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Let's learn a little more about Zisteau...

Kurt glanced up at Zisteau, his blue eyes dull; his heart and his brain waging a war. He wanted to put that faith in Zisteau; he wanted to maybe try for Zisteau, but he just wasn't sure. He didn't know if he could trust Zisteau, though he already felt as if maybe he trusted him a little.

He let out a deep breath. "I'll try Zisteau... I'll try for you..." He spoke shakily, tears slowly falling down his face.

Zisteau wrapped his arms around Kurt, hugging him tightly. Kurt hugged back, finding a little bit of comfort from it.

"Just don't kill yourself, okay?" Zisteau whispered.

"I can't promise... But I'll try to keep going." Kurt whispered back, letting the tears fall onto Zisteau's shoulder as he finally let it all out.

He let the tears fall in streams as sobs racked through his thin, frail, and feeble body. He felt so weak; so tired; so drained. It wasn't even one and all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and sleep.

"It's okay Kurt." Zisteau murmured, rubbing Kurt's back. "It'll be okay... I've got ya."

Kurt just cried and cried, unable to stop as the sadness spread through his body, replacing the numbness that had so recently been the only thing he had felt.

"I-I miss him!" He sobbed, not even knowing why he was talking, but he couldn't stop the words as they flowed out of his mouth. "I just want him back..."

"Who?" Zisteau asked gently, keeping Kurt wrapped tightly in his arms.

"My dad.... I-I want him back..." He spoke quietly, his voice muffled by Zisteau's shoulder. "He-he's the only one that actually cared... I-I came out to him the day before he passed and-and he told me that he loved me and he would always support me and be there for me... He-he... He..." Was all he could say before he felt like he just couldn't utter another word.

"He would be proud of you Kurt." Zisteau says quietly. "He would be so proud of you."

Kurt didn't say anything as he cried, hanging onto Zisteau as if he were the only thing keeping him in this world, which seemed oh so cruel.

After a long time, the two just sitting there, one comforting the other, Kurt finally moved away from Zisteau, who gave him a small smile.

"T-thank you Zisteau..."

Zisteau gave him a smile. "You're welcome Kurt. Feel free to do that anytime you need."

Kurt felt his cheeks heat up slightly as he ducked his head.

Zisteau smiled gently. "It's almost time for dinner, you want to go get something to eat?"

"I guess." Was Kurt's reply.

He slowly stood up, his legs feeling like jello as he leaned against the wall for support as his vision started spinning. Zisteau was instantly at his side.

"Are you okay?" Zisteau asked worriedly.

Kurt took in a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before releasing it again. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. His eyes opened as he released the air. He felt steadier.

"Y-yeah... I'm just really weak..." He finally replied, his voice uneven.

"You sure you're okay?"

He nodded. "I think so."

Zisteau looked worried and unsure as Kurt pushed himself off of the wall. He followed after Kurt, who started towards the cafeteria, looking shaky as he walked. The two got dinner and sat at the same table from earlier that day. The three other boys were already there eating and talking.

"Hey guys." Zisteau greeted as he sat down. "How'd your treatment go?"

Pause shrugged. "Okay I guess."

"When's your next checkup?"

"Tomorrow... I'm nervous."

"I hope it goes good."

"Me too."

Kurt listened to them all talk as he picked up his fork. He poked at his food, which didn't look appetizing in the slightest.

"Kurt." Zisteau says gently, catching his attention. "Eat? Please?"

Kurt sighs and nods, not speaking.

"What's with him?" Beef asks, giving Kurt a curious glance.

Kurt just shrugged when Zisteau looked at him questioningly.

"He has an eating disorder."

"Oh..." All three said in unison.

Kurt ignored them as he took tentative bites of his mashed potatoes.

"I heard you actually walked today Beef!" Pause says with a bright smile.

"Yeah." Beef says sheepishly. "The prosthetics they gave me are weird, but at least it's better than a wheelchair."

"Then why are you still in your wheelchair?"

"Because I can't actually walk without help and even then it's a struggle."

"You'll get it soon enough Beef! I'm sure of it!" Etho says encouragingly.

"The doc said as soon as I can walk on my own I'll be able to leave! I'm excited for it!"

"Sooner than any of us." Pause says sadly.

"Come on Pause, I'm sure you'll be able to go home soon too."

"I hope so. I miss my family."

Kurt glanced up at them finally, tears glistening in his eyes again. "C-can we not talk about family?" He asks quietly, struggling to keep from crying.

"Touchy subject?"

He nods.

"Sorry." Beef apologizes, giving Kurt a hesitant smile.

He went back to slowly eating his food. He had actually managed to eat at least half of what he had gotten. His stomach hurt, but not to the extent that he felt like he was going to throw up again.

"Well we're gonna go play a board game, feel free to join us." Etho says as Pause, Beef, and himself get up.

"We might join you later." Zisteau says, giving Kurt a glance.

They nod as they head from the room, Pause pushing Beef's wheelchair.

Kurt pushed the tray of food away from himself slightly. "I'm done." He said quietly.

Zisteau gave him an encouraging smile. "Thank you for trying."

He bit his lip slightly, looking at Zisteau with sad eyes. "Don't leave me yet?"

"I won't." Zisteau gives him a gentle smile.

"I-I just.... If you leave I might.... I might do something to myself."

"You mean...?"

"Cut myself." He spoke, his voice almost inaudible.

"Oh." Zisteau lips fell to a thin line. "Then I won't leave your side."

