for information and assistance.  It's this particular fan community I wish to write this fanfic for, and I want to give this project due diligence.
 

Fanfic Pitch Dossier - Please read this first.  Warning: Massive Wall of Text (chances are, you guys can handle it. <3) Edit: Don't panic.  This is just preparation.  Thank you.

Work-In-Progress Document - [Warning: Unfinished Fanfic! There May Be Spoilers!]
Update: Prologue Beta is completed, more or less.  Please let me know what you think and don't be afraid to offer suggestions. Thank you for the help so far, guys! :D

So, I kindly ask that instead of tomatoes, please throw me a few bones to work with.  I look forward to your suggestions and help, and all of you have my thanks in advance.

-HalcyonLioness

Comments

[ampresand]

You're missing a few members of UHC, most notably BTC. And a few non-UHC-ians but server members, specifically Shree, Adlington, and Jsano. Jsano might be a UHCian actually. Oh yeah, and Jims.

Here's some notes on them, sorta.

Real name: [unknown]
Alias: Blamethecontroler
- Former member of the Earth's military, has training with various weapons
- Tends to be cautious when it comes to UHC
- Known for building elaborate and plot-filled structures which he challenges others to travel through and survive (Kingdom of the Sky)
- Fond of cats
- Wears a skeleton skin, possibly some kind of accident from time spent in Modera

Real name: Shreeyam [last name redacted]
Alias: ShreeyamNET
- Youngest member of the server
- Surprisingly mature for his age
- No formal military training, but very good with weapons, especially guns (bow?)
- Fond of airplanes
- Always wears a cap and an outfit based off the game TF2
- Very much a loner: he lives in an underwater base far away from the main crew
- Rarely shows up to anything, but always excels when he does.

Real name: ???
Alias: Adlington
- Fond of castles
- Known for building gigantic things which are never completed
- Probably another accident due to skin

Real name: Jeff Sano
Alias: Jsano
- Firefighter IRL
- (People help?)

Real name: ???
Alias: TheJims
- Very quiet and sly-seeming
- Somehow gets lots of stuff done without being heard from
- Wonderful builder. Another of those who makes endless gigantic builds.

That's all I got for them. People wanna help?

[halcyonlioness]

Ooh. Thank you for the input, and I look forward to see what other info folks will offer in the regard of lesser-known Mindcrackers.

Oh! And for BTC's loadout: -this- [http://fav.me/d2ht7ps] is what comes to mind when I see his skin, skull makeup and all. He must have been as terrifying see on the battlefield as Etho and Pause.

That said, I realized early on (a given, considering there are 27 confirmed Mindcrack members) that this story was going very much feature an ensemble cast... and from my own experiences, writing for an ensemble cast is tricky. I can only put the spotlight on so many people at a time, and some of the guys may wind up only getting secondary and/or passing roles. I don't want that to happen, but for the sake of the story and the pace I hope to establish... squeezing a few of the guys off the stage may wind up being a necessary evil. My apologies to the fans of the castmembers in advance.

That said, if you are following my WIP document, I feel like I have too many guys in the arena already, so I may have to shuffle the roster about and kick a few 'Crackers into the 'Dectective' column. I would still like a little input on who should be in the arena and who should be left uncaptured/free to to figure out what's really going on, simply because that knowledge will affect how I'm going to write the next chapter.

On a different note: Vechs. I somehow got it into my head that Vechs is a very notorious Moderan Ex-pat and one not well liked by a few of the existing members of the Protectorate (especially Baj, Zisteau, and Paul Soares.) He must have given the Vanali a hell of a lot of trouble when he was fighting on the Modera side of the Severance Wars, but got kicked out of Modera for some reason (perhaps fairly recently in this story's historical timeline) and wound up finding amnesty somehow in Mindcracker territory. What do you guys think?

[ampresand]

Well, Shree and Thejims you can automatically shift to the "detective" sector. They rarely participate in UHC. Jsano I think you can also shift to "detective", he's only been in the most recent UHC.

I think the reason Vechs would've been kicked out from Modera is for a similar reason to Doc - his experiments (mostly in weaponry and such), have gotten more and more dangerous and Modera began to worry that he'd become a problem. He recieved amnesty due to some friendships with some former Modera members. Maybe he helped Boo and Guude escape?

ETA: Oh yeah, and Ads is detective. He's another non-PvPer