Blood and Gold: Chapter 1

[jiminee]

 It's me again, (and I'm still a piece of garbage~) *ahem*
This is a new story I've been working on for several months, and I finally feel ready to post the first chapter. This is just a thief au, and, well... 

Vechs, Zisteau, Aureylian and Nebris, a band of thieves, have just arrived at the infamous city of Corax, a den of thieves and corruption. However, their plans are often interrupted and changed when other thieves, the law and emotions come into play...

Chapter list

The city of Corax glows like a shining heap of gold, like a dragon’s hoard topped with a crown worth a billion lives. It sits on a border of green and yellow, between the Orskard desert and the Tomeyed forests, glowing far above the sand and trees. The river Weya winds around her pile of gold like a blue serpent, providing both life and transport to the people of Corax.
Beyond the walls of Corax, few Coraci venture; to reach other cities they take boats down the Weya, and stay far away from the scorpion-filled dunes and dark trees. But the forests are not completely empty.

“How’s that!” the woman exclaims, dropping a large, heavy bag onto a low wooden slab that serves as the table of a small and dimly lit room. The bag clinks with the promise of gold within. The woman pulls a strand of red hair from her face and looks at her friends.
“How much is there?” asks a tall, strange looking man, but sighs. His two other comrades are already diving for the bag, spilling the golden contents within.
The man has odd, piglike features; a snouted nose, large pointed ears, and small, mismatched eyes. There are trotters hidden in his sturdy boots, but his hands are human; however, they are afflicted with a tough green substance that covers patches of his entire body.

“Vechs, Nebris!” the woman says. “If you’d just wait, I will tell you how much there is – and how I got it.”
The two men stop squabbling and look up. A coin drops from a hand.
There is a note of humour to the woman’s voice as she says, “All in all, the money in that bag is equal to two hundred gallam.”
One man looks at her with wide purple eyes. “They have cash in that city.”
The woman nods. “This city was built on blood and gold, Nebris. Don’t you know its history?”
“Just tell me what you did.”
She nods again. “The walls are tall and the security is high,” she says. “It was difficult finding a spot. Eventually I found a place where a tall oak’s branch hung just close enough to the wall.”
The third man smirks. “How stupid of them. Clearly they have not caught on.”
“Zisteau, unless we are not the first here,” the goggle-wearing man says, “they would have no way of knowing. What other city would warn Corax of the ways of bandits?”
Zisteau shrugs. “Let Aurey get on with it.”
“Anyway, of course it was simple for me to climb the tree and wriggle along the branch, then drop onto the wall. There were spikes along  the top but I’m used to those too. I found myself at the bottom of the hill, behind some houses. I decided not to target the palace on the first day.”

“When can we do the palace? I want to do the palace!”
“Nebris,” Zisteau says. “We will. Remember, we have to learn the ways around here, and the ins and outs of the palace.”
“I know,” Nebris says. “I’ve been paying attention.”
“Anyway,” Aurey says, “I decided one of the richer houses would be a good target. I did not want to be seen, and I needed to make sure people see my face as little as possible. Nebris, remember, once people start to recognise you it’s bad.”
“So wear disguises.”
“We do,” Vechs says. “You will get to at some point, be patient.”
“I found a good target, a house that looked empty. I stayed behind it in a small alley, and there was a room at the back made mostly of glass.”
“A sunroom,” Zisteau says, mostly to Nebris. “Very common among the wealthy.”
“We should get a sunroom,” Vechs says, looking around at the windowless wooden walls. Aurey lets out a burst of laughter.

