[personal profile] ugliano1100 posting in [community profile] mindcracklove
Summary: Goofy Professor Pause and Ninja Assistant Etho attempt to create a superhuman Vechs, but when things go wrong, they travel through time and seek the help of others in order to hunt Vechs down.

Wrote a little longer today, enjoy!


“Careful now…” Pause said to Etho who was switching the strands of Jared’s DNA around.

“Oh! SHUT UP!” Etho shouted irritatedly at Pause. “You’ve been rambling about that every since we started, and you didn’t help out at all!”

“I DID help with the…” Pause started listing out all the things that he had supposedly done. Etho turned around and stared at Pause, before taking out a powerful sleeping drug and injecting it into him. Pause looked around dizzily before falling to the ground asleep.

Etho quickly finished up all the work in the silence. However, Pause started snoring and broke the silence. Etho sighed sadly, before returning to his work again.

When Etho finished he took a short nap as Pause had not woken up yet. 2 hours later, Pause finally woke up. He looked around and saw that Etho had already finished all the work when he was asleep. He shook the sleeping Etho awake and examined Etho’s work.

“Yes! We did it!” Pause jumped up into the air. However, he lost his balance, tripped and fell flat on his face. Etho struggled to keep his face straight as Pause slowly picked himself up and said, “Well, let’s start cloning him.”

Etho went over to the machine that Pause had designed. It was a cube-like structure that towered over both of them. Etho carefully placed the diamond dish with Jared’s mutated DNA into the drawer in the machine. He pushed it in and both of them backed off into another room that overlooked the machine. The machine had broken down before and caused many problems - including one that caused ants to swarm around the whole place for two weeks. Not to mention when the whole place flooded with acid.

Pause sat down on the command chair and swivelled it around a few times just for fun. Etho rolled his eyes and stared at him. Pause immediately got back to work and started typing extra long lists of command. On the diamond screen in front of them, numbers were flashing and the computer predicted exactly how the new Jared would look like.

The new Jared was called Vechs. A normal human uses 3% of their brain power, while Vechs would have 20% of his brain power unlocked. Vechs would be tall, lean and quite handsome. He would also have some awesome superhuman abilities, which included the ability to fall of 51 storey buildings without breaking a single bone as well as being able to survive solely on frozen green beans for years. Etho and Pause were doing this as an experiment to see if they could build immortal soldiers that would not age and die unless their heads were hacked off very violently.

“Let’s hope that the machine doesn’t break down again, or our efforts will be in vain,” Etho whispered, as if he would jinx it if it talked about it too loudly.

“It will NOT break down this time,” Pause said. “Under my awesome leadership, I have improved the machine very much, such that nothing will ever, ever, ever go wrong again this time.”

“That’s what you said the last 38291103 times we did this.” Etho said mockingly.

Pause gave him a glare before he raised his arms in a dramatic gesture and waved them around as if he was conducting an orchestra. “3, 2, 1, ACTION!” Pause screamed quite foolishly before pressing the red button that was marked ‘DOOOOOOOOOM’. He thought that it would look cool and awesome, but actually it was quite stupid.

There was a blinding flash of light from the machine and it rumbled loudly before stopping. The huge doors of it opened and smoke billowed out. For few seconds, Pause and Etho thought that it was a failure. Then, Vechs stepped out, looking quite dazed but alright. They hugged each other at their success and danced around.

<cues 1812 Overture finale music>


“DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM!” The alarm wailed loudly. Pause and Etho looked around in shock. When the looked down into the room, they noticed that the door had been ripped off its hinges and that Vechs was gone!

Immediately, Etho slammed the emergency button. Lights were flashing and the words “EMERGENCY” appeared on the screen. Pause ran around the room in fright like a headless chicken, screaming, “DEATH AND DOOM!”. All the emergency doors were closing but Vechs was too clever and fast for them.

Suddenly, Etho noticed that Vechs was breaking into the armoury. He quickly commanded the room to self-destruct and hopefully blow up Vechs too. Vechs had broken in and had already taken a plasma pistol and rifle, a ray sniper, a black hole launcher, nuclear grenades and was now putting on some titanium-diamond armour. And not to mention designer-branded sunglasses. Some of the Pause’s hair had dropped into the cube machine in the process.

“BOOOOOOOOM!” There was a shocking explosion and the ground shook. The screaming Pause had hidden himself beneath the table and now refused to come out. Etho looked at the screen and could not believe his eyes. There, standing among the ruins of the armoury, stood Vechs in his shining armour and looking quite cool with his designer-branded sunglasses.

“THAT’S MY SUNGLASSES YOU IDIOT!” Pause shouted in rage as he noticed Vechs.

Etho immediately jumped into action. He knew that he could not let Vechs escape as he was very dangerous. He smashed through the window and ran after the route where Vechs had took.

Vechs was now on his way to the Time-Portal. Now that they thought about it, it wasn’t really a time portal, more like a device that would locate an alternate universe in the time period selected, things may or may not be different depending on which time you choose to go to. When Etho reached the time portal, Vechs was fiddling around with the controls and setting the date and time where he wanted to travel to. As soon as Etho stepped out of the shadows, Vechs turned around to look at Etho and the now panting Pause, who caught up after running like what seemed like a marathon.

“I had created you, but I will now have to kill you,” whispered Pause.

“By all means, try so. YOU WILL NEVER KILL ME!” shouted Vechs. Suddenly, two more arms grew out from Vech’s back and grabbed the two plasma rifles. Two burning holes had appeared on the wall where they had disappeared. Vechs gave a smug look, thinking that both of them were dead.

Suddenly, he was smashed onto the ground and claws dug into his neck and back, tearing out the flesh and making blood gush out. Vechs merely grabbed Etho and flung him across the room. Vechs pressed the button and the Time-Portal glowed. Vechs waved good bye and stepped into the portal. Etho rushed over, shouting, but the machine was already rattling furiously, a sign of successful time-warping. Out of the blue, a red crimson flame burst across the room! Pause was back! He aimed furiously at the Time-Portal, ensuring Vechs did not time-warp away. The Time-Portal melted like butter, and soon there laid its charred remains. Surely nothing could stand in the way of the sheer heat of 2500 degrees. However, it was too late. Vechs had vanished, leaving his sunglasses, the only object which did not warp away.

Pause picked it up. “We’re back in business. Hopefully.”

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