Residual (Chapter Twenty)
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Finally, we get to find out what has been causing that step-clank sound that has haunted both Blame and the readers since Monstrous chapter twenty-seven! We also get to find out whether or not Aureylian dies. That's fun.
And I know that no one saw this one coming.
Chapter list: http://tanadin.dreamwidth.org/382.html
Map of the continent: http://tanadin.deviantart.com/art/Monstrous-Residual-map-526465833
Character status spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1yvK6D0XzgjhMNjblFFQaAeJ7JkzdidaLJux1S8qsSUA/edit#gid=1227692709
Chapter Twenty
Kingdom of Traz’madar, Minecraftia. September 26, year 373. Time instance 459Y.
Time snapped back to its regular speed as the blade hit its mark.
It pierced Aureylian through the chest, sliding out of her back. She managed only the shortest scream before the lights in her eyes died.
Saltar’vesque roared in triumph as he withdrew the blade, letting Aureylian’s body fall limply to the ground.
Vechs felt himself shatter.
He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to move on. He struck a dead end. This wasn’t an ending that he had planned for.
It wasn’t an ending he could have planned for.
That is, of course, only one splinter. 459Y is not the main story we will follow.
But it will be relevant very soon.
Let’s go back, and this time remain with 483Z.
Let’s go back and follow the timeline where Norazdomu interferes.
Kingdom of Traz’madar, Minecraftia. September 26, year 373. Time instance 483Z.
Time seemed to slow as Vechs opened his mouth to cry out, knowing there was nothing he could do, nothing anyone could do to save her.
He was wrong, this time.
Something rippled in the timeline, and a red-and-gray blur appeared from nowhere to intercept the strike.
A sword in the hand of the figure sliced Saltar’vesque’s hand clean off, making the Hostile rear onto his hind legs and scream in agony. The tall figure stood between the Hostile and the fear-frozen Aureylian, sword raised.
Saltar’vesque took off, still roaring and pouring sickly green blood. He flew back into the clouds and the flames faded. The blazes fell apart and the fire suddenly went out. The Mindcrackers that were still conscious waited, stunned, watching the figure.
The figure turned around to look at Vechs, pointing the sword at him.
“You protect her!” he shouted, blade moving to motion at Aureylian. “You protect her, do you hear me? She dies and you break! She is more to you than you could ever fucking realize on your own! She is what keeps you together!”
Vechs barely took in his words, shaking both from the adrenaline rush and from nearly watching Aureylian die. Instead of thinking, he decided to just take in what he saw. Maybe then everything would make more sense.
The figure before him was a good six and a half feet tall and human, with an outfit dirtied and torn beyond belief, that in a past life was once a red shirt and some variety of gray pants. In his right hand he held a sword very similar to Blame’s, other than the fact that it was dark red instead of gray and stained with green blood. His left hand lacked anything to hold, but it also lacked two fingers- the pinkie and ring fingers of that hand, as well as where they would have connected, was gone, leaving an obvious mark on that side of the hand. His hair was mostly gray with some tufts and whisks of black showing that it had not always been this way, but the man looked to be only in his mid-thirties or so. Stretching diagonally down his face and beginning a few inches above his left eye was a jagged scar that carried on from his face down his neck, vanishing into his shirt. His teeth were bared and Vechs could see that they were sharp- not, he realized, sharp like his own were when he was in his monstrous form, but sharp like the man had taken a file to them.
His most defining feature, however, had to be his left leg. Or, rather, his lack of one.
Starting a few inches below his left knee, the leg cut off and in its place was an iron replacement. Instead of his left foot was a roughly carved iron dragon’s foot. It seemed to have been carved by someone in a hurry with little regard for looks, as it was a solid piece of iron with no moving parts and no finesse whatsoever. He stood oddly on it due to its bizarre shape, but seemed used to it.
Vechs’s eyes drifted up to meet the other man’s eyes and he received another shock. Like he had experienced with Skera, it was just like looking in a mirror, but this time it was far more dramatic. The eyes were duller and had lost most of their brightness, but the likeness was still there.
It was, he noted, exactly like looking in a mirror. A mirror that showed you what you looked like when you had been through worse than hell, a mirror that showed you what you looked like when you had been broken and shattered beyond comprehension.