“Anyway,” Aurey says. “I glanced through and it was empty. Importantly, the door into the sunroom had a handle on the outside. I stepped on it and pulled myself to the roof of the sunroom. From there, I could easily get onto the roof of the second floor. At the top there was a skylight and I peeked in. Still saw no people. I wrapped a rope around a sticking-out bit of the roof and then I broke the skylight with a rock and dropped through. Brought the other end of the rope down for escaping.”
“Didn’t you cut yourself on the glass?” Nebris asks.
“Yeah, I did.” She points to her arm. Nebris leans closer to look at the tiny scratch.
“You’ll learn how to do that,” Vechs says reassuringly.
“So I was in the house. Usually these people have a safe somewhere, with dogs or something. They don’t trust anyone with their money, not even banks.”
“That’s why they’re so easy to rob,” Vechs says.
“Can we rob a bank?” Nebris asks.
“We’re thieves, burglars, not bank robbers,” Zisteau says.
“So? What’s the difference?” Nebris asks.
“Det, you are so new to this,” Zisteau says. “Bank robbers come in through the front door, point a weapon at the teller with a bag over their faces, and demand cash. We don’t do that. We have style.”
“Don’t swear at me,” Nebris mutters. “I get what you mean.”
“So I found the safe,” Aurey says. “No dog, no tired servant, nothing guarding it. Just a locked basement with some old alcohol and a big safe. I picked the lock of course.”
Vechs nods approvingly.
“Oh and,” she says, “I almost forgot.” From her bag she pulls two old-looking brown bottles. She sets them on the table and watches as Nebris picks one up.
“This is, what? 50 years old?” he exclaims.
Aurey nods. “Enjoy. So I grabbed the cash – they had a lot in there, it was ridiculous, but obviously I only took one bag. Two hundred is a lot, though. I picked up those bottles on the way out, too, and put them in my bag. Getting out was more difficult, with the heavy bag of coins. I used the rope I’d set up earlier to climb out and make my escape.”

“How did you get out of the city?” Nebris asks. 
“Ah,” Aurey says. “I went back to the spot with the tree branch. I could just see it over the wall. I took out my hook and tied it to the rope, and threw it to wrap around the branch. Easy.”
“Good job,” Zisteau says. “We can use that route as long as nobody sees us. Hopefully there won’t be another incident like the one in Feretan.”
“What happened in Feretan?” Nebris asked.
“We’ll tell you someday,” Vechs says. Aurey shoots him a look as his face grows serious. He sees the look and forces a smile onto his face.
“What are we going to do next?” Nebris asks.
“I was just going to ask that. I suggest we sit down and map out our movements for the next few days.” Aurey stands up and sweeps the loose coins into the bag with her arm, then opens a trapdoor in the floor. The door is almost invisible, made to blend in perfectly with the wooden boards. Zisteau designed that. Under the floor, several bags of money sit like fat fruit together, their contents almost bursting the seams. Aurey stows the gold away, but not before pocketing a handful of coins for herself. She closes the trapdoor and stands up, and Vechs has already opened one of the old bottles.

“Already, Vechs?”
“Yes, why not? We’re at the city of blood and gold after all.” He pours the dark amber liquid into a set of four chipped ceramic cups, setting them out on the table as Zisteau rolls out a map.
“I procured this in Lyren,” he says. “It’s a map of Corax. Aurey, can you mark the place with the tree branch?”
Aurey sits down on a stool. She pulls out a pen and studies the map as she sips the alcohol. It is sweet and rich, and she recognises the taste. She finds the city’s gate on the map and traces a finger around the wall, then marks a point on the wall.
“The branch is roughly there,” she says. “That might be the only one, since most of the city’s north wall borders desert.”
“We’ll have to thoroughly scout along the walls,” says Vechs.
Zisteau nods. He takes his own pen and marks an X in the woods, a little way from the city wall.
“That’s our hideout. This map stays in the hideout, understand?”
Nebris nods.
Zisteau draws a rough arrow pointing south-east on the other side of the river Weya, and writes Lyren above it. “That’s where we just came from, before we picked you up.”
Nebris nods again.  “Where do we go after this?”
Aurey shrugs. “We don’t know. We’ve always wanted to come here, since for us – and other thieves too – this is one of the greatest places to be. Blood and gold.”
“Which brings me to something important,” Zisteau says. “We must find out whether there are other bandits around here. Either locals, or wanderers like us. We will have to find out whether they are the good sort or the nasty sort.”
“The difference being?” Nebris asks.
“The good sorts are those who will stay out of other bandit groups’ business, and let them do what they will without a fuss. The nasty sorts are the ones who try to hurt, sabotage or turn over other groups. Usually they are locals, as they think they need to defend their territory.”
“Are we good or…”
Vechs giggles. “We’re good. We let other bandits do what they want, as long as it’s not obnoxious.”
Zisteau looks up sharply. “Are you drunk already?”
Vechs looks at his empty cup. “A little. Shush.”
“Det, Vechs! You need to focus. Get your head straight.”
“Sorry,” Vechs laughs. “You know how I am.” He glances at Aurey.
“How are you holding up, Nebris?” Zisteau asks, and glances over at Nebris’ cup. “Vechs, did you pour him a full cup?”
“I can handle it!” Nebris protests, sipping at the last of the drink.
“How old are you then?” Aurey asks.
The purple-eyed man shrugs. “How’d I know? I told you I never have birthdays. I don’t know my age. Prob’ly… twenty-six, twenty-seven, or something.”
“You are slurring your words,” Zisteau says. “This is fifty-year-old Serpi. It’s powerful stuff!”
“Aaaah,” Aureylian says, understanding why the drink tastes familiar. She has had this before. “This is the stuff we had in Feretan, the night- ”
She stops. Vechs has looked at her menacingly.
“I was just going to say, I’ve had this before.” She puts her lips to the rim of the cup.

