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His greatest fear was being like him.


"Just go to sleep hon, it'll all be better tomorrow."

"How can you say that mom? It'll never get better..." Zisteau says sadly, looking at the white sheets.

"Because I know it will."

"But dad left, you forced us to move and I have no friends, I never will." Zisteau pouts.

"I know sweety, I know, but you'll find friend soon, I just know you will." She brushes some of Zisteau's blonde hair out of his face. "Now go to sleep sweetheart, you have school tomorrow."

"Don't remind me." Zisteau sighs as he laid down on his side, his back to his mother as he stared at the chips in the blue paint.

He heard his mother sigh as she left the room, closing the door softly behind her. He knew she was trying, but nothing felt right anymore, not since his dad had left them. He didn't even know why, but he blamed himself. He wasn't even old enough to truly understand anything. Seven, that's how old he was. His father left almost a month ago, which had ruined his life. He sighed and closed his eyes, desperate to get some sleep, which came shortly.


Just another day alone, Zisteau made his way down the road to his work down house him and his mother shared. It had been four years since his father had abandoned them, for horrible lonely years, which had only torn him down and made him feel like nothing. The house was silent as he entered, he knee his mom wouldn't be home till late because of the two jobs she worked.

He felt bad for her, but his own self loathing was the one thing he usually felt. He still blamed himself for his father leaving, he always would, there was nothing that convince him otherwise. He threw his bag down on the couch and grabbed his skateboard before heading back out the house. He road down the sidewalk, just wanting to clear his head, which ask keys seemed to be full of dark thoughts.

"Hey, kid, come here." Called a boy, who looked to be his own age who also has a skate board.

He briefly pondered ignoring the kid, but decided to see what he wanted. "What do you want?" He questions, skating up to them.

"You wanna try some?" The kid asked, holding out a lit joint.

He stared at it for a second and shrugged, taking it. Couldn't hurt, right? He took a drag of it, and instantly stated coughing, but the feeling accompanied it was a welcome one. It made that weight on his shoulders a little lighter.

"What's your name?" The kid asked.

"Zisteau, but you can call me Z." He said, handing the joint back to the other.

"Vechs, it's a pleasure to meet you." The other, Vechs said, pure mischief in his icy blue eyes.


"Hand over the bottle Vechs, it's been a long day." Zisteau says, motioning good the bottle of vodka Vechs had been hogging.

"It's your birthday dude, how can it be that bad?"

"My mom found out and wants me out of the house, especially know that I'm eighteen." He says, talking a big swig from the bottle, loving the way the clear liquid burned his throat.

"Shit dude, that sucks, you can crash here till you find somewhere to stay."

"Thanks man."


Another hit of the joint and another long drink of vodka, loud music, plenty of girls all in skimpy clothing. Just another typical night, ever since he dropped out of highschool to follow his 'dream' of being a singer. He knew his mother hated him, but he couldn't care. His father hatred him too, but that was evident when he left all those years ago. He never stopped blaming himself, but alcohol drowned his sorrows.

He likes to blame his terrible life on his father. But where was he to blame anyone but himself, for he'd made all of these terrible decisions, but none of that mattered now, these were the cards he was dealt and he just had to deal with it.

"Quit sulking and enjoy yourself." Vechs says, his icy blue eyes hazy from alcohol, among other things, and a girl on his arm.

"I'm not sulking." He said defensively.

"Don't even lie Z you are. Now quit nursing that drink and come dance."

He sighed and drank the rest of the vodka in one swig and slammed the cup on the counter before joining Vechs on the dance floor.


"What happened to you Zisteau, you used to be such a good kid."

"Life happened mom." He says as he glances up from his phone.

"Your thirty now, you should be working instead of smoking pot and depending on your friends."

"I'll do whatever I want."

"But what about that girl you said your met and your started dating."

"What about her?"

"Don't you want to make her happy?"

"Why does it matter? Nothing does now."

She sighs deeply. "I give up, Zisteau, I just give up. I've tried so hard to keep you safe, I thought I raised you to be better than this."