He was looking into the eyes of a broken Vechs Davion.
One from 483Z, one from 459Y.
The gray-haired man wiped the blood off of his sword on the grass and sheathed it.
“Who are you?” Aureylian finally managed, voice very quiet.
“Not right now.” The man’s voice was rougher than Vechs’s. “Etho has a mere twenty or thirty minutes to live if we don’t get him the antidote.” He reached into a pocket that Vechs hadn’t noticed previously and produced a vial of faintly glowing blue liquid. “I have enough for both of them. Gather the wounded and get back inside. Seth, with me.” He made a jerking motion with his damaged hand. “Open the door and take me to Etho and Blame. I can only hope that it’s not too late.”
He was met with silence.
“Now! I am not letting Etho die again! Not letting Blame die again!” he roared. “I’ve lived this! I fucking know!” He stormed up to Seth. “Open. The damn. Door.”
Seth nodded, stunned and frightened. He started walking, limping on a hurt leg. The gray-haired man followed him, not rushing him.
Vechs pulled himself over to Aureylian.
“Aurey. Aurey Aurey Aurey Aurey…” he mumbled, over and over, hugging her tightly and burying his face in her hair. He shook violently, but not as much as she was. She didn’t even protest as his hug hurt her dislocated shoulder, just shook and weakly hugged him in return.
They stayed like that for about a minute until Paul put a hand on Vechs’s shoulder. “Vechs. We need to get everyone’s injuries checked. Aureylian’s hurt- please let go of her.”
Vechs was about to protest before the words Aureylian’s hurt registered. He quickly let go and looked her over, panicked that perhaps he had missed some fatal wound.
Paul patted his shoulder to reassure him before kneeling by Aureylian. “This is going to hurt.” he warned her, placing his hands on her shoulder. She whimpered and then cried out when he snapped the joint back into place. Vechs hugged her again the moment that Paul released her.
“We should get inside. It looks like it might rain.”
Vechs nodded numbly at Paul’s words but needed Aureylian’s help to stand. They stumbled back to the mountain together, with Paul trailing behind as he carried Arkas. Wounded Mindcrackers dragged and stumbled along with them, some unconscious or otherwise too injured to walk and thus were carried. Vechs didn’t take a tally. All he knew was that he was holding Aureylian’s hand and his eyes were having trouble focusing. He was pretty sure that the back of his head was bleeding but he didn’t really care.
He saw Seth open the door and lead the way inside, the gray-haired man following. As Vechs entered the hallway, he registered that the sounds the man made as he walked rang a bell in his mind, but he couldn’t place where.
They caught up to him at the base of the stairs. The iron dragon foot was not good for climbing them, so he struggled to keep his footing at each step. Seth wasn’t having a good time of it either- his ankle looked broken- but he tried to help the man up. Fortunately, the staircase wasn’t that tall, so they were up within five minutes, letting the others go up. The other Vechs clattered and clanked his way straight over to Etho. Nebris, who had been pacing, reached for the dagger at his side but Seth waved him away.
“This man’s got the antidote, let him through!”
“Doc, get me a syringe. Now! Etho has minutes!” He stopped by Etho’s bed and almost snatched the item from Doc, getting half of the vial within it before jamming it into Etho’s skin right near the wound. He made sure every drop was in the man before pulling the needle out.
Etho was in fate’s hands at this point.
“Once he begins breathing normally, move him to one of the separate rooms. It would be best if he did not have to deal with all of the injured. The same goes for Blame.” The gray-haired man’s arm swept around to indicate the Mindcrackers collapsing on their beds. “Give me another syringe.” He stepped over to Blame and repeated the process.
He handed the items back to Doc. “Blame will recover. I cannot say when it comes to Etho.” His gaze drifted around to the others around the room, quite a few of whom were watching him. “I will explain more about who I am later, but for now, all you need to know is that yes, I am Vechs Davion, and yes, I am from the future. An alternate, doomed future, one you will never experience due to interference from both Norazdomu and myself.” He glanced at Jsano, who was nursing a bad burn on his left shoulder. “I will help in any way I can. I am not here for myself- I am here for all of you.”
