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[personal profile] sunsetmondays posting in [community profile] mindcracklove
It's a day or so late, but here's my valentine's day fic with some nice happy OOG for all you wonderful people. <3 Enjoy!
And special thanks to silvercheers for doing an awesome job at beta'ing this for me so late at night. <3

Sometimes, when you meet someone, you just get this feeling about them – you instantly click like you’ve known each other all your life. They become the yellow to your green and before you know it, you don’t even dare to imagine a life without them. Your life is filled by this burning ache deep in your chest that fills your very being. It’s terribly cliché, but there really is no other way to describe it than 'it hurts so good'. You have your ups and your downs with each other but sometimes you come to live for the moments when they make you smile like there’s no tomorrow, your inner being shining with a warmth and a passion indescribable by the billions of words that make up the languages of the world.

And then the delicate string that always holds you together snaps and what’s almost become an impeccably given part of your life falls away and no matter how hard you try to sometimes forgive, and sometimes forget, nothing seems to go away.

~ ~ ~

Bdoubleo stood up and opened the window for what must've been the hundredth time today. The early hours of the morning had called his waking with the almost deafening screech of birds too self-conceited to know how painfully annoying their calls were and the soft glow of the morning sun as it began to peak through the snow-dusted spruce trees outside his window. He'd stayed in bed for almost an hour, caught staring thoughtlessly at the ceiling before finally giving in to the pleas of his growling stomach and serving breakfast for one. A simple bowl of oatmeal had sat steaming at the table as he began to plot out his plans for the day.

Do some work on Etho's arena, explore that cave to the south-west of his jungle biome, and the spend the rest of the day fiddling with some designs for an upcoming secret project - it was a simple enough day and it would be marginally pleasant to be working out in the sun with a gentle breeze taking the edge off of any unwanted heat. And after finishing his breakfast, he was more than ready to head out and get the day started.

Closing the door behind him, he had stood out in his front yard, hand held to shield his eyes from the glare of the sun that still sat fairly low in the sky, and he had watched. The air was crisp and clean, tinged with the pleasant earthy scent of the damp, earthy forest, and if it weren't from the chattering birds hidden up in the trees, he might've thought the day was rather peaceful. That was until the almost-silence was stirred into the loud echoes of cheery laughter as MC and Millbee came skipping up the road, hand in hand and dressed in matching t-shirts coloured the gaudiest shade of pink to ever send a man blind.

Then, he had remembered. The words dripped thickly with acid and derision smeared across the thought so much that only the most careful of observers would be able to pick out something else, something softer hidden behind the copious smear – Valentine’s day. Probably the most overrated, unnecessarily frivolous, and irritatingly repulsive day of the year. Bdoubleo absolutely despised it and now, doing anything but leave the house sounded like an unfathomably horrible idea.

And so Bdoubleo had opened the window for what must've been the hundredth time today before he dumped himself back down on the couch, changed positions several times while unable to get comfortable, and again decided it was now too cold, getting up to close the window again. If anyone were to come around and ask, no, he wasn't restless or bored, not even lonely. And he certainly wasn't brooding, sick of the one direction his thoughts kept relentlessly nagging him to follow. All he wanted to do was take a nap and get this stupid-ass day over and done with.

The clock ticked the seconds by, the spindly hands reading almost a quarter to ten. He'd barely slept for half an hour and the dreamless nap had been no more satisfying than watching dough rise. Bdoubleo stood up and paced the length of the room once, then twice, before deciding it did nothing to ease his boredom. Nor did it do anything to help ease the familiar ache settling just beyond his senses in the centre of his chest.

He knew he had sworn to himself that he wouldn't a long time ago, but the thoughts were clawing at his insides. Sometimes he got by pretending to be more than just himself, but some days it was worse, so much worse that it was almost like a physical force blinding him of the past and leaving him stranded on his knees barely able to move. Today, whilst incomparable to such days, only served as a reminder of everything these darn emotions had put him through and he knew he’d come to a tipping point. The decision was clear as day in front of him and he couldn't even pretend that he hadn't already made up his mind.

Four hard knocks against the door surrounded by jungle green. Bdoubleo didn't expect an answer—could only hope that there wouldn't be—but today the universe couldn't even pretend that he was favoured by luck.

There he was, with his messy blond hair and caring eyes glittering in a shade not quite mint green. Bdoubleo felt his breath hitch in his throat and nearly choked as he tried to swallow his nerves. "Hey, guy. This is a bit of an unexpected visit," Guude said and Bdoubleo swore he could taste the indifference that he surely couldn't be imagining.

"Yeah, uh... Look. I've been thinking and I know it's been a while but I guess we kinda need to talk."

"Sure, Bdubs. Come on in."



"No thanks, I don't think this'll take long."

Guude took his place on the couch, relaxed and blissfully unaware. Bdouble politely refused a seat and tucked his hands into his jeans pockets to subdue their slight tremor. The words fumbled through his brain and gathered at the back of his throat. He took a breath, parted his lips slightly then swallowed, his pulse thrumming against his throat. Guude shifted ever so slightly and raised an eyebrow in that way of his and Bdoubleo could almost hear the unspoken "Well?" echoing through the room in Guude's cheery voice.

"Like I said, I've been thinking," Bdoubleo began and the words came pouring out in a breathless spiel. Every thought, every action, every emotion since the split had become official. Months and months and months of pent-up regrets and emotions worked their way into the air. Every up and every down in a rollercoaster of sentences strung with pain, second chances, and longing glances as the other walked away. His face was undeniably tinged pink and more than a little warm, but he was too lost in his own stream of consciousness to mind.

"... I know we've had more than our fair share of ups and downs and I know that so much has changed - a new home, new friends, and a new day and all of a sudden everyone acts like we're completely different people. But sometimes, some things never change." Bdoubleo stood there, panting. The fire that fuelled his words had dimmed to a smoulder and he could barely hold his own bodyweight. This was it. He'd all but admitted it and now he stood there with only the sound of his ragged breaths between them, waiting for any sort of response.

After what seemed like a lifetime of waiting, Guude finally spoke. “I think I know what you mean, and I’m sorry, but I can’t say I feel the same.”

~ ~ ~

... and sometimes it all falls apart.

~ ~ ~

No regrets. no regrets at all.

Date: Saturday, February 15th, 2014 11:10 am (UTC)
silvercheers: (Default)
From: [personal profile] silvercheers
asdjfkahl MY OOG FEELS. Seriously, this resonates with me so much, there are no words. You did a wonderful job, Sunset.

(so subtle, that 'no regrets' line ;3)

Date: Saturday, February 15th, 2014 03:31 pm (UTC)
theropod: (Default)
From: [personal profile] theropod
God damnit Sunset, this is revenge for what I'm doing isn't it?



Date: Saturday, February 15th, 2014 09:53 pm (UTC)
wildh10l: (Default)
From: [personal profile] wildh10l
YOU DID NOT JUST!!!!! ...................


Date: Saturday, February 15th, 2014 10:57 pm (UTC)
bookworm2692: Cartoon picture of green worm reading (Default)
From: [personal profile] bookworm2692
Aw, no, sunset, don't. Don't do this to my feels. Why couldn't it have been happy?

Date: Sunday, February 16th, 2014 06:19 pm (UTC)
secretagentsarah: (Default)
From: [personal profile] secretagentsarah
oh nooooo.
he doesn't feel the same because he feels more right?


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