They threw their trash away and went to Kurt's room, where they sat on his bed facing each other.

"What do you normally do here?" Kurt asks curiously, trying to keep his mind off of everything.

"Play games, read, talk with the guys." Zisteau shrugs. "There's not too much to do."

Kurt was silent for a second, though a thought crossed his mind. "You never told me why you're here."

"Oh." Zisteau says, his lips falling to a thin line. "Just some heart problems."

Kurt gave him a questioning look.

Zisteau sighed. "I have a really weak heart..." He bit his lip. "And I have a pace maker right now; I have for as long as I can remember, but it's only temporary while I wait for a heart transplant."

"Oh... But you're okay, right?"

"Yeah, I think I'll be okay... The doctors say it's questionable if I don't get the transplant soon... But I'm hopeful."

Kurt gulped. "How soon do you think you'll get it?"

Zisteau shrugs. "Not sure. But I know my name isn't that high on the list. But the doctors say that the pacemaker should keep me alive till then... Or so they hope."

"What is it like having a pacemaker?"

"Doesn't really feel any different I guess... It was painful at first because of the incision, but it's better now."

Kurt looks at him curiously. "How does it even work?"

"Basically, it monitors my heartbeat and makes sure it's beating properly and corrects it when it's not."

"Sounds scary..."

"It is, but it's the only thing keeping me going."

"How long have you been here?" Kurt asks after a moment or two of silence.

"Nine months." Zisteau answers sadly.

"Have you been waiting that long for the transplant?"

Zisteau nods. "Yeah, I have."

"Why don't they let you go home?"

"Because I have such a weak heart they're afraid of what'll happen if I do leave and they can't keep a close eye on me."

"I'm sorry." Was all Kurt could think to say.

"It's okay." Zisteau gives him a small smile. "It's not like my stay hasn't been that bad."

A small smile tugs at Kurt's lips. "That's good."

"Yeah, I mean I met Etho, Beef, and Pause and now you."

"I'm just glad you're gonna be here with me..." Kurt admits quietly.

"I'm glad I'm gonna be here with you too."

They sat in silence for a few moments as that thought hung in the air. They were glad they had each other. They hadn't even known each other for more than a day, yet they were glad they had each other. Kurt stared at him for a moment, just thinking. He hadn't felt this okay in a long time. And, Zisteau was the one who made him feel that way. Actually, Zisteau made him actually feel emotions again instead of always feeling numb.

A knock on the door snapped Kurt from his thoughts. "Alright Z, you gotta head to your room for your nightly routine and then lights out." Lauren says as she enters the room.

"Alright." Zisteau frowns slightly. "I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast?"

Kurt nods. "Yeah, I'll see you at breakfast."

"Night Kurt, sleep well."

"You too." Kurt says as Zisteau heads from the room, leaving Lauren and himself.

"Did you eat?" She asked curiously as she stood beside the bed where he sat.

He nodded. "I ate some of my dinner."

She smiled brightly at him. "That's amazing Kurt!"

He smiled slightly. "I didn't throw up either."

"That's even better!" She beamed at him. "Was Z the reason you ate?"

He nodded. "Yeah... We had a talk earlier and... Yeah..." Was all he could seem to say.

"Well I'm glad. The sooner you get to a healthy weight, the sooner you get to leave."

He let out a sigh. "Great... That's exactly what I want... To go back to my uncle..."

"Well let's not think about that right now, okay?"

He just shrugged. "Sure."

"Anyway, you're starting the anti-depressants tomorrow. Should help with your eating issues a little too."

"Alright." He nodded.

"Lights out is at ten." She gives him a smile as she heads towards the door. "Night Kurt."


She closes the door gently behind her as she leaves the room. It was only nine, but he was feeling overly tired. He got up and went to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and ran a comb through his messy brown hair. After he'd finished he went back to his bed and curled up under the blankets, quickly falling asleep.

Date: Thursday, August 11th, 2016 07:30 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
It just now occurred to me that this is going to be heart breaking. (::)
-Observing Anon

Date: Thursday, August 11th, 2016 09:36 pm (UTC)
scara: Steampunk hat (Default)
From: [personal profile] scara
Could be literally in Zisteau's case....

Date: Friday, August 12th, 2016 01:51 am (UTC)
theamazingpika: I drew her/him myself :3 (Default)
From: [personal profile] theamazingpika
I dont know how to react to this other than an oh my god why

Date: Friday, August 12th, 2016 12:48 am (UTC)
scara: Steampunk hat (Default)
From: [personal profile] scara
True this is one of your stories Bubble XP

Date: Saturday, August 13th, 2016 12:56 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Well, I mean, I'm reading 8 books right now plus this, so it kind of slipped my mind to be worried.
-Observing Anon

Date: Thursday, August 11th, 2016 09:37 pm (UTC)
scara: Steampunk hat (Default)
From: [personal profile] scara
Ok so not stage 4 cancer but still on a time limit......

*checks bag of cookies*

That means you get 2 cookies at the moment (::)(::)

Date: Friday, August 12th, 2016 12:49 am (UTC)
scara: Steampunk hat (Default)
From: [personal profile] scara
*locks bag of cookies away in a safe*

And that's all you get for now, you may get more depending on how the story goes......

Date: Friday, August 12th, 2016 08:55 pm (UTC)
scara: Steampunk hat (Default)
From: [personal profile] scara
You get more depending on how the story goes XP


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