“Here.” Jsano tossed him some bandages. “You can start by treating those that are the quietest. They’re the closest to death.”
~~~
Other than some bruises and a cut on the back of his head, Vechs was physically fine. He was still shaken from both nearly losing Aureylian and meeting another version of himself from elsewhere in the timestream. As a result, he clung to Aureylian and anyone else that he knew well that got near him. His eyes were still having trouble focusing but Doc informed him that it was just a side effect of hitting his head and he would be alright soon.
Aureylian was equally shaken. She knew that she was meant to die there. She knew, looking into the face of the other Vechs, that she had died in his timeline. That he had watched her die and broken completely because of it. She could also tell because he refused to look at her- his eyes would fill with pain before he looked away quickly. He may have saved her this time, but she wasn’t the same Aureylian. He had still lost his own.
She didn’t mind her own timeline’s Vechs’s need to cling to her and make sure that she was okay. She didn’t necessarily need him right there at all times, but she understood that he had almost become the other Vechs and he knew it. As much as that shook her, she knew that it shook him more.
The other Mindcrackers had received wounds of varying degrees of severity.
Doc and Nebris had not been in the fighting and were thus undamaged, but no one else escaped that. Arkas had a broken leg and a minor concussion, Bdoubleo was covered in severe burns, Paul had a bad cut across his back, Seth had a broken ankle, Chad had bad burns and had been hit by flying stones from a firey explosion, and Adlington had broken his wrist. Even Windstripped Branch- whom Vechs had forgotten about and had not known about the presence of- received a fractured shoulderblade. The others had a variety of burns, cuts, bruises, and a couple sprains, but nothing as bad as the others. Only a few total Mindcrackers were in any sort of severe or critical condition, and overall, they counted it as only a minor loss. No one had died, and for that they were thankful. Zisteau was the most annoyed at his wounds (primarily burns) and got prickly whenever anyone mentioned that zombie pigmen were meant to be immune to flame- due to how he had been zombified, he had not gained the immunity.
Too many close calls to count.
Etho’s shaky and jagged breathing had leveled out to match that of one who was sleeping in just an hour after the antidote had been administered, something that made Nebris cry quietly with relief. They were all considerably relieved to know that Etho would likely not die from the poison and that they wouldn’t lose him after all. He was moved to a separate room as the gray-haired Vechs had suggested.
Blame had been moved as well, and the unhealthy paleness in his skin had started to fade back to its natural color. His cat was with him constantly, and seemed happier to be in a room without everyone else. Both Etho and Blame had been given windows (also at the other Vechs’s suggestion) so that they wouldn’t be holed up in a small stone room without sunlight. The others could manage due to the size of their room.
~~~
It was just three days later when Blame’s eyes slowly slid open. He lay there momentarily, blinking and trying to get used to the light, before struggling to sit up.
As he moved, he felt a tingling run through his body and his leg suddenly lanced with pain. He flinched and felt what little strength he had had flee, making him fall back onto his back.
“Blame!”
It took him a moment to register Pak’s voice. “Hey, Pak.” He turned his head to look at him. “Wait, how…how’d you get here?”
“Me? I’ve been here! You’re the one that’s been unconscious for a week!”
Blame’s blood chilled. “A week?”
“Just about, I don’t know the exact da- hey woah!” Pak stopped him from getting up. “You need to conserve your strength.”
Blame could feel his energy levels dropping. He couldn’t stay awake a whole lot longer.
“I was thinking a lot…of Varion again.” he mumbled, struggling to keep his eyes open. Seeing Pak had reminded him.
Pak frowned. “You holding up alright?”
“Not really. Went to…went to Ashwatch.”
Pak frowned further. “Why would you-“
“Bloodshadow. I needed to go-“ Blame’s eyes widened and he struggled to get up. “I need to see Kurt. I need Kurt and Paul, Paul has the starcharts, I need to see Kurt-“
“You need to rest, Blame, I’ll get Kurt-“
“Need to…see…need to see…Kurt…” Blame felt his energy drop completely before he passed out. He wouldn’t awaken for several hours.
~~~
Footsteps echoed in the empty stone halls, the sound bouncing around and through his door.
Step.
Clank.
Step.
Clank.
He was asleep, eyes closed against the dim light coming in through the window.
