Nights Alone

Saturday, January 11th, 2014 11:08 pm
sunsetmondays: salad (Default)
[personal profile] sunsetmondays posting in [community profile] mindcracklove
Originally sent to my secret santa giftee via tumblr as their christmas present, I thought that since a lot of you people like sms, may as well post it here too. Basically, a couple of short fics as my attempt at writing angsty sms while my brain went ?!?!?!?! on how to write it.

Kurt sighed as he stared longingly out the window. There Zisteau was, running around in that cold and dreary snow without a care in the world. Zisteau's smile beamed and Kurt felt himself smiling too, swept along by Zisteau's wondrous joy in the simple things that always warmed Kurt's heart. The adventurous gleam in Zisteau's eyes as he gallivanted through the snow, determined to build the most complex and extravagant snowman widened Kurt's smile as he imagined the look of pride and satisfaction that Zisteau would show when he dragged Kurt into the cold to show him his work. Yes, Kurt knew he would groan and grumble at the damp in his clothes, but he too would beam as he shared the happy moment with his closest friend.

Kurt sighed again, leaning against the window sill as he continued his imaginings. "Yikes, it's really getting cold out here," he'd say as he smiled at Zisteau, melting snow dripping from his nose. Then he'd invite Zisteau in for a coffee and he'd graciously accept. Kurt would laugh and tell jokes while they snuggled up next to the fire and Wolfie would pounce, licking them until they dissolved into fits of giggles. The sun would go down and sleep would begin to butt their heads. And maybe, just maybe, long after the shadows have consumed the daylight, their lips would accidentally brush. He would stammer an apology and Zisteau would blush but pull him closer and they'd kiss again with the most wonderful warmth that would set Kurt's heart ablaze. Kurt would ask Zisteau to stay the night and a simple yes would be all they could share before swallowed by the darkness.

Chin in hand, Kurt slowly opened his eyes and looked back out the window to see Zisteau heading towards his door, covered in snow and beaming with excitement. And so Zisteau dragged Kurt through the snow and Kurt surely did grumble and complain as the cold nipped at his nose and melted snow soaked through his coat. When the two finally made it back to Kurt's cabin, soaked through and shivering as they turned their backs to the setting sun, they stood on the porch with only the doorway separating the two. 'Do you want to come in for some coffee or something like that?' The words stood perched at the back of Kurts throat as time seemed to still before him. His breath hitched as he tried to form the words, only to have them drowned out by every worry and fear that he'd only be rejected - laughed at and left behind. He swallowed his words and gingerly smiled in the twilight, afraid it came out more as a grimace. An awkward silence and a nervous farewell.

Tonight, Kurt would dream alone, wishing for a sip of courage and dreaming of more than a friend.

A deep rumbling yawn echoed through the forest. Zisteau cracked his knuckles and stretched his arms into the air, feeling the wariness sinking into his body. It had been a long hard day or trekking through the landscape looking for the perfect location for one of his planned builds. His calves ached and his legs were slightly scratched up from a daring adventure through a jungle with plenty of sharp rocks and loose branches that left a sharp sting in their wake. Unfortunately, the search had been rather unfruitful and the only thing that kept him from abandoning the entirety of the days plans was company that had been invited to tag along.

Zisteau was pleasantly surprised when Kurt accepted his invitation to join him on his search for terrain. Normally, Kurt was quiet and withdrawn, rarely seen throughout the day and often missing from the many group events held in the community. Zisteau thoroughly enjoyed Kurt's company and was often rather disappointed when Kurt didn't put his name down for UHC or rejected an invite to the latest round of spawn derpage. His witty humour and well-honed snark made any situation vastly more entertaining and his swordsmanship, which Kurt was always all too humble about, was something he greatly admired. Though, one thing that Zisteau liked the most about Kurt was when he went off on a passionate tangent about something sciency or spacey. While most of the time, Zisteau had no idea what Kurt was on about, he was more than happy to listen to the soothing sound of Kurt's voice.

With a small smile, he and Kurt continued to trek through the forest, the edge of spawn looming over the edge of the trees. For this last short leg of their trip, both parties were rather silent, but Zisteau didn't mind. Even the gentle sound of Kurt breathing nearby was rather comforting and he wouldn't mind being a little closer - feeling that very breath warm against his ski… 'No,' Zisteau thought to himself, trying to shake away the image forming in his mind. "He's just a friend and that's it - nothing more. He's not the kind of guy to… like people and I'll only end up getting myself hurt." Zisteau sighed to himself before rubbing his brow and giving Kurt a cautious glance, glad that he hadn't noticed the slight hiccup in his demeanor.

The two broke through the trees and walked the last couple of hundred blocks into the spawn town, stopping in front of the fountain outside of Town Hall. Kurt looked up shyly, giving a weak smile before working out what to say. "Today was nice," he said. Zisteau fidgeted slightly, resisting the urge to reach out and touch Kurt and maybe even pull him into a hug.

"Yeah," replied Zisteau, resorting to fiddling with the collar of his shirt instead, "it was nice and I wouldn't mind doing it again sometime."

Kurt nodded, his smile widening slightly. "Me too. So, I guess this is goodbye then. I guess I'll see you around." Kurt waved and began to turn away as Zisteau muttered a farewell. He walked several steps before Zisteau called out behind him.

"Hey!" Zisteau felt his heart begin to race as the words formed in the back of his throat. 'Want to come back to my place for a drink or something?' The words were on the tip of his tongue as Kurt turned back towards him with a questioning glance. He swallowed as a wave of doubt felt bitten on his tongue. "Stay safe," he said, slumping in defeat.

"Yeah, I will," Kurt stuttered, giving Zisteau an uncertain glance before turning away and disappearing into the shimmering violet of the nether portal.

That night, Zisteau watched the sun disappear behind the peaks of the distant hills, a glass of single malt scotch held half-empty in his hand and the flourish of a long trench coat as what could only be more than friend as he turned away replaying in his mind. "If only…" he whispered to the wind, frowning as the echoes of a far-off howl welcomed the world into darkness.

Date: Saturday, January 11th, 2014 09:58 pm (UTC)
silvercheers: (Default)
From: [personal profile] silvercheers
ajksldhf, you two foolish people. D: I choose to believe they do this again sometime and one of them grows a pair.

Date: Sunday, January 12th, 2014 02:53 am (UTC)
red_wolf: (Default)
From: [personal profile] red_wolf
I'm still wallowing in sadness from reading this in my inbox so many times.

I forget if I said it or not, but thank you so much.


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