"It wasn't you, it was the fucker I'm supposed to call my father." He says coldly. "He's the reason we moved away from my only friends and all of our family. He's the reason my life sucks so fucking much." He says as he gets up and slams the door behind him. "I'm done with this shit."

Rain poured down as he left his mother's house. The rain soaked through his clothing, causing him to shiver, but he couldn't care. He didn't care what happened to him at this point. He could die and he wouldn't care. He failed his father, his mother, he failed everyone and he was just better off dead.


He awoke to a knock on his bedroom door, which stopped the horrible dream. He sat up quickly, sweat beeding on his forehead, causing his hair to stick to it.

"Time to....are you ok?"

"I-I had a terrible dream."

"Zisteau honey, it was just a dream, every thing will be ok, I'm positive of it."

He just nodded and got up. He got dressed and grabbed his bag, heading down the hallway and into the kitchen where his mom had a bowl of cereal waiting for him. He sat down and scarfed it down.

"Just try to be happy today, ok?" She says, handing him a brown paper bag with his lunch in it.

"I'll try." He says sadly.

"Good." She gives him a hopeful smile. "Oh, and I wont be home when you get back from school, you'll be ok on your own, right?"

"Yeah, I'll be ok."

"Alright, love you sweetie, have a good day."

He waves to her as he heads out the door to catch the bus. He climbed on the bus when it arrived and found an open seat. He sat quietly, trying not to draw attention to himself.

"Aww look little Zisteau looks scared." An older kid teases, throwing a piece of wadded up paper at him, causing him to flinch.

He shrunk in his seat and tried to hide in his coat. This was the reason he didn't like school. Everyone picked on him, and it has caused him to cry himself to sleep some nights. As soon as they reached school he dated off the bus, trying to get to his classroom as soon as possible. The first half of the day went by slowly, with the occasional paper ball thrown at him, or hurtful words spoken.

When it was time for lunch, be was thankful. But, it didn't last long as he was cornered by two older kids.

"Give us your lunch twerp." The bigger of the two demanded.

He handed it over without a second thought. The bigger of the two looked in it before glancing back at him. "What's this shit? There's basically nothing."

"It's because his father left him and they can't afford shit."

Tears stung his eyes as the bigger of the two punched him in the stomach and threw the small bag of food in the trash and walked away laughing. He collapsed against the brick wall of the school as the tears slid down his pale cheeks.

"Are you uh..... are you ok?" Came a hesitant, quiet voice.

he glanced up, his teary blue-green eyes landing on a tall lanky boy with messy brown hair and blue eyes. "N-no." He sobbed.

"The bullies getting to you?" The boy asked, sitting beside him.

He nodded.

The boy sent him a sad smile. "Yeah, they do that to me too. I've learned to avoid them." The boy seemed more confident the longer he spoke, though he still seemed rather shy and hesitant. "I'm Kurt, by the way."

"Z-Zisteau... But you-you can call me Z."

Kurt pulled a lunchbox out of his bag and opened it. He took out a sandwich, which Zisteau looked at longingly, knowing he might not actually get to eat dinner tonight, because he knee that couldn't afford it.

"Did they take your lunch?"

He nods.

"Here, you can have some of mine." Kurt says with a kind smile, giving him half of the sandwich and part of the chips.

"T-thanks." He says shakily.

"It's no problem." Kurt says with a small smile.


"Let me just throw down my stuff and grab my board." He said to the boy who followed behind him.

"Don't throw it, you might break something." Kurt teases, a sly smile on his face.

He just chuckled and grabbed his skateboard. "I'm so glad your finally letting me teach you how to ride."

"I still don't trust myself."

"You'll do fine."

"Ok.." Kurt says unsurely.

He just smiled at his shy friend as they walked down the side walk. They approached the skate park and he set his skate board down.

"You'll do fine, just trust yourself." He did encouragingly as Kurt stepped into the board.

He watched as Kurt tried moving forward, but only ended up landing on his butt. He ran towards his friend, who was sitting on the ground looking dazed. He squatted down beside him, looking him in the eyes, though he couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you ok?" He laughed.

Kurt chuckled. "I don't think I'll ever be able to skate like you."