Step.
Clank.
Step.
Clank.
He shifted at the sound of the footsteps, sitting up as he suddenly realized that this wasn’t in his head.
Step.
Clank.
Step.
Clank.
It was real.
Step.
Clank.
Blame was tense as the footsteps paused and the doorknob turned. His breath caught in his throat as it creaked open. He would finally find out what caused the footsteps that had haunted him for months.
He didn’t know what he expected to see, but what came through the door certainly wasn’t it.
“Hello, Blame.” the gray-haired man said, voice rougher than that of Vechs’s. “It’s been a long, long time.”
And I know that no one saw this one coming.
Chapter list: http://tanadin.dreamwidth.org/382.html
Map of the continent: http://tanadin.deviantart.com/art/Monstrous-Residual-map-526465833
Character status spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1yvK6D0XzgjhMNjblFFQaAeJ7JkzdidaLJux1S8qsSUA/edit#gid=1227692709
Chapter Twenty
Kingdom of Traz’madar, Minecraftia. September 26, year 373. Time instance 459Y.
Time snapped back to its regular speed as the blade hit its mark.
It pierced Aureylian through the chest, sliding out of her back. She managed only the shortest scream before the lights in her eyes died.
Saltar’vesque roared in triumph as he withdrew the blade, letting Aureylian’s body fall limply to the ground.
Vechs felt himself shatter.
He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to move on. He struck a dead end. This wasn’t an ending that he had planned for.
It wasn’t an ending he could have planned for.
That is, of course, only one splinter. 459Y is not the main story we will follow.
But it will be relevant very soon.
Let’s go back, and this time remain with 483Z.
Let’s go back and follow the timeline where Norazdomu interferes.
Kingdom of Traz’madar, Minecraftia. September 26, year 373. Time instance 483Z.
Time seemed to slow as Vechs opened his mouth to cry out, knowing there was nothing he could do, nothing anyone could do to save her.
He was wrong, this time.
Something rippled in the timeline, and a red-and-gray blur appeared from nowhere to intercept the strike.
A sword in the hand of the figure sliced Saltar’vesque’s hand clean off, making the Hostile rear onto his hind legs and scream in agony. The tall figure stood between the Hostile and the fear-frozen Aureylian, sword raised.
Saltar’vesque took off, still roaring and pouring sickly green blood. He flew back into the clouds and the flames faded. The blazes fell apart and the fire suddenly went out. The Mindcrackers that were still conscious waited, stunned, watching the figure.
The figure turned around to look at Vechs, pointing the sword at him.
“You protect her!” he shouted, blade moving to motion at Aureylian. “You protect her, do you hear me? She dies and you break! She is more to you than you could ever fucking realize on your own! She is what keeps you together!”
Vechs barely took in his words, shaking both from the adrenaline rush and from nearly watching Aureylian die. Instead of thinking, he decided to just take in what he saw. Maybe then everything would make more sense.
The figure before him was a good six and a half feet tall and human, with an outfit dirtied and torn beyond belief, that in a past life was once a red shirt and some variety of gray pants. In his right hand he held a sword very similar to Blame’s, other than the fact that it was dark red instead of gray and stained with green blood. His left hand lacked anything to hold, but it also lacked two fingers- the pinkie and ring fingers of that hand, as well as where they would have connected, was gone, leaving an obvious mark on that side of the hand. His hair was mostly gray with some tufts and whisks of black showing that it had not always been this way, but the man looked to be only in his mid-thirties or so. Stretching diagonally down his face and beginning a few inches above his left eye was a jagged scar that carried on from his face down his neck, vanishing into his shirt. His teeth were bared and Vechs could see that they were sharp- not, he realized, sharp like his own were when he was in his monstrous form, but sharp like the man had taken a file to them.
His most defining feature, however, had to be his left leg. Or, rather, his lack of one.
Starting a few inches below his left knee, the leg cut off and in its place was an iron replacement. Instead of his left foot was a roughly carved iron dragon’s foot. It seemed to have been carved by someone in a hurry with little regard for looks, as it was a solid piece of iron with no moving parts and no finesse whatsoever. He stood oddly on it due to its bizarre shape, but seemed used to it.