“Zisteau,” Nebris says, a slight laugh in his voice. Aurey turns to look at him and grins. She leans over to whisper at Vechs. “He’s going to ask it.”
“Oh good, yes,” Vechs says. “They always do.”
The pair watch both Nebris and Zisteau with amusement.
“Yes, Nebris?”
“Why… Why is your…” Nebris goes red. Vechs snickers.
“Yes?” Zisteau asks. Both Aurey and Vechs know he know exactly what Nebris is going to ask, but is pretending he doesn’t.
“Why do you look like that?!”
Zisteau sighs, holding back a growl. “Because I am part Grax. Happy?”
“Grax?”
“A race of men descended from pigs,” Zisteau says. “From the islands far, far to the north of this continent. There are hardly any of us in Aextanis, so most have never even heard of us.”
“What’s with the green stuff, then?”
“I’ll tell you another time. Catch me on a good day and I might even tell you why I’m in Aextanis and not Peyal.”
Nebris stares at the bottom of his cup. “Thanks,” he mumbles. “Uh, sorry.”
Zisteau sighs again. “I’m used to it.”
“We’re all outsiders,” Vechs says. “Most thieves are. Maybe one day you’ll hear about me. And Aurey.”
Nebris looks up and smiles a little. “I guess that’s why you picked me up, right? Because I’m an outsider.”
Aurey nods. “Yep, that’s why.”
“And the other reason,” Zisteau says. “Bands of four are better than bands of three.”
Vechs shakes his head a little. “Four is an unlucky number,” he mumbles. Only Aureylian hears him.
“In any case,” she says loudly, “You’re a good thief, as you’ve already proved, so you’re a valuable member of our team. Of Naziv.”
“Let’s toast that,” Vechs says, pouring more Serpi into his cup. “To Nebris!”
The others raise their cups. “To Nebris!”

Comments

[eclipse3]

I all ready like it!
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[jiminee]

thank you ^^

[ruddiestbubbles]

Very intriguing! Thoroughly excited to see more of this

[jiminee]

Yay!! ^u^

[aturu]

YUSS!!! I love the bandit-gang theme going on here!!! Can't wait to read on! :3
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[jiminee]

It's very fun to write c:

[the_mysterious_m]

Hype.

[r7]

Interesting.... I have two things to say though.

Firstly, on the writing side of things - don't bombard the reader with a hist ton of proper nouns the way you have in this chapter, particularly when (as far as I can tell) half to three quarters of them have no meaning (to the story/are never mentioned again), and are completely unexplained. It's intimidating, confusing, and makes it so that the reader can't tell which of them are important and which aren't. Worldbuilding is awesome, but it needs to happen over time, once the reader is interested, and in a way that makes sense and doesn't shower the reader with irrelevant details.

Secondly, on the more nitpicky side... No city worth it's salt would ever, EVER have a tree like the one you mentioned. Not only is having one that close absurdly stupid, but a large area is often (as in, almost always) deforested around the walls of a city (or even castle) in order to both spot approaching enemies, and to make it so that there is no cover from the archers positioned on the walls. There shouldn't be a tree within a half mile (or more) of those walls, let alone close enough to get on top of them. (Also, if the city is as big as you make it seem, the walls would be too tall for a tree to reach anyway.)

[jiminee]

SEveral of the cities mentioned will be talked about later and I'm hoping to get a map up soon so people can more easily visualise the area... We'll know which cities are important soon enough. But noted!