He couldn't help the smile that spread on his face, or the tug he felt on his heart. He didn't even realize what he had done until his lips were on Kurt's and Kurt was Kissing him back. Kurt laughs nervously when they pulled away.

"I uh... I.. er...." Kurt rambled out, his cheeks a deep shade of red.

That smile on his face only grew as he saw just how adorable his best friend, or whatever they were now, was. "You wanna try again?"

"The skating or......?"

"I'd be ok with either."

Kurt just laughs nervously, his face turning a deeper shade of red, which didn't even seem possible. After Kurt having failed a couple more times at skating, they have and started making their way back to Zisteau's.

"Who are they?" Kurt questions, gesturing to a group of kids who were passing around a joint.

One stood out, jet black hair and icy blue eyes, he remembered him from a dream he had four years ago. "No one we should be involved with." He says, throwing an arm around the others shoulder.


"Hey hon, how was your day?" She asks, as Zisteau comes into the room with Kurt talking close behind. "Hi Kurt."

"Hi." Kurt says sheepishly.

"It was great, we had a lovely time."

"That's fantastic!"

"Uh Z... I'll be back... Gotta use the restroom."

He smiles at his boyfriend shyness. He kisses his cheek. "Alright. Don't have too much fun."

Kurt sends him a half hearted glare, but the smile on his face betrayed anything the glare actually meant.

"I'm so glad you found someone." She says after Kurt left the room.

"Yeah... I love him mom... Like really, really love him." He says, becoming really serious.

She smiles. "That's wonderful."

"But I'm scared I'll end up like dad....."

"Now Zisteau, you are nothing like your horrible father. You are so much better than him, just remember that."

"I will."


"Come on Kurt!" He says excitedly.

"Where are we going Z?"

"Just come on, you'll see when we get there."

Kurt looked confused but followed anyway. Eventually they got to where Zisteau was leading Kurt, which was a tree on a plateau.

"Why are we here?" Kurt questions.

"Just thought I'd show you one of my favorite places to come when I just need to think."

"Ok...?"

He sat down and patted the spot beside him. Kurt sat down beside him, still looking confused.

"You know, I had a dream once, the night before we met for the first time." Zisteau starts, glancing at his boyfriend. "I saw myself as I was growing up. I was friendless for the longest time and then the only reason I had a friend was because I was doing drugs and drinking. In that dream, I always blamed my father leaving for the reason my life was so shitty. But now, now I realize him leaving was one of the things that could've happened to me."

"Why-why are you telling me this?"

"I just felt like it was important to tell you, especially with the circumstances."

Worry instantly colored Kurt's face. "Circumstances?" He gulped.

Zisteau smiled sheepishly. "Kurt Jay Mac, my adorable boyfriend, will you marry me?" He asked, pulling out a ring box.

"I...I.... Yes!" Kurt says with tears in his blue eyes that threatened to spill.

Tears spilled onto his cheeks as he kissed Kurt, his lover and now fiance deeply.


"I don't wanna go yet dad!" The young girl pouts.

"Ah, but we must go home miss Dezeray. So say goodbye to grandma."

Dezeray pouts. "Ok. Bye grandma!"

"Bye sweetie." Dezeray says giving her a hug.

"Why don't you take her out to the car, I'll be out in a sec." Zisteau says, addressing his husband.

Kurt nods. "Alright, come along Dezzy."

The young girl giggles and follows Kurt out the door.

"She sure is a cute one."

"Yeah, she is." He smiles lovingly at the thought of his beautiful daughter. "All those years ago, you said I wasn't like dad, did topic actually believe that?"

"Of course I did. Your nothing like him, and I knew that all along."

"Thanks for believing in me."

"I've always believed in you Zisteau, because I know your destined for great things."

"I love you mom." He says, hugging her.

"I love you too."

Zisteau left the house with a smile on his face. The sun was shining down brightly and a slight breeze rustled the leaves on the nearby trees. His smile only grew wider as he saw the two best things in his life, his amazing husband and his beautiful daughter. As he climbed in the car, he realized, he wasn't anything like this father, and for that, he was thankful.
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