Vechs’s eyes drifted up to meet the other man’s eyes and he received another shock. Like he had experienced with Skera, it was just like looking in a mirror, but this time it was far more dramatic. The eyes were duller and had lost most of their brightness, but the likeness was still there.
It was, he noted, exactly like looking in a mirror. A mirror that showed you what you looked like when you had been through worse than hell, a mirror that showed you what you looked like when you had been broken and shattered beyond comprehension.
He was looking into the eyes of a broken Vechs Davion.
One from 483Z, one from 459Y.
The gray-haired man wiped the blood off of his sword on the grass and sheathed it.
“Who are you?” Aureylian finally managed, voice very quiet.
“Not right now.” The man’s voice was rougher than Vechs’s. “Etho has a mere twenty or thirty minutes to live if we don’t get him the antidote.” He reached into a pocket that Vechs hadn’t noticed previously and produced a vial of faintly glowing blue liquid. “I have enough for both of them. Gather the wounded and get back inside. Seth, with me.” He made a jerking motion with his damaged hand. “Open the door and take me to Etho and Blame. I can only hope that it’s not too late.”
He was met with silence.
“Now! I am not letting Etho die again! Not letting Blame die again!” he roared. “I’ve lived this! I fucking know!” He stormed up to Seth. “Open. The damn. Door.”
Seth nodded, stunned and frightened. He started walking, limping on a hurt leg. The gray-haired man followed him, not rushing him.
Vechs pulled himself over to Aureylian.
“Aurey. Aurey Aurey Aurey Aurey…” he mumbled, over and over, hugging her tightly and burying his face in her hair. He shook violently, but not as much as she was. She didn’t even protest as his hug hurt her dislocated shoulder, just shook and weakly hugged him in return.
They stayed like that for about a minute until Paul put a hand on Vechs’s shoulder. “Vechs. We need to get everyone’s injuries checked. Aureylian’s hurt- please let go of her.”
Vechs was about to protest before the words Aureylian’s hurt registered. He quickly let go and looked her over, panicked that perhaps he had missed some fatal wound.
Paul patted his shoulder to reassure him before kneeling by Aureylian. “This is going to hurt.” he warned her, placing his hands on her shoulder. She whimpered and then cried out when he snapped the joint back into place. Vechs hugged her again the moment that Paul released her.
“We should get inside. It looks like it might rain.”
Vechs nodded numbly at Paul’s words but needed Aureylian’s help to stand. They stumbled back to the mountain together, with Paul trailing behind as he carried Arkas. Wounded Mindcrackers dragged and stumbled along with them, some unconscious or otherwise too injured to walk and thus were carried. Vechs didn’t take a tally. All he knew was that he was holding Aureylian’s hand and his eyes were having trouble focusing. He was pretty sure that the back of his head was bleeding but he didn’t really care.
He saw Seth open the door and lead the way inside, the gray-haired man following. As Vechs entered the hallway, he registered that the sounds the man made as he walked rang a bell in his mind, but he couldn’t place where.
They caught up to him at the base of the stairs. The iron dragon foot was not good for climbing them, so he struggled to keep his footing at each step. Seth wasn’t having a good time of it either- his ankle looked broken- but he tried to help the man up. Fortunately, the staircase wasn’t that tall, so they were up within five minutes, letting the others go up. The other Vechs clattered and clanked his way straight over to Etho. Nebris, who had been pacing, reached for the dagger at his side but Seth waved him away.
“This man’s got the antidote, let him through!”
“Doc, get me a syringe. Now! Etho has minutes!” He stopped by Etho’s bed and almost snatched the item from Doc, getting half of the vial within it before jamming it into Etho’s skin right near the wound. He made sure every drop was in the man before pulling the needle out.
Etho was in fate’s hands at this point.
“Once he begins breathing normally, move him to one of the separate rooms. It would be best if he did not have to deal with all of the injured. The same goes for Blame.” The gray-haired man’s arm swept around to indicate the Mindcrackers collapsing on their beds. “Give me another syringe.” He stepped over to Blame and repeated the process.
He handed the items back to Doc. “Blame will recover. I cannot say when it comes to Etho.” His gaze drifted around to the others around the room, quite a few of whom were watching him. “I will explain more about who I am later, but for now, all you need to know is that yes, I am Vechs Davion, and yes, I am from the future. An alternate, doomed future, one you will never experience due to interference from both Norazdomu and myself.” He glanced at Jsano, who was nursing a bad burn on his left shoulder. “I will help in any way I can. I am not here for myself- I am here for all of you.”
“Here.” Jsano tossed him some bandages. “You can start by treating those that are the quietest. They’re the closest to death.”
~~~
Other than some bruises and a cut on the back of his head, Vechs was physically fine. He was still shaken from both nearly losing Aureylian and meeting another version of himself from elsewhere in the timestream. As a result, he clung to Aureylian and anyone else that he knew well that got near him. His eyes were still having trouble focusing but Doc informed him that it was just a side effect of hitting his head and he would be alright soon.
Aureylian was equally shaken. She knew that she was meant to die there. She knew, looking into the face of the other Vechs, that she had died in his timeline. That he had watched her die and broken completely because of it. She could also tell because he refused to look at her- his eyes would fill with pain before he looked away quickly. He may have saved her this time, but she wasn’t the same Aureylian. He had still lost his own.
She didn’t mind her own timeline’s Vechs’s need to cling to her and make sure that she was okay. She didn’t necessarily need him right there at all times, but she understood that he had almost become the other Vechs and he knew it. As much as that shook her, she knew that it shook him more.
The other Mindcrackers had received wounds of varying degrees of severity.
Doc and Nebris had not been in the fighting and were thus undamaged, but no one else escaped that. Arkas had a broken leg and a minor concussion, Bdoubleo was covered in severe burns, Paul had a bad cut across his back, Seth had a broken ankle, Chad had bad burns and had been hit by flying stones from a firey explosion, and Adlington had broken his wrist. Even Windstripped Branch- whom Vechs had forgotten about and had not known about the presence of- received a fractured shoulderblade. The others had a variety of burns, cuts, bruises, and a couple sprains, but nothing as bad as the others. Only a few total Mindcrackers were in any sort of severe or critical condition, and overall, they counted it as only a minor loss. No one had died, and for that they were thankful. Zisteau was the most annoyed at his wounds (primarily burns) and got prickly whenever anyone mentioned that zombie pigmen were meant to be immune to flame- due to how he had been zombified, he had not gained the immunity.
Too many close calls to count.
Etho’s shaky and jagged breathing had leveled out to match that of one who was sleeping in just an hour after the antidote had been administered, something that made Nebris cry quietly with relief. They were all considerably relieved to know that Etho would likely not die from the poison and that they wouldn’t lose him after all. He was moved to a separate room as the gray-haired Vechs had suggested.
Blame had been moved as well, and the unhealthy paleness in his skin had started to fade back to its natural color. His cat was with him constantly, and seemed happier to be in a room without everyone else. Both Etho and Blame had been given windows (also at the other Vechs’s suggestion) so that they wouldn’t be holed up in a small stone room without sunlight. The others could manage due to the size of their room.
~~~
It was just three days later when Blame’s eyes slowly slid open. He lay there momentarily, blinking and trying to get used to the light, before struggling to sit up.
As he moved, he felt a tingling run through his body and his leg suddenly lanced with pain. He flinched and felt what little strength he had had flee, making him fall back onto his back.
“Blame!”
It took him a moment to register Pak’s voice. “Hey, Pak.” He turned his head to look at him. “Wait, how…how’d you get here?”
“Me? I’ve been here! You’re the one that’s been unconscious for a week!”
Blame’s blood chilled. “A week?”
“Just about, I don’t know the exact da- hey woah!” Pak stopped him from getting up. “You need to conserve your strength.”
Blame could feel his energy levels dropping. He couldn’t stay awake a whole lot longer.
“I was thinking a lot…of Varion again.” he mumbled, struggling to keep his eyes open. Seeing Pak had reminded him.
Pak frowned. “You holding up alright?”
“Not really. Went to…went to Ashwatch.”
Pak frowned further. “Why would you-“
“Bloodshadow. I needed to go-“ Blame’s eyes widened and he struggled to get up. “I need to see Kurt. I need Kurt and Paul, Paul has the starcharts, I need to see Kurt-“
“You need to rest, Blame, I’ll get Kurt-“
“Need to…see…need to see…Kurt…” Blame felt his energy drop completely before he passed out. He wouldn’t awaken for several hours.
~~~
Footsteps echoed in the empty stone halls, the sound bouncing around and through his door.
Step.
Clank.
Step.
Clank.
He was asleep, eyes closed against the dim light coming in through the window.
Step.
Clank.
Step.
Clank.
He shifted at the sound of the footsteps, sitting up as he suddenly realized that this wasn’t in his head.
Step.
Clank.
Step.
Clank.
It was real.
Step.
Clank.
Blame was tense as the footsteps paused and the doorknob turned. His breath caught in his throat as it creaked open. He would finally find out what caused the footsteps that had haunted him for months.
He didn’t know what he expected to see, but what came through the door certainly wasn’t it.
“Hello, Blame.” the gray-haired man said, voice rougher than that of Vechs’s. “It’s been a long, long time.”
no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 12:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 01:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
From: (Anonymous) - Date: Friday, May 8th, 2015 02:34 am (UTC) - Expandno subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 12:59 am (UTC)Future Vechs in a dragon-foot amputation......
Vechs = Hiccup. How To Train Your Dragon 3 confirmed?????
I'm just getting desperate now......
You've broken me......
no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 01:04 am (UTC)c:
BUT AREN'T YOU GLAD I DIDN'T KILL RELLY
ER
DIDN'T KILL
THE RELLY THAT MATTERS? XD
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 01:06 am (UTC)G.C.(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)
no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 01:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 02:35 am (UTC)(Oh, shit dude. You doing okay now?)
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 02:25 am (UTC)(::) (::) (::)
-dat awkward anon.
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 02:29 am (UTC)-dat awkward anon
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From: (Anonymous) - Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 03:07 am (UTC) - Expand(no subject)
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From: (Anonymous) - Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 03:19 am (UTC) - Expandno subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 02:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 02:46 am (UTC)And thank you! Gray-haired-Vechs (who will soon have a better name than 'the gray-haired man', I promise) has been an idea in my mind for a very long time and he's probably one of my favorites of them all. <3
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 03:44 am (UTC)What?
What?!
I can't... Um... What?
zombibrain.exe is not responding. Please use harmingpot.jar to repair.
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 04:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 04:26 am (UTC)heaven- sky guy
earth - dude under the forest
nether- fire guy.
power vallor,oth
time- nozdormu
i dont know who vexy guy is supposed to be. but i feel like this makes some sense. maybe. maybe not.
- the snarkyest of lurkers.
.ps. this took way to long to type on my slide/ flip phone
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 12:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 05:16 am (UTC)thanls for not doing this.
- the snarkyest of lurkers
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 12:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 05:54 am (UTC)Step... Clank.
Step. Clank.
Step.Clank.
Stepclank
stepclankstepclankstepclankstepclan- UNNNNH
/breathes heavily/ Nebtho beautiful nebtho
and the PakTC is strong in this one
But you may live and be buried in cookies for this chapter, G/C and good job not killing our Aurey.
(::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 12:15 pm (UTC)But yes Nebtho
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 08:55 am (UTC)TANADIN YOU ARE FANTASTIC THAT WAS GREAT :D
TOTES WASN'T EXPECTING THAT I LOVE IT
SORRY FOR YELLING ITS JUST THAT
STEP CLANK
WAS VECHS ALL ALONG
AND SURPRISE TIME TRAVEL
AND AUREY IS OK
AND ITS TWO VECHSES (THEYRE COMING TO YOUR TOWN)
ok ill stop yelling now soryr
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 12:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 09:41 am (UTC)And is Blame from a parallel universe? Or does he already know Alt!Vetches?
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 12:16 pm (UTC)We will get some more Blame backstory soon though...
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 03:11 pm (UTC)"Oh, no, no, you can't, you wouldn't, no NONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"WHAT?"
*processes bold text*
*laughs*
"Oh, so that was what the weird numbers at the beginning of each chapter was for..."
(I was reading this coming out of school, and one of the the teachers at the gate was quite bemused at why I was laughing. I didn't bother to explain)
AMAZING CHAPTER by the way, and you have got to feel sorry for the grey haired Vechs.
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 04:31 pm (UTC)Thank you, and yes, poor 459Y Vetches.
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 07:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 08:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 08:22 pm (UTC)Deus Ex Machi- oh wait, never mind. This is a good example of a correctly set up DEM - and without people knowing what was going to happen. You'd already established interfering time travelers, the timestamps at the start of chapters, and Step Clank (I had guessed that it was someone with a metal foot), so this works perfectly fine (though it still has the issue with "New thing comes in and fixes all of the problems" issue, but that is a whole different issue (if you want me to go into detail on that, tell me)).
"what little strength he had had flee, making him fall back onto his back." I believe there is a typo or some error here. I can see multiple things this could have meant, so I won't give a corrected version, but I want to point it out anyway.
Additionally, just a suggestion: Have the alternate Vechs adopt a new name (A similar and pronounceable one, please). Not only will this alleviate confusion, but it can also be the start for the road to recovery for actual Vechs (as he can start to identity the other Vechs as a different person). If you’re drawing a black on that, Vathus is a name I’ve used before (I don’t expect you to use it, so don’t feel pressured or anything, it’s just there to help you if you’re stuck).
Sorry for the delayed reply on this and the previous chapter (and possibly not responding to one of your replies, I can't remember), Ending tests are hard.
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 09:19 pm (UTC)I think I meant 'fled' instead of 'flee' but no matter what I do that is kind of an awkward sentence.
I'm already ahead of you on the name thing- he introduces the idea next chapter. The name looks kind of intimidating as it is Dranonic but it's easy to pronounce and has a nice ring to it, I think. (It's also an amusing translation. It means "vex" which is what I had initially wanted to use but did not due to the fact that it's pronounced the same as Vechs.)
I've had a bunch of tests too, so I'm gonna use them as an excuse for that bizarre and awkward sentence from before. XD
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 09:38 pm (UTC)1.) The setting seems to go back and forth between medieval, modern, and sci-fi.
So, you got that lab sorta thing back in the first few chapters of Monstrous that unlocks Vechs' monstrous form. So... Sci-fi?
But... Dragons, power-giving gems, and immortality is a thing. Wouldn't that mean fantasy?
However, several times, they've mentioned modern technology such as cameras and ovens, right?
Nope! How 'bout that time travel?
Then there are the mythological-like gods, alchemists, magical creatures, and enchantments. Also, we know they have access to modern technology, so why are they carrying around swords? A shotgun beats an iron sword any day.
This is very minor, but I'll be reading this, and they'll be like, "Dragons! Magic! Hooray!" And then all the sudden, "Let's take a picture of these stars for Kurt!" It kinda makes me go, "Huh?"
2.) Everything is explained. For example, the opening to this chapter, I feel, is a bit unnecessary. In my opinion, it would be much better the chapter started with future Vechs saving present Aureylian instead of having that scene in 459Y. Its also kind of weird that only in about a couple of short paragraphs, we see 459Y Vechs going from his normal, 20 self to this middle aged-looking person with a prosthetic. I know this is time travel, but this took me about a minute to process. There needs to be more inferences.
3.) The step-clank ending had a lot of build up, but we already know what happens. I don't know what your intentions were, but it's not very suspenseful cause we already know who is making the step-clank sound. The only thing anticipated really is BTC's reaction.
That's really all I have to say. This has been one of the best fan-fictions I've read in a long time, and I hoped this helped. :3
(BTW, I love the hinted PakTC :DDD)
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Date: Thursday, May 7th, 2015 10:54 pm (UTC)2) That was a bit of an awkward transition, I'll admit, but I very much wanted to open the chapter that way. I am by no means perfect so oops. XD
3) The end was not meant to be suspenseful- I ended the chapter there as it was getting long and I wanted to end on something that made you really want to get to the next chapter- wanting to know what their conversation will be about. I mostly just needed to tie it in to the opening italicized paragraph.
Thank you. ^^
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Date: Friday, May 8th, 2015 11:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Friday, May 8th, 2015 11:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: Saturday, May 9th, 2015 10:04 pm (UTC)CONGRATS GUYS WE HIT 100 COMMENTS ON A SINGLE RESIDUAL CHAPTER